The Importance of Being Well-Liked in Your Job

One of the most persistent problems people in the work world have is their failure to collaborate with, and learn from, their co-workers. Several factors are necessary for success in any job and in advancing your career. Being well liked and collaborating are two of the more important factors.

This is at odds with many people’s personalities. Salespeople thrive on competition and being number one. Attorneys, accountants, and engineers, among many others, were once quite competitive at academics and spent a lot of time studying to get an edge over their peers. In some work environments, many people work alone.

Regardless of your job, you are part of a social dynamic inside your organization. Beyond any other single thing – including your work product – the largest obstacle to anyone’s success is a social dynamic turning against you. If your co-workers do not like you, word will spread and your career in your organization may be doomed. If a group of superiors do not like you, the same thing will occur.

Being well-liked in a work environment is an important thing in any job. If you are not liked by your peers, your superiors may think clients will not like you either. If superiors do not like you, you will not get a lot of work. If you are isolated from others within your organization, it is far easier to let you go in times of economic uncertainty. You need to always be in a position where others want to do you a favor and help you out.

There are several keys to being well-liked at work. The most important of these are (1) not getting actively involved in cliques, (2) never saying anything bad about any co-worker, no matter what, (3) making your superiors feel important, (4) listening (do not talk too much) and asking about others, (5) participating in ”group solidarity” activities, and (6) keeping your head down and smiling.

One of the most dangerous things you can do is get actively involved in cliques at work. While there is nothing wrong with being part of a social group, work is likely the wrong place to do this.

First, cliques, like all social organizations, go through their ups and downs. A unifying trait of cliques is the cohesive bond that’s created due to a shared set of circumstances. One of the most unifying types of circumstances cliques experience is when bad things happen to their members. When bad things happen to the members of a clique, the clique tends to come together and unite against the ”negative outside forces” that created the bad circumstances. Rest assured bad things will happen to members of your clique inside virtually any organization.

In most companies and organizations, approximately 50 percent of employees will leave or be fired within the first two to three years. While this is not necessarily a bad thing, many people leave under bad circumstances because they have done something wrong. In addition, a lot of these people will be angry with the organization and its superiors, and the superiors will know they are angry.

If you or a group of very close peers have been seen spending a great deal of time with someone who leaves under bad circumstances, the perception will be that you are angry as well. The firm may even believe you are thinking of leaving for the same reasons. You do not want to be associated with this. You will be perceived as being on the wrong team.

Also, if you are involved in a clique there will be others who, by the very existence of your clique, will feel excluded. They may not be invited to certain lunches, may hear about you doing things outside of work with other clique members, and may walk by the office and see you and other clique members speaking. This will make them feel excluded. When people feel excluded, they generally have a response.

The most typical response inside organizations is the people who feel excluded may form their own clique. Alternatively, they may decide that, since your group is not interested in them (rightly or wrongly), their best course of action is to work harder, kiss up to superiors more, or look better than members of your clique in some way.

Finally, most of the people who advance were never part of cliques. The reason? They did not have the time! Most of the highest-ranking employees in organizations worked extremely hard when they were younger to the point where they had figurative blinders on to everything and everyone that was not relevant to their advancement. Most have very little to fall back on in their professional life other than their work product. Moreover, many of these higher-level people realized cliques were bad news and did not participate in them for that reason.

People advance inside companies because they are extremely committed and never want to telegraph any sort of message that would question their commitment to the organization. When you join a clique, you immediately communicate the message you are not like your superiors were when they were in your shoes.

In addition to not joining cliques, you should never say anything bad about your coworkers, no matter what. In most organizations your interaction with others will invariably involve rumors, statements about other people’s actions, and interesting stories about events in your co-workers’ personal lives. In addition, the professional competence of other associates will be frequently discussed among groups of people.

The reaction of most people is to listen intently and contribute their own negative feelings about the individual in the story. After all, relaying another’s misfortune may give you the sense you are doing very well. Furthermore, most people love telling these sorts of stories and sharing rumors with each other. There are numerous problems with this.

First, you have no way of knowing if the person you’re talking about will eventually hear what you’ve said. If word gets back to that person, he or she will be upset with you. They may be eagerly waiting for you to mess up so they can tell others about your misfortune. You never know. If you are able to avoid this, when you do something that merits gossip, others will be less likely to speak negatively about you.

Second, you do not look like a nice person when you engage in gossip. In fact, to most individuals with serious leadership potential you will look very weak. The weakest people are typically those most interested in gossip. The next time you are in a group, watch how the negative people react to gossip. Oftentimes they will even smile because they are so happy someone else has something negative associated with them. Do not allow yourself to fall into this trap. If you do not engage in gossip, others will respect you more.

Third, be extremely careful when saying negative things about others in your organization, especially subordinates. If you engage in bad mouthing your subordinates, they will find out. If you upset your subordinates, they can create a tremendous amount of difficulty for you in the organization. Most attorneys, for example, make mistakes that staff members cover for every week. Upset a legal staff member and you can kiss that shielding goodbye. They will ensure as many people know about your errors as possible. More importantly, they can tell partners other associates do not like you and more. They can do this in a manner that makes them look good and you bad. You do not want to fight this war. Whatever field you may be in, it is never a good idea to upset your staff members.

You should also consider the feelings of your superiors. Your superiors hired you because they need you to work. They simply cannot do all the work themselves. That is why your job exists. You help them make money and make them look good. Everyone in this world, including you, wants to feel important. You need to make your superiors feel like they are important. If you do this, they will like you and will reward you. It is that simple.

You need to be a soldier, not a general. Soldiers carry out orders and do not question them. Generals give orders, hold authority, and are rewarded for strategy and a job well done. When you work for a superior, you want him or her to be rewarded for your excellent work. You will, in turn, be rewarded.

One of the biggest mistakes young people make in many organizations is presuming they are generals who have a great deal of latitude with decisions and whose advice regarding strategy and more is welcome at any time. It is not. No matter how smart you are, if you are dealing with someone who has substantially more experience than you they probably have a reason for doing things the way they do.

I realize how this language sounds. Nevertheless, when you are younger, your job is to make your superiors look good. You do not make your superiors look good if you constantly question their motives, don’t follow orders, and create your own protocol. You’ll have ample time to be a general later. Before you are a general, though, you must be a soldier.

Your superiors, like you, face a lot of people who make them feel unimportant, whether it’s one of their own superiors, a judge, or a spouse. Your superiors want to surround themselves with people who make them feel good. If the method of advancing to higher levels is a secret to you, I will tell you how it works. Just like you surround yourself in your personal life with people who make you feel good, so too do your superiors in their professional lives. When they like people, they want to help them. Being well-liked by superiors requires that you make them feel important.

It is possible to figure out how to accomplish this by listening. You need to listen to your superiors and coworkers. It is amazing how most of us really like people who ask us about ourselves. People love to talk about themselves. To most of us, we are the most interesting people in the world. Most of the smartest people I have ever encountered are individuals who do a lot of listening and ask others about themselves. Moreover, if you do a lot of listening, you can learn a tremendous amount and grow. Avoid the temptation to talk about yourself.

Very few people take the time to listen to others. If you listen to others and their stories they will like you better. They will also think you are interesting, even if they do all the talking. Think about the people you find interesting. Most likely they are the ones who let you talk about yourself the most.

You should never volunteer a lot of information about yourself or your personal life. Unless you are somehow scandalous or someone with remarkable personality traits, very few people care to listen to what you have to say anyway. I hate to say this, but it is largely true.

You can learn a lot from listening. The more you listen, the more you learn and the more you can help your career. No matter the size of your organization, if you listen you will learn far more than you could on your own. This knowledge will greatly help your career.

To gain the best knowledge you need to spend time with the right people. You need to go to your organization’s parties. You need to be there whenever the organization does something as a group. This is essential. If you are not there, you will telegraph the message that you do not like your co-workers. Go to company functions.

Finally, keep your head down and smile. One of the most remarkable things I ever witnessed was an election in an organization of which I was a part. It came time for the organization to elect a president, and there were several candidates. The problem was, each of the candidates was part of a particular faction of the organization and had enemies. The person who ultimately won was never involved in any organizational conflict, was involved very little overall, and had the fewest friends within the organization. However, the person participated in the organization’s activities, had several acquaintances in the organization, never said anything bad about anyone, and never participated in gossip. This person won the election by a landslide.

And so it is with most organizations. The people who advance are most often the same as this individual. To advance, you need to be non-confrontational and well-liked and keep out of trouble. The best way to do this is to keep your head down, do good work, and be associated with making people feel good. If you do this, and nothing more, you will have a lot of stability in any organization.

Doing a job well is about more than the quality of your work. It is about how well others like you. A discussion about being well liked and what it involves could go on and on. Certainly, a course in human relations could be much more involved than the little we have touched on here. If you follow the above rules, though, you should do just fine.

Consistency is More Important than Brilliance

There once was a speedy hare who bragged about how fast he could run. Tired of hearing him boast, Slow and Steady, the tortoise, challenged him to a race. All the animals in the forest gathered to watch. Speedy ran down the road for a while and then paused to rest. He looked back at Slow and Steady and cried out, ”How do you expect to win this race when you are walking along at your slow, slow pace?”

Speedy stretched himself out alongside the road and fell asleep, thinking that there was plenty of time to relax.

Slow and Steady walked and walked. He never, ever stopped until he came to the finish line.

The animals who were watching cheered so loudly for the tortoise that they woke up Speedy.

Speedy stretched and yawned and began to run again, but it was too late because the tortoise had crossed the finish line.

After that, Speedy always reminded himself, ”Don’t brag about your lightning pace, for Slow and Steady won the race!”

-From Aesop’s Fables

A few years ago I was moving from one house to another. I drove to the local U-Haul and picked up a van.

I am not sure how it is in other cities, but around Los Angeles there are usually about 25 guys who stand in front of U-Hauls on the street waiting to help people move. It’s the same with Home Depot and other stores. I have not seen this in other parts of the world, like Michigan, where I am from. Most of the people who stand in front of the stores are from Mexico. I have never seen an American. To me this says a lot about the work ethic of people from other countries. It seems they are the only ones doing this work. I wonder what makes Americans think they are above doing this sort of work? It makes me a little angry.

If I had grown up in California I’ll bet I would have been the only American standing in front of Home Depots and U-Hauls happily offering to help people paint, do yard work, or move furniture. You need to work to get ahead! You need to find opportunities where others see obstacles. This is what I want for you.

I gathered three guys to help me. It was the day before Christmas. One of the guys helping me was from an Eastern European country and the other two were both from Mexico. After years of picking people up from Home Depots and other places to do work, this was the first time I’d ever picked up one who was not of Hispanic origin. In fact, it was the first time I ever remember seeing one. The Eastern European guy was acting like a maniac. He was being obsessive about how the furniture was covered and moved. He was moving as fast as possible without damaging things, herding the men he was working with from room to room, and barking orders, although I had not asked him to do so. A few times he pulled me aside and told me the other guys were not as hard working as he was and he was ”looking out for me.”

On one occasion, the man started screaming at the men in the truck while they were moving something because they were about to scratch something. I think this was more of a show, however. The men continued what they were doing and started laughing at him.

”He’s crazy!” one of the men said to me. That man’s name was Hillario. He was working with his friend David, who kept his head down and walked by.

At the end of the day, I ended up paying the Eastern European guy a lot more money than either David or Hillario. Mind you, the Eastern European guy argued with me that he deserved more because he had done such a great job. I think I paid him probably close to $40 an hour for the work he had done. This was way too much and I might have made a serious mistake. I have always had a place in my heart for people who make their living doing honest work on the street and I wanted to help him. I respected his work ethic and how hard he had worked. Despite paying him so much money, I did not feel good at the end of the day because he actually made me feel I should have paid him more.

That evening I had a wonderful time. My wife and I had just started dating at the time and she brought over a beautiful plant for the new house. We went out for a nice dinner in the Ritz Carleton and listened to music. It was only our third or fourth date and it was one of the more memorable and fun nights I had ever had. We drank a lot of champagne and I remember we danced to an orchestra. We got home quite late and fell asleep on the couch that had been set up in one of the rooms of the house.

The next morning, Christmas morning, my doorbell rang at around 7:15 a.m. I looked outside and, incredibly, there was the Eastern European man. He was wearing a suit. I could not possibly imagine what was wrong.

I opened the door and let him in.

”Hello,” he said. ”I hope you are enjoying your new home. It must be nice to have your own home like you do. Since I did such a good job yesterday, I would like to ask you to pay me some more money today since it is Christmas. I would very much appreciate your generosity.”

I was very disappointed. The man was not offering to do more work. He was not offering anything except a dose of guilt and a request for more money. His attitude got my day off to a poor start. I was not impressed with his request for more money and it made me feel badly. I had felt very good about helping him the day before.

There is an interesting moral to this story, however. Two of the guys I picked up that day over six years ago are still working for me and my companies today. Along the way one of them got a green card. This made it possible for me to pay him legally to work for one of my companies. The other guy has helped me out with small tasks such as raking leaves and so forth from time to time. I also got them jobs with a contractor I know. Neither of these guys have particularly super work ethics, but they are steady workers and they do what they say they are going to do. This is the most important thing. They do predictable work and do not play any games. They have also stayed employed in one form or another for six years.

I went by the U-Haul several times over the years and saw the Eastern European man standing on the street waiting for work. He was always standing apart from the other workers, or even across the street, because the other workers did not want to stand next to him. I am sure this made it much harder for him to get work. In addition, I also noticed that late in the afternoon he was often there after the other workers had been picked up. He was a pariah of sorts.

While this example involves day laborers, it is no different at all for the highest paid workers in other industries and the same sort of logic applies. Just being really good at something is not enough. You also need to be consistent. Being consistent is one of the most important aspects of your work ethic. The people who are consistent are the ones who have the best careers in the long run. Being consistent is something that is important not just for you but also for those around you.

Despite speaking good English, despite dressing well, despite being the best worker, I am confident the Eastern European man probably worked less and ultimately earned less money than most of the other men who got work from the street in front of the U-Haul.

In my younger days there was a family that lived by my house that never had any money. They often came over and my mother would loan the mother money for food and to buy basic necessities (when she had the money). The father of this family was a plumber, and in the 1970s in Detroit most plumbers did very well. The father never seemed to be able to hold on to a job very long. He also had a difficult time with unions. He simply refused to join one. He thought he was smarter than all the other plumbers. Despite this guy’s brilliance, his family never had the money to eat. If he could have just held a job and done things in a consistent manner, everything would have been fine.

So many people are under the misconception the most important thing in their job is being brilliant and outstanding, but they’re really missing the point. Being consistently good at something, and doing the job day after day is much more important.

There is a certain type of person I have seen in the world of work over and over again. This person comes to the interview unbelievably enthusiastic about work and being part of the company. He shows up for work and his work product is much better than that of others around him. He may even get a quick raise or two. People around him start to notice and the level of insight he puts into his job is incredible.

-If the person is in sales he is the highest performing salesperson

-If the person does a manual job he works harder and faster than others

-If the person is in writing he writes more material that is more insightful than others

In whatever this person is involved, he puts an incredible level of insight into it and does the very best he can with it.

However, the problem I’ve seen countless times is that when someone performs at such a high level in the beginning, it almost always leads to troubling and often bizarre behavior later.

I once worked with a man who started out being extremely enthusiastic. Then he stopped working every day and made strange excuses for missing work. Then the man started disappearing for hours at a time during the day.

The better and more extreme someone’s performance is, the less likely they are to maintain it over time. Things like always showing up for work, always doing the job, cooperating with peers, and more are important characteristics. These are the people who contribute to companies and allow them to continue over time. These are the people companies want on their team. These are the sorts of people you need to emulate, who hold on to their jobs and continue their long and prosperous careers.

A one-shot performance is in no one’s best interest. Companies and organizations need people who are consistent and are consistently ”good enough.”

I’ve spent most of my career in the legal recruiting field. I have seen something occur in legal recruiting so many times it is incredible. Because it’s been quite destructive for our companies and something I have learned to recognize, I would like to share this pattern with you.

When we are looking for legal recruiters, it is often important the person have an outstanding educational pedigree. For that reason, we love people who went to places like Harvard Law School or Yale Law School and who have worked at the very best American law firms. People with experience working for the best American law firms are also typically the most motivated people. Most of the resumes we see from people who have these outstanding backgrounds involve short, one- to two-year stints working in a law firm. Several years ago I would never have questioned this, but now I do.

When someone with this sort of background starts at our recruiting firm, one of the first things we notice is how the person will work very hard at first. However, they often ignore the rules others in the organization are following. Instead, the person decides they can start making up their own rules. In one case I remember one of our Harvard Law School recruiters deciding that instead of following the rules she was going to spend all of her energy concentrating on moving a large group of attorneys over to another firm in one big swoop. She worked for months on this and our company loaned her tens of thousands of dollars. When this did not work out she did not earn any income. Instead of following the rules, she was trying to be brilliant.

Another recruiter (also from Harvard Law School) believed she did not have to work the same hours as other recruiters as long as she pulled a few nights a week. Though this might have worked to get her very good grades, it missed the boat because it didn’t allow her to interact with people looking for jobs during the day.

Over and over again, I have seen people who feel like they do not need to play by the rules in the companies where they work, and, instead, can do whatever they choose. They feel like they can play by their own rules and that a single performance trumps consistency. Consistency is the most important thing. Sustained effort over time is what really matters.

One of the best metaphors for consistency is the Grand Canyon. The Grand Canyon has stood for millions of years and it started out as just a stream. The power of this stream cut through the rock and over millions of years has created a giant swath through the earth. This is the power of consistency. Consistency over time will change the world.

The other day I was interviewing a very nice girl for a position unrelated to practicing law. Her resume was filled with nothing but one public interest job after another. It looked to me like her entire life had been devoted to helping other people. She was also an attorney and had the sort of pedigree I felt meant she could be a very highly paid attorney. In interviewing her, though, I quickly realized the last thing she was interested in doing was making money. Deep down she really wanted to help people.

When I asked her why she wanted to help people she recounted how her father had never held a job for very long and because of this the family had grown up quite poor. She said growing up poor made her realize how many people suffer in the world. She told me she wanted to help the people who were suffering. The more I thought about this, the more I realized she would not have suffered like this had her father simply been able to be consistent. Being consistent is the most important thing in a job.

The benefit of consistency is that it constantly involves the application of measured pressure to a task. Over time, like with the Grand Canyon, measured pressure can break down barriers and make everything go forward. You need to consistently apply measured pressure in your work.

I am not trying to be critical of brilliance and hard work. The point I am trying to make, however, is that life responds better to work that is done in a consistent manner over time. Concentrate your efforts on what you can accomplish over time. This is the path to success. Nothing happens overnight.

The Best Career Advice You Will Ever Receive

When I was around 14 years old, I moved out of my mother’s house and in with my father, his new wife, and her daughter in a different part of town. I would stay there for a few months, attend a different school, then move to Bangkok, Thailand, and attend school there.

At this new school, immediately I learned that one of the most popular girls in the school liked me a lot. She started calling me and having her friends invite me to parties. She would come over with various gorgeous friends to watch television at my house and invite me to go shopping with her on the weekends. I was very flattered and really enjoyed the attention. The only problem was I did not really like this popular girl. She was actually quite vicious and boys in the school were not too crazy about her either. She had become very popular by being extremely calculating politically and was gifted at forming cliques and playing people off one another. To this day, I am confident she is probably the head of the social pecking order wherever she is. Because this girl liked me so much, I suddenly found myself socializing with kids who were a couple of years older than I was. Additionally, everyone seemed to be extremely interested in being my friend.

One day after school I was hanging out with a group of three of the most attractive girls in our class. The girl that was so enamored with me was not there. We were all sitting around one of their bedrooms playing cards. I started talking to one of the girls and we really got along quite well. We were interested in the same things and, to make a long story short, I really liked this girl and she liked me. I invited her over for dinner and we spoke on the phone late into the evening that night.

Things were normal at school the next day (a Friday), but by Sunday I realized not only my admirer but the new girl I had met were not taking or returning my calls. By Monday my “girlfriend” had not only stopped talking to me completely, but she had employed various “goons” around the school to help express her displeasure; they would bump into me in the halls a little too aggressively. I had a few very uncomfortable moments in places like the lunch room where I walked up to groups of people and they dispersed. These were people who had been my friends only a day or so previously.

While I was only attending that school for a short time, I made perhaps the biggest mistake I could have made: I gave up and started feeling bad about the whole thing. Although I had not really done anything all that bad, I felt as if I had really let my “girlfriend” down by socializing with another girl. In terms of responding, my “girlfriend” knew what to do. She proceeded to have her friends and others stop talking to me. In addition, she let her wrath show in other ways that were immature but served a purpose in terms of getting me down. One thing I remember was a prank phone call where she and a bunch of girls (I think, at least) were screaming in the background they hated me.

While I should have reacted in an equally savage way, my reaction was to withdraw. I knew I would only be at the school a short while longer and so I decided to feel depressed about the whole thing. I allowed this to affect:

-My grades

-Meeting new people

-Where I sat at lunch each day

-How I walked from class to class each day

-My social aspirations at the school

-My extracurricular aspirations at the school

In fact, this one little episode was something that really sent me into a serious downward spiral. It was a particularly bad episode because I did not know anyone at the school and once this girl enacted her vengeance I felt defeated. The truth, of course, was I overreacted and it was not that big of a deal. I allowed something quite trivial to really affect me in a negative way.

How many times have you allowed something quite trivial to affect you in a negative way? In your career, have you ever overreacted to an insult? If you were fired from a job, did you get depressed and withdraw? If you searched for a job for a long time with no success, did you let your failure to find the ideal job get you down?

The following story about Michael Jordan relates his key to success, and the key to doing well in everything. Jordan is widely viewed as the best basketball player of all time, but when he tried out for his high school basketball team, he didn’t make it. His reaction could have been exactly like mine when he failed to make the team. He could have become depressed and stopped socializing with the other high school basketball players. He could have given up on athletics and started doing something else, like spending his time with bad kids. He could have allowed himself to get fat and lazy. There are a multitude of things Jordan could have done when he failed to make the high school basketball team.

Think about your own life. What have you done when you failed at something?

Jordan’s reaction was to fight like hell. He started practicing more. He used his disappointment to propel him toward trying harder and harder and getting better and better. After only two years of college basketball (he made his college team), Jordan became a professional player. The rest is history.

In an interview with Jordan several years ago he was describing the secret to his success. In this interview he said when he is insulted by other people he allows these insults to just “build up,” and then he uses them as “jet fuel” for his next game. Anything bad that happens to him and any slight he receives he uses to make himself better at his game and give him passion.

Think of all of the negative things that have happened to you in your life. Think of all of the negative things that have happened to you in your career. Perhaps you have been fired. Perhaps you have been passed over for a promotion. Perhaps someone does not see or realize a particular skill that you have. Perhaps someone has treated you unfairly. Perhaps someone is treating you unfairly now.

I am sure you are like most of us and bad things have happened to you. Your reaction is the key to whether you succeed or fail.

One of my favorite rock bands is Def Leppard. I liked this band even more when I found out their drummer lost one of his arms in a motorcycle accident and kept drumming. Instead of quitting, the drummer learned to drum with one hand. Imagine the passion this must have taken. Isn’t this a wonderful example of perseverance? The drummer is also probably better known now that he works with one arm than he was when he had two.

You need to use every single negative thing that happens to you as “jet fuel” to drive your dreams and ambitions forward. The worst thing you can do is allow something negative to push you down and keep you down. Make negative things the most positive thing that could have ever happened to you. If many negative things happen you can just keep getting more fuel. Keep storing this fuel up and the world will not know what happened once you start going.

A list of some of Abraham Lincoln’s setbacks is below:

1831 – Lost his job
1832 – Defeated in run for Illinois State Legislature
1833 – Failed in business
1834 – Elected to Illinois State Legislature (success)
1835 – Sweetheart died
1836 – Had nervous breakdown
1838 – Defeated in run for Illinois House Speaker
1843 – Defeated in run for nomination for U.S. Congress
1846 – Elected to U.S. Congress (success)
1848 – Lost re-nomination
1849 – Rejected for land officer position
1854 – Defeated in run for U.S. Senate
1856 – Defeated in run for nomination for vice president
1858 – Again defeated in run for U.S. Senate
1860 – Elected U.S. President (success)

Think about all of Lincoln’s failures. Many people would give up on life after a nervous breakdown. Not Lincoln. The message here is more than just perseverance. The message I want you to understand is you need to use every single negative thing that happens to you as fuel to drive you forward. Get passionate.

The success of most individuals is largely based on how they handle setbacks. Bad things can warp and ruin many peoples’ lives. Some examples are:

-Job loss

-Divorce

-Bad relationships

For many people, a bad experience can become a filter for how they view their lives. They begin having an expectation in the future that other bad things will happen and begin to avoid situations where they believe these bad things will occur. They also often begin associating with others who support them in their negative view of the world. Think about negative groups of people you may know like this. Low achievers avoid situations where there has been some sort of pain before. They allow this pain to continue influencing them. Children often close so many doors in their life by simply avoiding areas where they have been in pain before. Adults do the same thing. Instead, imagine the power you would have if you used something negative to change your life and rechanneled your experiences into something more positive.

Another issue I want to bring up briefly involves finding your “jet fuel.” A huge mistake many people make is not being honest with themselves about the emotions they are actually feeling. Many people who may feel angry, sad, or hurt do not allow themselves to ever experience the pain associated with whatever caused them to feel bad. You need to experience the pain; the pain you feel is actually a very good thing. Experience the pain and then use this pain to fire you up to do better in the future. When you know that you can use negative energy in a positive way you will never have to be fearful of bad experiences because you will know these experiences will ultimately help you and not hurt you.

Never close down. Take punishment and learn from it.

The best lessons we get from life are from the bad things that happen to us. You can do more than learn from negative experiences, you can use them to fire you up.

Think about the power of taking intense negative energy and using this energy positively. This is a massive advantage and something that will help you greatly. If something bad happens, channel this energy into something positive. This will change your life and your career.

Love Your Work And The People Who Give It To You

From the time I was 19 until I was about 27, I spent a good portion of my summers doing asphalt work around Detroit. That included asphalt sealing, hot tar crack filling, and asphalt patching. It was seasonal work and most people in Michigan only seal their asphalt once a year.

”Around Detroit” is a blanket term because I was working in three counties and in an area ecnompassing hundreds of miles. Essentially, I would travel to areas where people could afford to maintain asphalt. Seven days a week, I would get up as early as I could and go out to start the day at one of my jobs. Sometimes my drive was about an hour. Sometimes it was 15 minutes. Most of the time, I drove about 30 minutes.

I made this drive each day because I had work to do. Every day I had work to do was an extremely exciting day for me. Once I got to a work site, I would count on the people around the area – neighbors, other businesses, and passing traffic – to see the work I was doing. I would stop cars and tell them I was in the neighborhood and willing to work. If I was in a residential area, I would knock on doors and tell them I could do work for them. I would do everything within my power to get work, and I always got business. I worked seven days a week. I worked so hard some of my employees would quit the job from exhaustion only after a few days. There were, however, people who lasted.

In addition, while doing this work I maintained a profound respect for the people for whom I was working. I did everything in my power to do the work to the absolute best of my ability. I took the work incredibly seriously. I loved my job.

The worst thing that could happen to me was not getting work. I knew if I did not do a good job one year, the next year I would not get the work again. I knew people talked, and the better I did in one area, the more work I got. I remember one year I showed up at a house in a certain neighborhood where I’d worked for several years, and a widow answered the door. She told me her husband had died and she could no longer afford the service. Although it was a nice house in an expensive neighborhood (where I normally could have earned a good amount of money), I really liked her husband a great deal and wanted to help her. I did her driveway for free that year and the next year as well. I wanted to work.

I simply would not take no for an answer. I remember a very nice man who owned a Chevy dealership in Warren, Michigan. He also owned a rundown mall in addition to the dealership. I really wanted to resurface his dealership, but he didn’t have the money either. I told him I thought things would one day pick up for him. I offered to do work for him at his rundown mall on days I did not have any work, doing hot tar crack filling for the cost of the goods. He let me do this and, over a couple of months, I worked there for seven or eight days when I did not have any work. I never ended up resurfacing his dealership, but I was glad for the work he had given me. He did not take advantage of me and was a very nice person.

Why would someone work for free? Because you need to fall in love with your job. You need to love what you do. And work attracts work. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing something good for people. The right people out there will never take advantage of you.

Having work is a privilege. Work deserves to be cherished and held in the highest possible esteem. Work is your lifeblood. Without work, everything stops.

When I was younger I needed to get up each day and drive to go do my work and to find new work. I needed to impress each person I met each day, or else I knew they might not let me work for them the next year. For me, having work was extremely important in all respects. With work I was able to support myself during the summers and school year. In addition, work provided me the knowledge I would always have something to do no matter what happened in the world.

The best opportunity you can ever have is when someone gives you work, because this work can lead to more work.

One of the stupidest mistakes people can make is being suspicious of those who give us work. There are people who measure every single hour of their day and make sure they never under any circumstances give their employer too much of their time. There are people who cheat their employers. There are people who disrespect their customers and clients. There are people who resent being given more work. There are people who feel they have too much work.

Work is what supports your family. The people that give you work to do are the people who are giving that support. You need to respect them and you need to get work at all costs.

The only way to advance is by doing a good job with your work and exceed expectations. The more incredible your work is the more people want to work with you. The more work you are given and the more you do, the more you are seen as someone who is promotable, someone who is an expert. The best supervisors are the people who have done the work they are supervising.

In law firms where I have worked, when someone stopped getting work it meant they were not doing good work. If someone is not doing good work, they are generally in trouble. What bad attorneys do is move around from firm to firm for a while until eventually people stop giving them work and they cannot get a job.

Most attorneys exist almost day to day. They are entirely dependent upon people continually giving them work. If clients do not like an attorney’s work, they will stop giving the attorney work. If lots of clients stop liking the attorney, the attorney will be left with nothing whatsoever to do. Once the attorney has nothing to do, his or her career is over. This happens to more people than you may think.

I have given a lot of thought to the concept of doing ”good work” over the years because I think it is so crucial and important to our lives. When you do not care about the work you are doing, there is no reason for the person paying you to have you do it. When you do not care, whoever is paying you can always find someone who does. It is very easy to find someone who cares about the job he or she is doing.

You need to make each day at work the most important. You need to respect the work you are getting and you need to fall in love with it. Work itself is a wonderful thing.

If you have ever been without work for even a short time you know how hard this can be. It is never good to be without work. Being without work means your skills and value do not currently have a place. People without work are depressed and wallow. You need to make sure that you always have work.

I want to tell you a couple of stories that you may think are sad; however, they are also about two people whom I respect immensely.

I sometimes spend a good portion of my day reviewing the resumes of people who are applying to various jobs being recruited for by BCG Attorney Search, one of our recruiting firms. I have seen some pretty dramatic things happen to attorneys. In a down market even attorneys are at risk of losing their jobs. Conditions can become very, very brutal. When attorneys making $200,000+ a year lose their jobs, they often have a very hard time finding another one. In the middle-class world, from where I hail, there is a belief you should never accept a job that pays less than your last job. The idea is once someone has paid you a certain amount to do a job, that is your worth forever, and you should never take a job that pays less.

This particular belief is so prevalent that all over the United States there are people sitting on their rear ends all day doing nothing because they are waiting for a job to come along that pays as much as their last one. I cannot tell you how many careers have gone down the drain due to this philosophy, which is incredibly short-sighted.

One day I reviewed the resume of an attorney who had lost his job after about 10 years with a major American law firm. I am confident the job he lost paid more than $200,000 a year. He’d lost his job about six months earlier and, instead of doing nothing, he’d taken an entry-level job in a customer service call center. During this time, he’d actually won some awards. He was doing the best he could. When I reviewed his resume I could see he was someone who refused to give up when the going got tough. I respected him. I could see his optimism. He knew the importance of work and did not give up.

For the past couple of years, about once a week on average, I’ve gotten a massage from an older woman who comes to our home to do this. When the economy began to slow I stopped getting regular massages because work was so busy due to the number of people losing their jobs. When the woman did come by, I asked her how the economy had been treating her. It used to be you needed to schedule her at least a week in advance because she was so incredibly busy. One day things were different. She showed up with some information about a spiritual topic she knew I was interested in. She’d never brought me anything like that before. In addition, during the massage she wanted to make sure I was going to get a massage again the following week, and I could sense the desperation in her voice. I started asking her about her business and she told me it had really slowed down. She told me she was going to start doing more marketing. I asked her what she meant and she told me the following:

”I like to go and sit out in front of fancy restaurants with a sign and my massage table. People come up to me and ask me for my card.”

This is how this particular woman was finding work in a recession. Is this pathetic? No. This is someone who was staying busy and doing the very best she could in a tough market. The same goes for the attorney. He was also doing the very best he could.

I am in the career business and I see people take jobs that are beneath them every day. I have seen first-rate attorneys end up on the street after losing jobs, addicted to crystal meth and walking around barefoot. I have seen shocking things happen to people who did not have any work. Work is the absolute most important thing you can have.

My hope for you is that you will make the most of whatever job you have and give it your all. If it does not work out, give your next job your all, whatever it is. You need to put your heart and soul into everything you do. You are a special person and the world will realize this, but you need to keep moving. Never slow down. Keep working. The harder you work, the higher you will climb.

You Must Produce and Do Quality Work

At Toyota’s headquarters in Tokyo, one of the most striking things you see when you first enter is a collection of three pictures. The first is of Toyota’s founder, the second is of Toyota’s chairman, and the third, which is much larger than the other two is of W. Edwards Deming. The company believes Deming is the man whose teachings and philosophies made the company what it is today.

Deming taught the Japanese about quality and how to continuously improve quality. In fact, the success of modern Japan after World War II as an economic and industrial power is largely based on the Japanese march towards continuously improving their quality, versus the typical focus of American corporations:

1. Short-term profits
2. Mobility of management
3. Running a company on visible figures alone
4. Relying on technology to solve problems

Japanese goods used to be the laughing stock of the world in terms of their quality. Today, they are considered among the best, and the phrase “Made in Japan” is considered synonymous with quality. As the quality of Japan’s goods has increased, so too has its standard of living and status in the world. The drive towards quality has served to elevate the country of Japan and its people. If quality can do this for a country, imagine what it can do for your career.

Incredible quality does not just change nations, it can change your life as well. The more you stress quality in your job, the better you will do in everything you attempt. You cannot avoid doing quality work and bringing improvement to your life. This is the lesson Deming brings to the way companies and countries are run, and your life.

The better you perform your job and the better the quality of your work, the more you will be valued by your employer. In addition, the more you concentrate on doing quality work, the more you will continuously improve. It is rare for people who produce the very best work and demand perfection to ever be out of a job or ever have a hard time finding a job. They get exceptional references from their previous employers, and current employers try to hold on to them, even in the worst economies. Producing quality work is something very rare and, because it is so rare, it is something that’s valued in every marketplace all over the world.

We seek out and value the people who are the best at their jobs. The best employers want the people who produce the highest quality results to do work for them. When you produce quality work, you typically do not have to worry about job security, raises, or what other people are doing.

When I started practicing law with my first firm, I found myself working 15+ hours per day, seven days a week. I was not working this hard because I thought it necessary. In fact, many of the people I was working with at the firm had the same amount of work I did. I was working so hard because I knew the work I was doing could always be better. I knew I could make the same point in fewer words in a document I was writing. I knew I could make a more persuasive argument by finding better support for it. I knew I could stay a little bit longer and make something the best it possibly could be. I gave my all. The great thing about my continuous quest for quality is, the better I did, the more the most important attorneys at my firm started having me do all their work. In addition, I continued to get better and better at what I did.

I will never forget when I quit working at my first firm and decided to go to work for another. For several hours the most important partners in the firm, one after another, came into my office and tried to convince me to stay. At the time I did not know they rarely, if ever, did this when someone was leaving the firm. After the third day of this, I asked one of the younger partners why they were trying so hard to get me to stay.

“We want you to stay because you do really good work and you care about what you are doing,” he told me. “You also continue to get better and better and show incredible promise as a litigator.”

I was young at the time and those words sort of went in one ear and out the other; however, I remembered them years later when I started to employ people and observe their work ethic. I realized the effort I had been putting in was something quite rare. It is one thing to simply work hard at what you are doing and another to make your job your passion and set out to continuously improve.

A year or so later, when I wanted to come back to that firm, I asked the head of the firm if I could return to work. He said “yes” right away. For various reasons, this did not work out, but the fact is the good work I had done made an impression on the head of this firm and on the people in it.

In your job the most important thing you can do is make an incredible effort and do the best possible quality of work. When you do the best work you can, you are behaving like a professional, like someone who makes a difference in your company or firm. Your co-workers will also respect you more. You have employment security and, even if the firm you are working for goes away, your employer and co-workers will always recommend you to others. It is a wonderful thing to be known for the quality of your work.

Following World War II, the Japanese Union of Scientists and Engineers invited Deming to come to Japan and give a series of lectures on how management could improve quality. The Japanese told Deming they would follow his instructions. Deming predicted within five years Japan would be competitive economically, and consumers all over the world would be demanding the products the Japanese produced. The Japanese followed Deming’s suggestions and, within eighteen months of Deming’s first lecture, saw huge strides in both the quality of their goods and productivity.

I predict if you start doing everything you can to improve the quality of your work, in less than a year you will start getting promoted and find yourself in a different place than you are today. People who do good work are management, CEO or high-earner material. All you need to do in order to really advance your career and life is improve the quality of your work. Once you do this, everything else quickly falls into place.

When Deming initially arrived in Japan after World War II, Japan’s goods were considered shoddy and cheap throughout the world. They were made from the cheapest of materials. They were among the worst products in the world. Today, their goods are considered the envy of the world, whether the products are electronics, cameras, automobiles, or computers.

For American and European firms that used to control the world in these fields, the transformation brought about by Deming’s philosophies has been nothing short of catastrophic. In the electronics industry, for example, nearly all components – such as computer chips, transistors, and semiconductor chips – were American inventions. The Japanese advanced so quickly in this field by the 1980s most American television and radio manufacturers were gone, and they rushed to Washington begging for help. The same thing happened with the American automobile industry; as the Japanese gained market share, American companies rushed to Washington and elsewhere asking for help.

In my studies of Deming, one of the things that stands out for me is a video of him made shortly before he died in 1993. In the video he offers the words, “It’s all about the quality.” Everything is about the quality. Think about how much different America would be today if we had the same quality of goods the Japanese produced. We do not make the same quality of goods because our emphasis is on other things, such as short-term profits. If our emphasis was on quality, everything else would be falling into place.

Deming’s philosophies are quite simple. He believed organizations must create ever improving products and services. The more the product or service improves, the more loyal the customers of the business become. Loyal customers will brag to others about the product or service they are receiving and create new customers. Profits from a sale to a loyal customer are often six to eight times the profits from another customer. The company with the most loyal customers typically has much higher profits than the average company.

The results of ever-improving quality are profound. For example, if you are an attorney, you make your writing better and more persuasive. If you are a manufacturer, you make your product better. You never stop questioning and improving to make your product as good as it can be. According to a famous account of Deming’s work:

Dr. Deming’s teachings and philosophy can be seen through the results they produced when they were adopted by the Japanese, as the following example shows: Ford Motor Company was simultaneously manufacturing a car model with transmissions made in Japan and the United States. Soon after the car model was on the market, Ford customers were requesting the model with the Japanese transmission over the USA-made transmission, and they were willing to wait for the Japanese model. As both transmissions were made to the same specifications, Ford engineers could not understand the customer preference for the model with the Japanese transmission. It delivered smoother performance with a lower defect rate. Finally, Ford engineers decided to take apart the two different transmissions. The American-made car parts were all within specified tolerance levels. On the other hand, the Japanese car parts had much closer tolerances than the USA-made parts-i.e., if a part was supposed to be one foot long, plus or minus 1/8 of an inch, then the Japanese parts were within 1/16 of an inch. This made the Japanese cars run more smoothly and customers experienced fewer problems. (From Dr. Deming by Rafael Aguayo, pages 40 & 41.)

According to Deming, as quality is increased, costs decrease. This sets in motion the following reaction:

1. Better quality leads to higher productivity and lower costs
2. The firm with lower costs can pass along the savings to consumers in the form of lower prices
3. When a firm has lower prices and better quality, customers are happier
4. The firm captures market share and hires more people
5. The firm stays in business and grows its market share

Under Deming’s philosophy, when you improve the quality of what you are doing, everything simply gets better and this happens rapidly. What does this mean for you?

I believe one of the most fundamental and important lessons in the development of a country and an economic power come from the experience of Japan. I believe the philosophies of Deming are profound and can make a major and important difference in your life and career. The more you work on the quality of what you are doing, the better you, too, will get and the better your career will get.

When looking at employers, you should also concentrate on working for those whose quality is getting better and better. Employers who strive to create outstanding quality are the same ones likely to be around tomorrow. The better the quality of the product the business is producing, the more opportunities they are likely to have in the future for you. The better the quality of your work, the more opportunities you are also likely to have in the future. Make quality your first priority.

Show Value, Do Not Expect Value

If you understand the message I am about to share with you, you will thrive in your career and life, and you will also be very good at identifying organizations and people to avoid. The message is this: people and businesses crash and burn when they start expecting value before giving value.

This may seem like a very trivial thing to say, but this is happening in epidemic proportions around this country. It’s spinning out of control and it’s hurting our economy, individual careers, and your future to the same incredible degree it’s hurting mine.

A few months ago, a friend of mine and I discussed working together on a small business deal. My friend does a show for ESPN and when he is not filming the show the studio just sits there. He thought it would be fun to start filming a show announcing sports scores and streaming this information over the Internet on his website. He wanted someone to help him with some of the business aspects, and I agreed to do so. In order to do this, we needed to draw up a contract outlining our responsibilities.

I have another old friend who’d recently become a partner at a big law firm in Los Angeles. I asked him to put together a simple agreement. The agreement was a standard, “form” type of contract and I knew it would not take him more than an hour. Although our firm has an in-house attorney who could have easily drafted this document, I wanted to give my friend some business, since he was a new partner, and also introduce him to my friend from ESPN. I thought this might result in some work down the road for him. I was trying to do a nice thing.

My friend at the law firm called me after I requested he email over a short form agreement. Pretty soon, he was trying to talk me into spending over $20,000 on this agreement, which included all sorts of unnecessary work. I told him to just email me a form agreement and not to do any work on the project. He said okay. A few weeks later I still had not received anything and called him looking for the agreement. He was out of the office and my call was transferred to a paralegal who said she would get an agreement right over to me. A couple of hours later I received an email from the paralegal with an agreement. I knew all she had to do was a global “search and replace” to change a few words to the name of our company. It was not a lot of work. It probably took her no more than an hour.

A month or so later I received a bill for over $7,000, charging me $600 an hour for work that simply was not done. The bill had such notations in it as, “Review business plan, 3.5 hours, $2,100.”

The problem was there was no business plan. My friend was literally making things up and lying about the work he had supposedly done. Then he started calling me, demanding the money and harassing our accounting department. I was incredibly shocked.

What happened here? Why was this guy doing this?

His attitude was that he deserved something for nothing. This attitude can creep into organizations and destroy them. It can also destroy people.

Around the same time I had referred another friend of mine to the same attorney. The friend I had referred had a very large and serious legal issue. My friend went to Santa Monica to interview the attorney about working for him. After the interview, the attorney said he would send him a fee agreement discussing what the fees would be if he wanted to hire him. Once my friend received the “retainer agreement” (a simple statement of how much the firm will charge for doing the work) he decided he did not want to work with the attorney due to the high costs he was proposing; therefore, my friend did not return the agreement.

A few weeks later, after the attorney realized my friend was not going to work with him, my friend received a bill for $14,000 from the attorney for putting together the retainer agreement. Like me, my friend called this attorney to ask him if he was serious. He told him he was quite serious. My friend refused to pay this bill and is being harassed to this day.

You may find this story as hard to believe as I do but it actually happened. This sort of thing happens in the business world every day. There are tons of people who simply expect something for nothing regardless of whether or not they provide any value. What do you think happened with my friend and this law firm? Exactly what you might expect: the law firm and its owner were indicted for their role in one of the largest scams by a law firm in history. When people start expecting something for nothing it is generally a very good indication something bad is about to go down.

The example of my friend is so serious because he will never get a referral from me again. He will never get business from any of the friends I referred to him. His desire for quick gain has likely cost him millions of dollars in potential referrals throughout his career.

Have you ever focused too much on your rewards? When you focus on getting rewards and not adding value, you stop yourself dead in your tracks. People see right through you.

Your career is not about you at all. Your career is about the fact someone else has a problem that he or she needs you to solve. For any job you have ever had, the company hired you because it had a problem that needed to be solved that it could not solve on its own. Throwing yourself into solving someone else’s problem is essential to growing in your career.

The problem could be as simple as serving clients in a restaurant by bringing them food, or as sophisticated as analyzing the tax issues between a large corporation and a foreign country in which it does business. Regardless of the problem, someone needs you to solve it.

Let me tell you a secret very few people understand: your income, praise, and life will get better in proportion to how well you solve people’s problems, and how dedicated you are, and appear to be, to doing so.

The more you throw yourself into solving other people’s problems, the more dedicated you appear to be to solving other people’s problems. The better you are at delivering results, the better you will do in your life. This is the secret to a great career. It is a simple one but very difficult for most people to do on a day-to-day basis. You are owed nothing by the world or anyone until you go out and create huge sums of value. You need to create value by solving problems to the very best of your ability.

When you look at work simply in terms of the rewards, you are diverting your energy from what creates those rewards in the first place. You need to get into the work you do and make it the best you possibly can. People will hire you and seek you out as long as you create outstanding value for them.

People and companies that expect something without doing work cause enormous damage. Car companies in the United States have experienced this type of damage. One of the fringe benefits of working for car companies, such as General Motors, is their unions often have contracts that prevent people from being laid off. The arrangement is so absurd that if GM wants to close down certain plants, for example, it can, but it needs to keep paying the workers from those plants. For months, and sometimes years, those workers are furloughed in “job banks” where they go and sit all day with no purpose whatsoever in large rooms with nothing to do, all the while getting paid. The absurdity of this is hard to believe. Once a company or group of individuals starts expecting something for nothing, death is often near.

The problems with car companies go even deeper than this. For example, many American car companies do not make cars people want. Refusing to make cars the public wants is an example of not showing value. You cannot get ahead or do anything worthwhile if you do not show value. Once you start expecting something without creating value, the end is often near.

One of the most amazing things about many musicians, movie stars, and other individuals who become really famous is they usually start out creating a lot of value. Their performances contain a lot of passion and they wow audiences with their talents. The same thing goes for businesses that get really popular. They provide tremendous value to people, and people flock to them. However, at some point along the line many businesses and people become famous and something happens – they stop providing value to others, and this leads to their fall.

The indictment of Governor Rod Blagojevich of Illinois was a perfect example of this. Politicians typically start out their careers talking about how they will provide more value to the people than those they are running against. Politicians get elected based on their pronouncements they will help others. At some point, however, for many politicians the office becomes more about providing value to themselves than to others, and this is when politicians typically fall. One quote from the Wall Street Journal really stuck out for me:

Mr. Blagojevich appeared frustrated that the Obama team didn’t appear willing to talk about favors to the governor in exchange for a favorable appointment.

“They’re not willing to give me anything except appreciation. [Expletive] them,” the governor said, according to the affidavit. It further claimed that Mr. Blagojevich expressed frustration at being “stuck” in his job as governor, which pays $177,412, according to one conversation alleged in the affidavit.

Here Blagojevich is complaining about his salary and what he believes is due him. When I think about this I am absolutely amazed. I can imagine it must be a tremendous amount of work to win a governor’s election. People do not run for the position for the money. In this quote you can see the governor has become more focused on his own rewards than on what he can deliver to others.

Creating value for others sets up a natural path for rewards. Contributors focus on the work they are doing and the rewards comes naturally. Focusing on the rewards diverts your energy from what generates rewards in the first place – the value your customers, clients, or audience gets from what you do. People want to align themselves with people who are focused on giving.

I want you to be the best you can possibly be. I want you to be constantly focused on creating value. I want you to be a wonderful and capable person on whom the light of the world’s approval is constantly shining. This will happen to you when you focus all of your energies on creating value for others. Get started today.

One of the Most Significant Lessons I Have Ever Learned About Work

What You Will Learn When you stop thinking about yourself in business and concentrate on the needs of others, you begin to do well. In business you should never focus on just yourself. Doing a good job should always be your priority.

When you become detached mentally from yourself and concentrate on helping other people with their difficulties, you will be able to cope with your own more effectively. Somehow, the act of self-giving is a personal power-releasing factor.
-Normal Vincent Peale

While I am no expert in the laws of the universe, one thing I’ve consistently noticed is when you stop thinking about yourself in business and concentrate on the needs of others, you begin to do well. I’ve seen this rule repeat itself over and over again, and I believe it is one of the most important keys to success.

When I was in high school I started an asphalt business to earn money for college. I ran this business as a part-time job during school for about two months, one of which was during summer vacation. My sole objective was to make money. There are many entertaining stories I could tell, but to make a long story short, after several weeks I lost a great deal of money, did very poor work, and failed. Miserably. I’d done shoddy work, and there were a lot of people who were upset with me. The only thing I thought of when I did those early jobs was the money, and getting done with the day’s work so I could go and have some fun with friends. Doing a good job wasn’t my top priority. I was.

Because I absolutely had to make money for college, I then began working as a garbage man for $5 per hour. I worked from 5 a.m. to 4 p.m., Monday through Friday for the remainder of the summer in order to save money for tuition and expenses. It was not a fun job and the people I worked with left a lot to be desired. For example, one day the driver of the garbage truck that I was riding on was pulled over by the police and arrested because he’d assaulted a woman the evening before. I was then relegated to another truck, and the driver of this truck told me one day if I was not careful he would “cut me up.”

Even though I’d quit the asphalt business, my phone continued to ring with complaints and demands that I come and repair the poor work I’d done.  Towards the end of the summer, I had saved just over $1,000. I had to use that money to buy supplies to fix the jobs I’d botched. I didn’t have to do the repairs, because I’d already been paid, but my sense of integrity won out. I knew I could not enjoy my time at college knowing I’d left shoddy work behind.

As I was buying supplies, I noticed an older man asking a hardware store clerk questions about various asphalt products. The clerk did not know the answers. I did, so I approached the man and began talking to him. I was surprised by how much I knew about asphalt. I must have talked to the man for over an hour. Despite the fact I was not a talented asphalt contractor, I was somewhat knowledgeable.

As it turned out, this man was the owner of a large apartment complex, and he was planning on having his maintenance man do a large resurfacing project on the property. During our conversation, I told him how much he should be paying for the work, the best materials to buy, and how to ensure his maintenance man did a good job. At the end of the conversation, the man asked me if I would look at his apartment complex to provide him with more tips.

Not even thinking about the money (I was actually interested in the process—and helping this man), I went and looked at the complex and called the man with my recommendations. He asked for my phone number in case he had any further questions. When I hung up the phone, I felt good I’d assisted the man with his questions. Throughout my whole exchange with him, I never expected anything in return.

A day or two later the phone in my house rang again. I was not in the habit of answering the phone because I was always afraid it would be another complaint. I let my mother get it. She told me it was the man from the hardware store. He wanted me to do the work on the apartment complex for him! I could not believe it. He said something to the effect, “You care about the work. You will look out for me. I want you to do this because I know you will do a better job than anyone else I could find.”

To make a long story short, I made over $3,000 on that job, and it was done in just two days. The work turned out perfectly. Over the years, I continued to do a great deal of work for this man, and always delivered top quality.

I learned a lesson that summer, one about selflessness and taking pride in your work. Two summers later, at only twenty years old, I was confident about my work. I did more driveway resurfacing than any other contractor in Michigan. I continued in this business throughout college, law school, and even after graduation. I loved it! I owed that success to the realization that, in business, you can never focus on just yourself. While I eventually sold the asphalt business, I never forgot the lessons I learned, and I still share them as career advice. Today, I believe I owe my home and much of my current motivation to the lessons of selflessness and caring about your work, which the man in the hardware store unknowingly taught me.

You Need to Offer Hope

When I was about 12 years old my stepfather was dying of cancer. The cancer had spread so far in his body there was nothing the doctors could really do anymore. They had already completed several operations, which had removed a lot of the cancer but this didn’t seem to matter. My stepfather had undergone chemotherapy and although he was just in his early 40s he no longer had any hair. Every few hours he would have a bout of throwing up, which would last several minutes. He was doing the best he could to make the most of his remaining days on earth.

What You Will Learn Hope is the element central to most circumstances. When you present your credentials to a prospective employer, you offer hope in the form of your qualifications and experience. Harrison says it is important to convey hope in a job interview. You as a job seeker can offer the recruiter a definite hope to improve his or her situation.

Because he was so sick, I was spending most of my time with him and my mother. One evening we drove an hour outside of Detroit to see a doctor who was going to sell my stepfather a potion, which he represented, would cure the cancer. I remember that the potion was a few thousand dollars at the time, and my parents had to scrape for several days to get the money; however, the potion offered hope. We went out to a farm house in the middle of a large field and inside, a doctor had set up all sorts of test tubes. He seemed to be in the midst of a giant medical experiment that went from his garage, to his kitchen, to his living room. Whatever he was doing, he seemed very serious about it.

Before the purchase was completed, my parents sat down with the doctor and his wife and the doctor told various stories about the miracles that the potion had produced, how it turned around the cancer of various individuals. I was enthusiastic that the potion might do something for my stepfather; however, at the same time I was old enough to understand that this probably would not do the trick. Something about it just did not seem right. After some time my parents gave the man their money. He went into the kitchen and took out several glass jars of the material that he had made, put it into a grocery bag and we were on our way.

Within a few months my stepfather was in the hospital for the last time, where he would ultimately succumb to the cancer. The potion obviously did not work. A few weeks before he finally died my mom came home one evening and told me that the most miraculous thing had happened. She said some people from the church had brought over a small piece of the Cross that Jesus died on–it was no larger than a sliver of wood, and that this might cure my stepfather. She told me very briefly that this piece of the Cross had apparently cured many people, and that we were incredibly lucky to have been allowed to use it until my stepfather got well.

My stepfather never got better and a few weeks later he died.

In thinking back on this episode, what occurs to me is that everywhere around us, no matter what the situation, we are all looking for hope. The man who sold my parents the potion was offering hope. We need never look far to find someone who is offering us hope–hope that our future can look and be different from the way it is now.

A couple of months ago I was in the airport and I could not find anything to read. I was preparing for a fairly long flight and the only book I could find that looked half interesting was Kevin Trudeau’s, Natural Cures they Do Not Want You to Know About. I have been around the block quite a bit and even I was astonished about a particular topic covered by the book, which “they” understandably do not want you to know about: energetic rebalancing:

Frequency generators have been around for decades. Royal Rife was using frequencies in the 1920s and 1930s to cure cancer. Today there are several machines using frequencies to balance out a person’s energy, thus eliminating the energetic frequency of the imbalance or disease. When the frequency of the disease you have has been neutralized, the disease goes away. These machines include the Intero, Vegatest, Dermatron, and others. The most advanced technology that I know of is used by a man who treats many well known celebrities. His technology is so advanced that, no matter where you are in the world, he can have his computerized frequency machine monitoring you twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, constantly balancing the energetic frequencies in your body. I personally have been using the technology for the last seven years, and I have never in that time been sick. When everyone around me had a serious cold, I got the sniffles for about two hours. When all my friends got the flu, I never experienced a single symptom. I highly recommend you read the book Sanctuary to get the full story on this revolutionary technology. Here’s what some others have to say about this program.

Dr. Wayne Dyer, bestselling author of Wisdom of the Ages; lecturer; spiritual teacher:

“In regard to Stephen Lewis, EMC², and the AIM Program: Everything is energy. Everything and everyone has a frequency. Those frequencies that are out of balance with our natural harmony can be identified and removed. I know this to be true. I have seen the Sanctuary process at work. I practice it daily. My entire family participates in the AIM Program, and I have seen wonderful results. This is real, it is transforming, it is true healing, and it is a giant step into the inevitable future where each of us is our own personal, transcendental, and totally enlightened healer. I have found that in my higher self, and so can you. It is available now.”

Linda Gray, actress, Goodwill Ambassador on Women’s Issues to the United Nations:

“I have used this technology for years. It is the most glorious gift that anyone could receive.”

Courtney Cox Arquette, actress:

“I’ve been fortunate enough to have participated in Energetic Balancing for over three years. I don’t know what I would do without it. I don’t believe anyone can afford not to be part of it.”

Now, when I initially read this my thought was that there was probably nothing wrong with this concept of “energetic rebalancing,” and that there is potentially a lot of truth to the practice. For example, I have been in Yoga classes before wherein the instructor spoke about “energy,” and I certainly have felt a lot of energy after a Yoga class. Moreover, I believe that energy is all around us and in this respect what I was reading sounded perfectly sensible. I have no idea who this Kevin Trudeau guy is; however, if energetic rebalancing is getting the thumbs up from the likes of Courtney Cox I figured there must be some truth to it.

I did further research on the practice and tracked down the AIM program on the web. In order to learn more about how to participate in the practice the website required that I fill out a form online and sign up to receive more information. I was perfectly fine with the concept of energetic rebalancing, and was very eager to learn more about it. When the material arrived in the mail I could scarcely believe what I was reading. Apparently the program involves sending the company a copy of your photograph and $1,000. Your picture is then placed on a tray that is connected to a computer somewhere, which sends out frequencies to your picture, supposedly creating all sorts of incredible life improvements for you.

Here is some information from the literature I received:

EMC² performs an initial life force check from your photo. Your facilitator will inform you of the results of the life force check. We place your pictures on the trays which deliver the balancing frequencies.

You immediately begin receiving balancing frequencies which assist in your self-healing.

A letter I received with the material reads:

EMC² does not diagnose, treat, prevent or cure disease. Instead, we provide balancing energies which help to remove your energetic imbalances. Energetic imbalances cause blockages in the flow of “life force”. Blocking the flow of “life force” manifests as difficulties. When you remove your energetic imbalances, you can use your “life force” to create well-being in every area of your life.

More than 40,000 people around the world have personally experienced the extraordinary benefits of the AIM Program of Energetic Balancing. Many have reported amazing changes in their sense of well-being, their ability to enjoy life more fully, to adapt to change, to think more clearly, love more deeply and release unproductive and uncomfortable patterns in their lives. Enroll today to begin your own success story!

Thank you for the opportunity to minister to your energetic needs.

Whether or not this is true is not my interest to discover; however, what I do know is that there are an incredible number of people out there to whom others will gladly give money in exchange for a promise of hope. Note in the disclaimer offered above by EMC², there is no promise of results; there is only a promise of hope to obtain the desired results. All around us there are various people offering hope in one form or another. Some may be honest and some may be deceitful. Some sales people will say practically anything to offer us hope, and this is quite indicative of how important hope is to us.

I had another run in with “energetic balancing” at a seminar a couple of months ago. A man with a giant watch that must have cost him $40,000 was selling something called the QLink for hundreds of dollars. The QLink is a copper wire surrounding a metallic wafer. According to the company website:

In 1994, the National Institute of Health in the United States adopted a new term – biofield – to describe a growing body of research showing a subtle field that permeates and extends beyond the physical body. The biofield is something you’ve probably already noticed: a vital force that animates our bodies and powers our daily lives. When our biofield is out of balance, we’re out of balance. Disease, fatigue, and apathy all reflect a compromised biofield. When something improves our biofield, such as the Q-Link, it can increase our mental and physical performance, reinforce our natural immunity to stress and enhance our sense of well-being.

Every day, our biofields are negatively impacted by flickering computer monitors, irate bosses, cell phones, emotional stress, tabloid television, and traffic jams. We are literally bombarded with frequencies that wear us down. That’s why it is essential to recharge.

Each of us want hope–whether it is for the curing of a disease, or otherwise. The most successful promoters out there in every field are those who offer hope in some form. People imply that using a product or service will provide a future benefit. In most cases, the benefit that people are going to receive is not something that is 100% assured–it is only a possibility or a hope. For example, when you purchase a car, or an oven you know exactly what you are getting. For products or services offering hope, however, you are generally only receiving an implied benefit, and the promise that the product or service will, in conjunction with some applied effort on your part, make you a different person tomorrow from who you are today.

Several years ago a coworker and I went to see a fortune teller in Washington, DC. The most interesting part of seeing the fortune teller was that she offered to burn incense and all sorts of things for me after I left, in order to help me. She stated that this would really change my life. This was the fortune teller’s way of offering hope. People go for this sort of thing all the time and they have probably have been giving fortune tellers money for thousands of years, all because a fortune teller gives hope that something in a person’s life will change.

What does this have to do with your career? One of the most important things you can understand when you are interviewing with a prospective employer and looking for a job in general, is that you need to give your employer hope. You also should do this with your employer while you are employed. The offer to an employer of hope is a very powerful commodity, and it can make a gigantic impact on your success or failure.

When I am interviewing people I am always interested in what happened with their last job and the job before that. There are a lot of people who have been in the working world for 30 years or more, who have had multiple jobs, and seemingly every company they ever worked for went out of business. It is a common story that I have come across numerous times in interviews. While it may be a mere string of coincidences that the last 10+ companies the person worked went out of business, for me I generally do not need to hear any more. Frankly, it scares the heck out of me. Whatever it is that is happening with such persons, they do not come prepackaged with hope. There is something different that they are bringing to the table, in my opinion. These persons may scare away potential employers, because there is an unwritten assumption that they may have done something to cause the issues at their previous companies.

Conversely, there are people who have had several jobs who, each time they joined a company, the company thrived. This is an example of a person who offers a tremendous amount of hope to new employers because there is another unwritten assumption that this person may have done something to assist with the massive growth and success of his or her previous companies.

Your job is to offer hope to any employer or prospective employer–hope that by hiring you their company will improve, that you will make their job much easier, and that you will bring them good luck and success. People who purchase energetic rebalancing, wear QLinks, buy miracle potions for cancer and so forth are all looking for hope and a bit of good luck. So create a perception of yourself as someone who brings good luck and hope. You want it to be implied that good things will come to the employer who hires you. Your presence should mean something to your employer, which will distinguish you from all other employees or prospective hires.

I have often thought about Barbara Bush from the perspective that I wonder what the influence of a woman like her made on her family. Her husband became the President of the United States, her son became President of the United States and another son of hers became Governor of Florida. Now, if she were much younger and let’s say hypothetically you were interviewing her to be a mother or wife, wouldn’t you think that she offered hope? And wouldn’t she be a top candidate based on the successes of the people she has been previously associated with? Of course she would. She would offer a lot of hope.

In Los Angeles there is a huge industry of assistants and others who work for stars doing various tasks. They also typically change jobs between various stars. The pecking order among assistants typically involves working for the most successful stars and being with them while they are having successful careers. If the star starts to have problems that are high profile these assistants often start looking for new jobs. They want to be associated with the star’s success–not failure.

When you walk into any health food store you will see quite a variety of ways that hope is bottled and sold. All sorts of roots and other concoctions are promoted as being able to help you change your life. Tim Ferris, the author of the bestselling book The Four Hour Work Week, basically sold a vitamin he claimed would speed up your brain (the product is called “Brain Quicker”), which is how he was able to ostensibly work four hours a week. You too might be able to work four hours a week if you sold hope.

Your candidacy, in the eyes of employers, needs to allude to the fact that you will bring great things to the employer, without actually overtly stating this. Whatever you say you did for your previous employers and however you helped them will be taken as a possibility for your future employer as well.

One of the most fascinating things for me when I go to New York is watching people on the street. All of them are always rushing, usually with a look of pain or fear on their faces as they rush about. Where are all these people going? They are rushing towards another moment: The future. In fact, most people are constantly rushing towards the future and never slow down or stop. They are more concerned about being somewhere besides where they are. They have hope of arriving at a future that is different and in some ways better than where they are right now.

You need to offer hope to your employer, potential employer and all those you. Then watch the future unfold.

A Success Turn Around Formula That Works

What You Will Learn People face a multitude of problems everyday. You need to possess the ability to cope with problematic situations and issues. The two simplest ways of handling such situations is to take control of the problematic issues and becoming an extrovert. Do not hold yourself back; instead, move out and start walking with life once again.

I did so poorly in ninth grade that I still cannot believe it. I did not fail completely, but a problem was brought to my attention by a school guidance counselor when I got to eleventh grade. I was called into the counselor’s office and was told the following:

“You got all A’s in tenth grade. Your academic performance this year has been amazing. Combining this with your being an officer of the student counsel, and a varsity athlete, you have really turned a corner. The only problem is that you had a 1.7 grade point average in ninth grade. If we were to forget about ninth grade and remove it from your transcript, you would be able to apply to any college you want. However, if we keep ninth grade on your transcript you will not get into good colleges. I suggest you spend an extra year in high school, and we can call your tenth grade year your freshman year on your transcript.”

And so it was. I agreed and my ninth grade performance was completely purged from my transcript. I was a completely different person in ninth grade than I was in tenth grade. I had not been a varsity athlete in ninth grade, nor an officer on the student counsel. I did not perform well academically, and had hung around the wrong crowd; at least one of my friends from ninth grade later went to prison.

What happened? How did I turn a corner so rapidly?

First, a little back story: I had been refused re-admittance into a very prestigious private school for my 8th grade year. This had been a complete shock to me and looking back on it I still do not think it was fair. Nevertheless, the expulsion happened and it had upset me greatly.

The way I came to learn that I was being kicked out was a real shocker as well. The school I had attended had a middle school and a high school, each of which was on its own separate campus. One day the middle school students were all bussed over to the high school to pick their classes for the following year, to walk around the campus and sit in on some classes. The middle school did not let me participate for that day’s special activities, and made me sit alone in a classroom the entire day. I was given no explanation whatsoever. Since I had not been kicked out yet, this really gnawed at me. I did not understand what was going on. Only later would the school formally tell me that I would not be invited to return the following year.

As anyone that has ever been kicked out of a group, dumped in a relationship, or fired from a job knows, this creates a lot of insecurity when moving on to the next group, relationship or job. Not knowing what is going to happen next, whether one will be accepted or rejected and so forth can become a huge source of anxiety.

When I got to ninth grade, I was no different from someone who has been fired from a job and does not know how to cope. My self esteem was extremely low. I wanted to fit in, but I was also very nervous and fearful because of what had happened to me the previous year. I chose friends that were not very intelligent, so that I could feel better about myself and in control of my life. I sat in class not paying attention most of the time, trying to feel and be cooler than the other kids. With the exception of a few classes, I received Ds and failing grades, in direct correlation to the effort I had put into school at the time.

One of the most pathetic moments in my life came when I decided that I needed to start skipping school. School was not fun for me because I was doing so poorly, and I did not feel like I was fitting in the way I wanted to. I used to have to take a bus to school, and the bus would leave before my father and stepmother left for work. I would leave at the same time every day and my parents could see me walk across the street to the bus stop and stand there with the other kids, waiting for the bus.

One day I walked across the street and stood at the bus stop where they could see me, and then hid behind a tree when the bus pulled up. I hid in a nearby bush, nearly frostbitten, watching until my family left for work, then I went back into the house. At that point I would call my mother (my parents were divorced and I lived with my father and stepmother), and she would call the school and say I was sick. For the rest of the day I would sit in front of the television, eat pop tarts and basically do nothing. I slept on a fold out couch each evening, and one day my stepmother came home to get something right after I had come back into the house. I hid under the couch for several minutes while she took a long phone call that she had received. It was a real low point in my life.

By the end of my ninth grade year, I had become addicted to chewing tobacco (my friends were not that classy), and I had started drinking on the weekends. In short, I was turning into a real loser. From the age of 15 until the age of 33 I chewed tobacco all day, every day, and would spit into a cup. It was a disgusting habit that I picked up from hanging out with the sorts of kids I should not have ever associated with in the first place. It was also an extremely hard habit to break.

How does someone undergo a transformation from a loser to a leader, and an academic and athletic success? The change that I eventually underwent was nothing short of remarkable, and looking back, I think I know how I was able to rebuild my life.

It all comes down to control. I gradually learned to control one element after another in my life and in doing so I was, after some time, able to control them all. There are all kinds of problems that occur in our lives, which can leave us feeling confused and in a complete state of chaos. When there is so much going on, and we find we are not in control of any of it, we often end up withdrawing and shutting down. This is exactly what I did in my ninth grade year.

When I look back on everything that happened, I believe that I was able to control the situation by simply focusing on one thing at a time. When I entered tenth grade, I decided that I would pass algebra. One day I sat down and told myself that I would not get an ‘F’ in the class. I would not be repeating it a second time. I told myself I would do everything within my power to control this situation, and I studied algebra religiously every night, never failing to do my homework. I studied and worked as if my life depended upon it. Within a short time, I was earning A’s and B’s in this subject.

I did the same thing with my Spanish class, which required me to memorize words every night. I memorized words and did my homework as if it were the only thing that mattered in my life. Pretty soon I was passing this class instead of failing it. The self esteem I got from passing algebra and then Spanish, and then other courses started helping me improve every single area of my life. This was how I gradually gained control over my own life: I focused on one area of importance at a time.

After the school had not invited me back for the following year, I withdrew. I stopped doing things after school. I limited the number of friends that I had. I tried to limit every input from my surroundings by missing school as much as possible.

When people face problems or become upset and confused, they typically withdraw, just like I did. The person who loses a job and is continually rejected from one job after another withdraws. After withdrawing, the person feels a great sense of loneliness, and the world just keeps passing him or her by. When you see the unhappiest and the most unsuccessful people in the world–the people who are defeated, what you find is that they choose to withdraw. This is how most people cope.

How does one go from a failure to a great success in a quick period of time? How do you turn your life around and do so FAST if you are not reaching your full potential. I propose a simple two-step remedy that works each and every time:

• Get control over the most out-of-control elements in your life, by focusing on one area at a time
• Become as extroverted as you possibly can, and do so quickly

In ninth grade I did not have control over the elements in my life. Specifically, I did not have any kind of plan or focus on doing better in my classes. I did not take responsibility for my own happiness.

A failing grade in algebra is an example of being out of control. By getting control over this one element, I was able to build from there and get confidence and learn to control other elements. This gave me confidence in other areas of my life.

The point of getting control over the most problematical areas of your life is that doing so empowers you to gain control over all the other areas of your life. In my case, starting to get control meant performing better in algebra class. Most of us have areas of our life that are out of control. If we can fix these areas, everything else will fall into place for us.

For example, many people find themselves stuck in bad relationships. They may have a significant other who is unfaithful, and who constantly causes them pain and confusion. They may have a significant other who yells at them for no reason and makes life difficult in general. Or, their best friend may call them all day long just to complain about the world.

Whatever the issue may be, when we are faced with a single element in our life that is out-of-control, everything else in our life becomes much more difficult to handle. We may start to worry about the other person constantly, or to feel insecure all of the time.

The cure for these issues is to identity and to take control over the issue that is out-of-control. It may mean giving our significant other an ultimatum, leaving them, or cutting ties with our friend who complains and makes life difficult for us. Whatever the case may be, once the issue is solved it will result in a great sense of possibility and freedom.

Other people have problems with food or substances that create constant problems for them. Once this one problem is solved the person can very rapidly turn a corner and experience incredible improvement in life. Someone may have a job at which they are criticized and talked down to all the time. Once they address these issues and move into a new job, their entire outlook on life can change for the better.

Have you ever witnessed the incredible transformation of people who have addressed an issue in their lives, like leaving someone harmful to them, stopping abusing a food or substance, getting out of a job that is bad for their self esteem, or addressing another issue? I have. I see it all the time. These decisions can make an incredibly profound difference in the people’s lives.

By the time I was 18 years old or so, despite an impressive record of success and having been admitted to some of the best colleges in the United States, I realized that I did not have a lot of self confidence. I was well liked and fairly popular in school, but I just did not feel like I would ever accomplish much. I felt a sense of lack, an emptiness that I knew would hold me back. I felt nervous around certain people, and knew that if I did not change this I would never reach my full potential. Despite having mastered my studies, despite having been a varsity athlete, despite having been elected to the student counsel and more, I still oftentimes felt as if I were not worthwhile.

Self confidence is a fascinating subject–something that I could write about forever. It is incredibly interesting to me, the power it has to influence the course of our lives. I have seen so many stars like Michael Jackson, Elvis and others die from drugs they were taking to influence their emotional state. I have watched powerful and well known people disintegrate due to not having self confidence. I have seen so many people stand on the sidelines of life and not accomplish everything they were capable of due to a lack of self confidence. A lack of self confidence is one of the main things out there that holds people back. It is an epidemic of sorts, and is incredibly dangerous.

At the age of 18 I decided I needed to fix my self confidence issue because it was out-of-control and limiting me. I purchased every book I could find about self confidence, even purchased a self hypnosis tape that I listened to daily. I studied and read everything I could about self confidence and within a few years I had a ton of self confidence and felt like I could do anything. I have been helped immeasurably in my life by improving my self confidence–it enabled me to get better grades, start businesses and take many, many risks I otherwise would not have. Self confidence can do massive wonders for you too. However, the lesson of this is that I had a weakness and an area of my life that was “out of control” and I made a decision to fix it.

In the ninth grade I found myself literally hiding under a bed, avoiding school and the world. In tenth grade I decided that I needed to do something, to get out of my shell. I decided to run for student counsel, to try out for varsity sports and to get myself out there. I had never run for an office or been a leader in my life. Something inside of me, however, told me that this was something that I absolutely needed to do if I was going to make a change in my life. I took action because it just seemed like the smartest and best thing to do. And it was.

Being extroverted as opposed to being introverted can change your life, and can prod you to great achievement. You need to get out there if you are going to achieve and make the most of yourself in the world. When you are introverted you are always focused on yourself and looking inward. You will not see the world and the people in the world as they are. This will do you no good whatsoever. When you are extroverted you can view the entire world and everything in it. And the only way to improve is to be a part of the world, not separated from it.

The solution to taking charge of your life and your career is simple:

First, find something that is challenging you in your life, over which you can gain control. Then take charge of it. It could be your self esteem, your ability to do a certain task, your health, or your ability to get along with superiors. Whatever is holding you back, the most important thing you can do is grab hold of the issue and control it. Start small if you want, or start with a larger issue. Just start somewhere, because if you do not start somewhere you will get nowhere.

Second, step outside of yourself and become as extroverted as you can. This will force you to stop focusing on yourself and to interact with and participate in the world around you. You need to be a participant in life and the world in order to reach your potential. If you are not participating in the world then you are holding yourself back and will not reach your potential. What is that you say? You are naturally introverted and have a hard time being extroverted? Well, how much has this helped you? Chances are, it has not. Find me someone who is happy and successful and I will show you someone who is able to be extroverted. The more extroverted a person is, with few exceptions, the more happy and successful they are.

This success formula has worked for everyone I have ever counseled. It has worked for me and it will work for you too.

Help and Promote Expansion

What You Will Learn When companies and organizations grow, it indicates that the organization is being well received in the world. In order to expand, an organization, business, or government generally needs to have something that is in demand. If the business meets the demand for what it has to offer, the company will grow stronger and will be more likely to survive. Constantly do everything in your power to find and create demand in order to spur expansion. In business, religion and politics nothing is ultimately more important than being on the side of expansion – not contraction.

Whenever I speak to other business owners and ask them how they are doing, one thing I hear over and over is the following: “Things are going well and we are expanding.”

In fact, I hear this statement so often it is difficult to believe. It is as if the people believe that the only sign of a successful business is if it is expanding.

The funny thing about this is that I get this response even when I know the opposite is really what is occurring. Companies state they are expanding even when they are laying people off. Today I read a press release from a company that was in the process of mass layoffs and it mentioned that the company was still in the process of growing and expanding. I read the following recent story about layoffs at another company:

Word has been spreading that there were mass layoffs …

CenterNetworks has the story, saying they’ve received several unconfirmed reports that there have been mass firings at the company’s New York City offices. The story also points to several comments on Twitter, including some from an employee who posted comments from the conference room where the layoff notices were given.

Product Manager Derek Tumolo also posted on Twitter that at least eight people were fired, but other rumors are suggesting the total is much higher. There also are reports of visibly angry people on the street and security guards stationed outside the company’s headquarters.

Further, a comment from “Tucker” left on Cheezhead’s own article notes, “Not sure if this story still holds true. Heard that …. massive layoffs just this morning. Seems really contradictory to what they say in the Crain’s piece.”

We’re keeping our ears open for more official information and will update this post accordingly.

UPDATE: After requesting a confirmation or denial of the mass layoffs, we received the following statement from Lou Casale [COMPANY NAME REDACTED]…:

While demand for our service remains strong and we continue to grow, we regularly assess our business and the economic environment around us to ensure we remain a healthy, strong, growing company. Given the current economic environment, we have made some adjustments, which includes a reduction in workforce. [COMPANY NAME REDACTED] is taking these steps to position the company for long term. http://www.cheezhead.com/2009/04/15/layoffs-at-theladders/

The company at issue above is a good company. It is just like most companies in that it is trying to portray constant growth in the face many companies face from time to tiem.

There is something about the concept of growth that is incredibly important to people, which is why people talk about it on an ongoing basis. Even when companies are laying people off they talk about the fact that they are expanding. This entire mentality seems extremely strange to me–that we are so focused on growth and how large an organization is, as a measure of its success.

A couple of years ago our company had over 750 employees. The managers in the company seemed very excited about the number of employees we had and the fact that we were growing so rapidly. Interesting to me is the fact that at that time the company was not all that profitable–not with so many employees. In fact, many companies and their managers seem to believe it is more important to be expanding and growing than to be profitable and to have a company that runs like a tight ship and is built for long-term stability.

We are programmed to believe that expansion is the most positive thing and that not expanding is equivalent to dying and contracting. Here are some instances where we see evidence of this mentality:

• Religions talk about the fact that they are expanding and take great pride in this.
• Companies talk about their expansion, and take great pride.
• Groups talk about how they are getting new members, and are therefore becoming stronger.

There is a belief out there that if something is expanding it must be good, and if it is not expanding there must be something wrong with it.

Businesses are generally either growing or contracting. It is very rare that any organization just remains the same as it is. And businesses that seek to remain level are usually really contracting. Expansion is always considered the most positive thing. We expect companies and organizations to be growing because this indicates that the organization is being well received in the world.

In order to expand, an organization, business, or government generally needs to have a product, ideology, or something else that is in demand. Providing something that is in demand brings the opportunities to expand. There must be at least some positive public response to what an organization is offering, and due to this positive public response, more people are interested in joining, purchasing, converting and so forth. There are numerous products, organizations and ideologies out there that are very good but that, for whatever reason, have been unable to expand.

I spend a lot of time in Malibu, California and in my time there I have had the opportunity to meet numerous extremely wealthy people–people who live in homes that are worth $25,000,000+, fly around on private jets and who have vacation homes all over the world. Most of these people sell some sort of product, service, or ideology. It is not just that they sell a product, service, or ideology, but that they have been able to dramatically expand this product, service or ideology.

The service might be a little pizza, hair shampoo, a restaurant, a tequila, it might be a type of radio station, it could be a religion (my next door neighbor has his own religion), beauty product….It could even be a law firm. Whatever the product, service, religion, or ideology is, the person has managed to EXPAND its reach to more locations and more people throughout the world. It is rare, for example, that the people I meet who are super rich, with their private jets and so forth–have a product that is just sold in Los Angeles, or even just in California. Instead, these people have created a way to market and sell their product throughout the country and, in most cases, the world.

In most cases it is not the product itself that is that great, it is the ability of the entrepreneur(s) or business owner(s) to take a small local demand and expand it to a larger market. This is where the real skill lies. I like to spend time in malls because inside of malls you can see the products and services that have managed to expand. In most cases these products or services have originated in large cities like Los Angeles and New York. The reason I think this is the case is because rent is extremely expensive in larger cities, and businesses need to do their work extremely well, efficiently and so forth in order to survive in these markets. Those that are able to survive in the largest markets are most often the services, products and so forth that are best able to deliver the service using very well executed organizational methods.

It is the ability to expand that product, service, or ideology that is most significant, not the product itself. Anyone can open a steak house that serves steaks and salads. Not everyone, however, can open a Ruth’s Chris Steak House, with outlets all over the country. Expanding requires tremendous organization and skill. A budding religion cannot expand unless its leaders have incredible organizational and management skills. A service cannot expand unless its leaders have organizational skills. It is the ability of the company to organize its product and service that is most significant in business, politics and life. If the business organizes properly to meet the demand for what it has to offer, the company will grow stronger and will be more likely to survive. If it does not organize properly to meet the demand, then it is likely that it will die off.

Countries are another example of organizations seeking to expand and grow. So are groups that support ideologies such as democracy, socialism, Islamic fundamentalism, Christianity, Communism, Mormonism and so forth. Through expansion each group believes it can increase its influence, and therefore its power. Wars are generally fought by groups seeking to expand their influence. Wars are generally won when the ideology that the war seeks to expand is met with enthusiasm by the people the war is against. When the ideology is met with indifference, or hostility the war is generally lost.

• It would be very difficult for an Islamic nation to take over the United States because the majority of the United States is not Muslim and most people have no interest in that ideology.
• It would be next to impossible for Americans to go into a Muslim country, for example and conquer it. The “American ideology” simply would not sell in a predominantly Muslim country, just as the “Islamic ideology” would not sell in the United States.

Each of these hypothetical examples could be viewed as an attempt to “sell the wrong product in the wrong place.”

If, however, there was a huge demand for Islam in the United States due to the ideology being accepted by most Americans, then it might be relatively easy for an Islamic country to take over the United States. Back when the British were colonizing many countries, before the British government would arrive on the new land, Christian missionaries often showed up and converted people in the country to the new religion. When the British government eventually showed up ,the people were much easier to colonize and to win over, because they had already converted to a common religion. Islam, Catholicism, capitalism, democracy and other methods are all ideologies that have generally expanded and been successful in their expansion in cases whereby the product/ideology was appealing to the audiences that they expanded into. Russia, for example, very quickly converted to capitalism when it became an option. The people were ready for this shift, and they wanted it. It would be very hard to make a comparable switch in the United States over to communism, for example, since the substantial majority of the people in the population are not ready for and do not want it.

In Nazi Germany when the Germans marched into some of the first countries they took over, they were met with little resistance. The territories conquered arguably were people of “Germanic” descent and they shared similar social philosophies with the Nazis. It was only when Germany attempted to conquer areas that did not share its political or social philosophies (such as France), that it started to get into serious trouble. Without an audience interested in what Germany was “selling”, the Germans were destined to lose the war. So too was it with the Romans, the Ottoman empire, and other governments and ideologies throughout history that have come up against the wall in their attempts to expand into places where they were not welcome. So too was it with the United States in Vietnam and in Iraq.

When any organization or ideology is expanding there will always be forces in the market that want to slow down the expansion, or to stop it completely. These forces are generally competitors and others who are accustomed to working under one ideology, or business model, and are trying to protect their territory. Therefore, you will see:

• Dictatorships attacking signs of democracy.
• Communist countries attacking democratic countries.
• Small businesses attacking large businesses as impersonal.
• Large businesses attacking small businesses as inefficient.
• Companies that make handmade products attacking those that mass produce them.
• Companies which use “natural” ingredients attacking those that do not.
• Organizations that employ well trained workers attacking those that do not.

Organizations and individuals are constantly doing everything in their power to find and create demand in order to spur expansion. At the same time there are always forces out there trying to slow the expansion down.

The entire world of business, politics and religion is a tension between expanding and contracting. Certain things expand and others are continually contracting. When something is expanding it is growing and when something is contracting it is considered to be dying. If a product or ideology is considered to be beneficial and in demand then it will be poised for expansion. If a product is not considered to be beneficial then it will not be poised for expansion.

In business, companies are continually reinventing themselves in an attempt to come out with products and services that are considered more beneficial. Religions are also continually reinventing themselves to appear beneficial. The Catholic Church, for example, has made many changes in the 20th century in an attempt to continue to appear relevant. There is a giant struggle amongst religious groups–and many types of organizations, between being relevant to people and not being relevant to people.

What does all of this mean to your career and life? In business, religion and politics nothing is ultimately more important than being on the side of expansion–not contraction. Employers, religions and others all want people around them who are going to help them expand.

• When you see the résumés of strong managers they often discuss how they “grew” a division.
• Candidates for a Chief Executive Officer, Chief Operating Officer and so forth always talk about how they have “grown” a department, for example.
• The résumés of sales people always mention how a candidate has increased sales and performance.
• Certain professions, such as public relations, advertising, marketing and so forth, deal with creating positive perceptions of given products or services so they can expand. A candidate for a marketing job might emphasize the part that his work played in helping a company or product expand.

Employers and all organizations are interested in those who can help them expand and grow. Everything for employers is about expansion. Everything for most religions and political parties is about expansion. Life is about expansion, and to most of us the very ideas of expansion and growth seems necessary to our survival.

True expansion only occurs when there is a “genuine” demand for the product or ideology seeking to expand; however, many people can create demand for a product or service by virtue of their skill. However, this is generally “artificial demand”, which never lasts and does not really “hold” for the long term. For example, after September 11, 2001 General Motors sold a ton of cars with its “Zero Percent Interest” and “Employee Pricing” sales, which were advertised aggressively. While the public may not have been as enthusiastic about General Motors cars compared to other cars on the market, GM was able to expand in a quick and short-term manner, with aggressive advertising. In order to expand, most businesses must keep the phone ringing and people coming through the door. Advertising is one way they accomplish this goal.

If you go to any town anywhere in America you will probably see a billboard for a personal injury attorney somewhere on the road. It is like this in every city and town in the United States, and I have yet to encounter a decent size town where I do not see this. Some of these attorneys who advertise on billboards are excellent attorneys; however, many of them are not. Despite being horrible attorneys, these are the most recognizable attorneys in the cities and towns in which they live, and they are therefore considered the top attorneys. It is all because of the “artificial demand” they have created for their companies through use of the media.

Good services are easily able to expand and to hold their expansion. For example, McDonald’s is a fast food restaurant that people seem to really enjoy. This fast food restaurant went from one location to tens of thousands over the years, and very few of them have closed down. When the business expanded into new markets it discovered there was a genuine demand for its product. Other restaurants that attempted such expansion may not have been so lucky. The reason for this is related to (1) the popularity and demand of the product (often based on a perception of value), and/or (2) the ability of the restaurant to manage its expansion.

Business is about expansion. Expansion can occur when the product is so good that it catches on virally (such as Google did–in a very short time), or it can occur through advertising, whereby the perception of demand and value can be artificially boosted (as in the GM sale after September 11 example). Your job, in every company, organization and so forth that you will ever work for is to be on the side of expansion. The more you can contribute to expansion and growth the more job security you will have. The more you can show a potential employer that you can help them expand, the more likely it is you will be hired. One of the most important keys to securing and holding a job is being on the side of and assisting with expansion. The more you can assist with expansion and can be seen as someone who will make this happen, the better career you will have.

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