Always Be Willing to Readjust
About a year ago, I was sitting in my office and a registered letter arrived for me. The letter was from a large financial institution saying they could no longer lend me funds to provide student loans, and they would stop lending to me within the next four weeks. I had grown my student loan company into a large business over the previous few years and was doing hundreds of millions of dollars in loans annually.
From my office, I looked out and saw at least 10 very nice people whom I liked a great deal sitting at their desks. I looked across the street and saw the 15,000 square foot building the company recently purchased for almost $7 million for the student loan company. Across that street, at that very moment, teams of contractors were working to build a room to house a server farm and a $250,000 phone system. At one time, I’d imagined the student loan company would employ over 500 people in our California office alone. This did not include our offices in Utah and India. The company appeared to have a very bright future.
In that moment I sat and observed our bustling Los Angeles headquarters: the FedEx man was talking to the receptionist as he dropped off the day’s student loan applications, employees were coming out of the kitchen, and a Xerox salesperson was in the lobby, ready to discuss adding features to a $700,000 high speed printer we had recently purchased to send letters to prospective borrowers – we had recently purchased a warehouse and filled it with all sorts of printing equipment, so we could send sales letters to millions of people around the country.
As I watched all of this, the world seemed to slow down. I looked out into the office and saw so many happy people. I almost felt like crying because I knew their lives were about to change.
I’d heard about the credit crisis in the United States and was seeing it firsthand. I knew the economy was in serious trouble, but I did not realize how bad it would be. I could not believe our funding for providing student loans was about to dry up. For days, I called around to various financial institutions all over the country and they, too, had no money to loan. In one case, I set up a meeting with an important banker, and on the day of the meeting he called to cancel because he had just been fired.
All around me I started seeing bankers and others with whom I had developed relationships in the past drop off the face of the earth. Pretty soon I realized there was no money for me to lend. Every day I heard about another student loan company failing.
In reality, this story is not about me, it is about you. There is something you need to understand about your job and the work you do right now: it could change at any moment.
-Your responsibilities and daily duties could end just like that.
-Businesses can end just like that.
-Your job can end just like that.
Whatever you are doing right now could come to a crashing halt. You never know when this may happen, but it does, and it happens a lot.
One Saturday I was driving through Agoura Hills and Thousand Oaks, California, on my way to look at some tropical fish. There are giant office parks in those cities that were built by Countrywide Mortgage for their operations. Many of these gleaming, new buildings now stand abandoned. No one works in them now, whereas probably not even a year earlier thousands of people had been reporting to work each day in these buildings. Who knows where those people went? There must have been countless families whose lives took a dramatic turn for the worse when those jobs disappeared.
When I learned about the dramatic shifts occurring in our student loan business, I did what I believed was the right thing, and tried to transfer everyone into other roles. The student loan business is similar to the mortgage business in that during its boom made lots of money. In fact, people with no more than a high school degree could have made over $100,000 a year giving people simple advice over the phone about refinancing their loans.
Many of the employees I’d hired who’d earned so much money during the student loan boom had never earned more than $12 an hour before they joined us. For some of them, it was their first job. I had employees who were 18 years old who were making well over $60,000 a year. After several days of searching for alternative funding sources, I set out to save everyone’s job in my student loan business. Together with a few other managers, I found alternative positions within our companies, with upward potential, which took advantage of people’s various skills. I announced these changes one Tuesday afternoon.
By the end of the day, more than 50 percent of the student loan representatives had simply quit and walked off the job. By the end of the week, more than 80 percent were gone. By the end of the month, only a few were left. Eight weeks later, only two were left. Those two are now gone. The two who lasted the longest were given different jobs; however, they never applied themselves in their new jobs. It was as if they refused to learn something new. Their jobs and responsibilities changed dramatically, and as soon as this occurred, they gave up and left.
As people walked out the door, they made statements like, “I made $82,000 last year. Why should I risk making only $40,000 next year?” Incredibly, several of these people could not find better jobs elsewhere. One of our highest-performing student loan employees now works for minimum wage at a Dairy Queen. Had she stayed with us, she would have continued to do very well, only in another job.
The point I am trying to make is that you need to be ready for change in your job. Your job can change in a heartbeat. People should never hold on to the past. You need to be ready for the future, and whatever shifts it may bring.
I had a fascinating discussion one Saturday night about successful people. A friend and I were talking about billionaires like Kirk Kerkorian, Ron Burkle, and others. One point I found quite interesting was the most successful people usually find opportunity when the market is down. There are a lot of opportunities to seize when businesses and people seem to be at their weakest.
In the events surrounding our student loan company, I did not want to let a single person go, and had hoped they all would stay. I created opportunities of which they could have taken advantage. Whoever you are, it’s likely at some point you will work for an employer who’s facing dire economic conditions, and is forced to change.
I have some advice for you. Walk into your boss’s office and tell him or her you are ready to change with the company and do whatever it takes to keep working there. Find opportunities where others see obstacles. There are opportunities everywhere if you are ready to grab them.
If You Really Want Success, Go through Unpeopled Ground
What You Will Learn
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In The Art of War, Sun Tzu says, “To go one thousand lives without fear, go through unpeopled ground.” To me, this means when you go forward, you should move through open space that is undesired or uncontested. When you move in this way, your movement will not be challenged by others and you will experience success.
Several years ago, I was an asphalt tar contractor in Detroit doing very, very dirty work. It was strange to me this work was so profitable and so easy. Literally no one was interested in doing the job. One of my main projects involved heating up tar to 250+ degrees in a cauldron that I towed behind my truck, using a crack router to clean out cracks on roads and parking lots, and filling the cracks with sand and hot tar.
When I was working for a federal judge in Michigan, I got a call from one of my customers, Tony Randazzo, who owned a giant apartment subdivision in Rochester Hills, Michigan. I’d filled all of the cracks in the apartment subdivision, charging less than half the going rate for this work, giving Tony an outstanding deal. For the next six months, Tony sent me a check every month to pay for the work I had done. Those checks ended up being more than I was receiving for my work with the judge each month. Keep in mind getting the job with the judge had required me to go to college and law school, where I was expected to do well. In addition, I had to get up at 7 a.m. and go to work for the judge five days a week. I also had to deal with office politics and coworkers.
This inconsistency really got me thinking.
When I started practicing law after my clerkship, I frequently saw many coworkers working all night. Most of the people I practiced law with were doing the work just for the money. They had all gone to good law schools, which had required years of hard work. Each year, the law firms I worked for would fly around to law schools and interview and hire scores of hungry law students. There was literally an endless supply of lawyers willing to do the work I was doing. I loved the practice of law, but the fact is there are a LOT of people who want to do it.
When I was working with my hot tar kettle in Detroit, Michigan, I was in serious competition with really only two or three people within a 100-mile radius. In some areas, I was in competition with no one. I literally drove around in a truck playing with fire and tar and listening to classic rock on headphones. I was doing the work I loved and I was paid thousands of dollars a day. Keep in mind working with hot tar is dangerous and something that is scary to a lot of people. You need to know how to keep the tar heated properly and prevent it from catching on fire. Often, it’s very hot outdoors and there are other dangers. However, when I did this work there was practically no competition, and I loved it.
There are tons of people motivated to work blue-collar jobs in Michigan and, at the time, auto plants and suppliers were constantly laying off workers. There were plenty of people who needed work. Nevertheless, I still had very little competition. Had I not chosen to become a lawyer, and continued to operate in this particular niche, I would have made a much better living than most lawyers, and I wouldn’t have been competing with an endless supply of competitors. I would even have had a couple of months off every year since it is impossible to apply the tar when there is snow on the ground!
I was so successful at this job because no one else was interested in doing it – a characteristic common to many good jobs.
In the legal arena, where I used to work, there were so many people interested in competing with me. Inside law firms there was even competition to see who could get the most work! In large cities, perhaps one in every 100 people who start at a large law firm will make partner some day. When these people make partner, they face even greater pressure to get business, and many end up losing their jobs once they have made partner.
If you are experiencing problems in your career, or if you feel like it is extremely hard for you to get ahead, my bet is you’re in a profession or a geographic location where you’re simply competing with too many people. One of the best pieces of advice I can give is to find a place where there is no competition for what you do, and go there. Or, change professions completely and compete in something else. The less competition you have, the better.
One of the easiest ways to get ahead is to move to a market where there is no competition for what you do. For example, say you are an attorney on Wall Street, practicing corporate law, and you just lost your job. You have outstanding skills that are going to be in demand somewhere. You could really blossom if you were in the right atmosphere. Go to a small or medium-sized city where there is less competition! If you go there, you will likely be appreciated more. Your skills will take you further and you will get ahead faster. You will be considered unique for your skills and not just one of hundreds or thousands with the exact same skills. Your hard work and background will make you special and you will stand out.
There are immense benefits to relocating to different geographic regions, or working in a smaller firm or company. Your skills will likely be unique and appreciated and you will not simply be a commodity. Your self confidence will likely improve, and as your self confidence improves you will likely continue to get better and better at what you do. You may even become famous in your field. When you’re in an atmosphere where you’re surrounded by people competing for the same advancement, you could be replaced at any moment.
For example, say you went to Harvard Law School. In New York City, you can find multiple attorneys who went to the same school working in virtually every building in the city. They are everywhere. In Bay City, Michigan, where I clerked for a federal judge, however, I don’t think I ever encountered a single attorney who went to Harvard Law School.
An attorney from Harvard Law School in Bay City, Michigan, would be a complete star in my opinion. He or she would be sought out by businesses and others just based on where he or she went to law school. The political establishment of the city might even try to get him or her nominated for a local seat in the United States Congress. I am not kidding. If the attorney worked on Wall Street for a few years, local companies and businesses would probably consider him or her close to an oracle. The attorney could charge practically anything he or she wanted and would have more business than he or she could handle. He or she would have a large house, probably do things like investing in real estate on the side, and be prosperous in all respects. The attorney would have a great life in Bay City, Michigan.
Conversely, this laid off attorney could sit around in New York looking for a job for months, perhaps. He or she might be living in a relatively small apartment in New York, spending his or her days at Starbucks reading the paper and screwing around on a laptop, exchanging emails about nothing and ostensibly looking for a job. The attorney might become depressed and start going to therapy a couple of times a week. He or she might start writing a book and never complete it. Ultimately, he or she might get a job with a small boutique firm in New York after six months or so, and might only work there for a few months before the firm went out of business.
I hate to sound so bleak, but I have seen scenarios like this so many times it makes me sick. You need to compete where your skills are most valued, and this often means a change of location. When you are competing where your skills are most valued, you feel better about yourself. I think this is the smartest thing anyone can do.
If I were interested in being a United States senator at the age of 30, I would move to South Dakota, not California. It is much easier to achieve your dream in areas where there is less competition.
The people who have the most secure jobs and continually prosper year after year typically do not have a lot of people competing with them. Did you know that morticians make pretty good livings? It is not too hard to find a job as a mortician, and people are always dying. There are lots of jobs to which you can adapt your skills, which will give you security year after year. These are the sorts of jobs you should seek.
There are jobs in every industry that no one else is all that excited about. I wonder if any doctors really go to medical school saying their dream is to become a proctologist. My feeling is they probably realize somewhere along the line isn’t a lot of competition in that specialty, and choose it for that very reason.
Sun Tzu’s advice to “go through unpeopled ground” can change your life and career if you really take the time to think it through. Unless you are confident you can win, you are often best served by pursuing your career in areas and specialties where there is less competition.
This is one of the easiest ways to succeed and it is something far too many people fail to realize.
Play the Game by Your Own Rules
What You Will Learn
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We essentially have two choices in our lives. First, we can be average. We can let the people around us mold us, and we can let society marginalize us, as we follow its so-called norms. Alternatively, we can take a stand, choose not to play by the rules, and simply do things in a way that makes sense to us.
Applying this philosophy and career advice to your job search is a tremendously successful strategy, especially in a challenging economic environment.
Let me share with you a story about one of the most incredible men I have ever known. He changed the rules of the game in his life. He drew a line in the sand and decided he was going to live the sort of life he wanted. He may have been someone just like you. Whether you are in a blue-collar job or a white-collar career, you will identify with this man.
I grew up in a suburb of Detroit called Grosse Pointe. From the time I was 18 until I was 27, I owned an asphalt sealing business. Each summer, I would go door to door, visiting literally every house in Grosse Pointe, trying to sell my asphalt-related services. At the time, most of the people who lived in Grosse Pointe were very conservative. Many of them worked for auto companies, or suppliers of auto companies.
Once a year, I would call on a man named Ken, who lived in one of the largest homes in Grosse Pointe. He wore expensive, flashy shirts from Italy, and ridiculous looking Swiss watches. He also had a collection of Ferraris. When I passed by his house I would always notice him sitting in his driveway, revving a Ferrari, or walking around his backyard pool in a robe, or smoking a cigar while taking a leisurely walk. Ken always seemed to be enjoying himself, almost as if he were in a perpetual state of bliss. He appeared to have a kind of fantasy life.
Eventually, Ken and I became friends, and I gradually learned all about his business. His story was incredible to me. He’d gone to all the right schools, earned an MBA, and gone into the banking business. He’d worked for a prestigious bank for several years and enjoyed his experience. However, at some point he realized he would never be able to achieve the life he wanted by staying where he was.
One day, he was having the windows cleaned at his house. He observed that the two men from the window cleaning company showed up, cleaned his windows in 15 minutes, and left. They did this three times a year, and each time they billed Ken $125 through the window company. He saw the cleaners went to each house in the neighborhood when they did their tri-annual cleanings. Ken figured the men doing this work probably did not make more than $8 an hour. At that point, he realized there was a lot of money in window cleaning.
Despite being a highly paid banker, Ken started cleaning windows in his neighborhood each weekend. You can imagine how people must have looked down on him–someone from a blue-blooded background now doing this sort of blue-collar work. But Ken decided this was what he wanted to do. Pretty soon, he was making more money cleaning windows each weekend than he made each week at the bank. Eventually Ken quit his job.
Ken was soon making over $1 million a year with a window cleaning crew of six guys going door-to-door around Grosse Pointe. But more importantly, Ken was the person he wanted to be. He did not have the same stress he had when he was a banker, even though he took a seemingly ridiculous risk with his career, going from prestigious banker to window washer.
When Ken became the person he wanted to be, he did not worry about what other people said. How many of us have ever had the courage to do this in our own lives?
Do you want to be a musician, an artist, or an actor? How about an auto mechanic or a sports coach? You need to follow your heart and pursue whatever it is you want to do. When you do this, everything in your life changes. I cannot count the number of people who stepped out of the rat race and did exactly what they wanted to do with their lives, and have found not only happiness, but also great success. And, the rewards don’t always have to be financial. The most important ones you receive may be spiritual. These are the rewards that change you from the inside out.
Discover What You Do Best: We All Have Something
One day, when I was about 13 years old, I decided to spend the afternoon with another boy I knew from middle school. Spending the afternoon together essentially meant we would be riding our bikes around, visiting various stores and other kids we knew who were our age. We might also go into a convenience store or two and play some arcade games.
What You Will Learn
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The guy I was spending time with, Greg, had never been particularly good at anything, as far as I knew. His dad was a plumber and his mother was very religious, and she spent a lot of time lecturing Greg on spiritual matters. He was not all that popular in school, not all that great of a student, and not all that good at athletics. In sum, he really had no distinguishing characteristics.
In fact, on that day I believe I was spending time with Greg mostly because I had nothing in particular to do. I had friends whom I considered far more interesting because they knew girls I liked, for example. I do not think Greg even knew any girls. I did not know a lot about Greg and neither did anyone else at my school. The boy was also considered a little strange because, due to his religion, his parents never let him take medicine. There were some other things that his religion required, which made Greg seem a little off in the eyes of other students. I think he may have had a health problem or two due to not having been able to take medicine while growing up.
We started our day around 11 in the morning. We went to a 7-11 and got some snacks and played video games. We rode our bikes to a mall and looked at tennis shoes at a Foot Locker. We had lunch at the food court and talked about the girls at our school. We then attempted to ride our bikes around town to see if a few people we knew might be at home. None of them were.
As I spent time with him, I got the sense that Greg was a little depressed. He did not stand up tall when he walked and he looked down when he spoke. He did not sound very animated and was not all that interesting. He often criticized other people. Notwithstanding this, I came to realize that he was actually a pretty nice person and very likable in many ways. I enjoyed his company a lot that day.
As an aside, I saw Greg several years later, after his life had changed, and he was a completely different person. He was extremely nice, more confident and likable, and he asked me lots of questions about myself. He was not the same person I had known years before.
Around four in the afternoon, we rode our bikes by a store that sold musical instruments, specifically guitars and drums. I had taken guitar lessons at the store recently and wanted to stop by to say hello and see if my teacher was there. When we walked into the store, the clerks and cashiers immediately sprung to life. All of them crowded around Greg. They knew exactly who he was, and they started asking him if he wanted a “private room” in which to play. I did not even know that Greg played an instrument, and I do not think anyone at school knew this either. Greg sheepishly said “okay” and the storekeepers took us back to a room that had a set of drums in it.
Greg began playing the drums, and it was among the most amazing things I have ever seen. He played with an incredible level of passion and skill, and in a window outside of the private room a huge group of people started to gather. I could see one of the shopkeepers on the phone looking into the room, and he appeared to be shouting into the receiver:
“He’s here right now–in room ‘A.’ Yes, I’m serious!”
After 10 minutes had passed, there were at least 15 people or so who were completely mesmerized, watching Greg play the drums. He had started singing along while he played. Greg was so talented that I became uncomfortable. I felt like I was in the presence of someone quite famous.
As Greg played, his entire disposition changed. He was extremely self-confident and he sat up straight. He hypnotized those around him. He was enthusiastic. He smiled. He was in a different zone. He was a completely different person while playing. Apparently, drums were not even his main instrument. He played guitar!
That was the last time I ever spent time alone with Greg. At the end of that school year, I transferred to another school. I heard a year later that Greg had gotten a recording contract in Los Angeles. Greg was so talented at what he did that he was sponsored, and he was moved to Los Angeles the second he was discovered. After 25 years, I looked up Greg and saw that he had a very successful music career and was internationally famous. You never know what people are capable of or who they will become.
Each of us has some sort of innate skill that we are blessed with. You have a skill. I have a skill. We all have a skill.
I wonder deep down what would have happened to Greg if he had never been allowed to play an instrument and that skill had never come out. What would have happened if he had been told what to be and his true uniqueness had never been allowed to manifest? This would have been a real tragedy, and he would never have become the person he was capable of being.
I know that if I had ever tried to pursue music at least one of my parents would have made fun of me. I would have been told that music was for “sissies” or “people who cannot get real jobs.” I am sure you have had dreams that other people have criticized. I can think of numerous dreams I have had that teachers, parents, friends, and others made fun of, and which I never pursued when I was younger.
What are you good at that needs to be shared with the world? What is your skill?
One of the greatest things about the United States is that this country is based on the idea that we can discover and make the most of our personal gifts and strengths. Under ideologies like communism and fascism, people are expected to do whatever the government tells them, and to be the person the government tells them to be. But here you can be exactly who you want to be. There is absolutely no barrier between you and your dreams.
Many people never realize who they are or what their potential is. When I look around at my own life and the lives of others, I see and hear the reasons for this:
-We are told to fit in, not to stand out.
-We are encouraged to play by the rules in order to have a stable future, rather than to challenge the rules and seek out the unique lives we want.
-We are led to believe that it is more important to be popular than to stand out and be productive.
-We are told to have goals we can meet rather than goals that challenge us.
Negative and limiting messages coming from peers, parents, bosses, coworkers, television, books, and so forth only limit us and prevent us from being the people we are capable of being, and from being the people we really want to be. My career advice is to follow what we are capable of being not the limits others give us.
I want you to be the person you are capable of being. What comes naturally and effortlessly to you? What are you best at? What makes you happy?
Each and every one of us has something that we are exceptional at. We are in a world where we can be whomever we choose to be. This is what you need to do. You need to discover who this person is and you need to be this person. There is a world out there which offers constant happiness, security, and enjoyment. This world comes into being when you begin doing what you love and are talented at.
This is what you need. When you discover this, your job and life will be enjoyable and you will do well. Concentrate on your strengths and find and be the person you want to be. God gave you certain talents for a reason. You have an obligation to use them, and to make the most of your life.
Look for the Cause
What You Will Learn
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Everything that occurs in our world and to us has a cause. The cause may not be immediately obvious, but it is always there waiting to be found. The result of anything you see always contains its cause, and everything that happens is the result of either good or bad seeds that have been planted at some point in time:
- If some people are living in poverty and alone, spend some time with them and you will understand why they are in their situation. They are most likely in the position they are in not just (1) due to bad things that have happed to them, which were caused by other people (i.e., bad seeds), but (2) due to bad things that they themselves have done (i.e., planting of bad seeds), which have come back to haunt them. The condition they are living in is the growth that has occurred due to the bad seeds they have planted.
- If some people are living in opulence and are surrounded by people who love them, spend some time with them and you will understand why. They are most likely in the position they are in not just (1) due to good things that have happened to them, which were caused by other people (i.e., good seeds), but (2) due to good things they themselves have done (i.e., planting of good seeds) which have grown the persons rich and full lives. The condition they are living in is the growth that has occurred due to the good seeds they have planted.
- If some people have good careers and are happy in what they do, spend some time with them and you will understand why. They are most likely in the position they are in (1) due to good things that have happened to them caused by other people, (such as getting accepted into good schools, gaining immense favor and support of friends and family) and (2) due to good things they have done, such as working hard and making valuable contributions to their work and to others. These people’s lives are a reflection of the good seeds they have planted.
- If some people are unhappy and having bad careers, spend some time with them and you will understand why. They are most likely in the position they are in (1) due to bad things that have happened to them caused by other people, (such as not getting accepted into good schools, not gaining the favor of friends and family) and (2) due to the bad things they have done such as slacking off and making poor, half-hearted contributions to their work and to others, that is not part of their lives. These persons’ lives are a reflection of the good seeds they have planted.
Each outcome has its own unique cause. A person becomes President of the United States because of something he or she did or caused. Likewise someone becomes incarcerated because of something he or she did or caused. Just as every creation that ever comes to fruition was once merely an idea, each type of person that you see in the world–a happy person, an angry person, a powerful person, or a weak person–has a unique cause, a seed that has brought the person into his or her state of being.
It follows that if everything we see has a cause, it might be more valuable to study and understand the cause more than the effect. Once you understand the cause you have the ammunition to make better decisions in your career and your life. There are far fewer things more important than being able to understand why something is the way it is. If someone you work with is very successful you should seek to understand the cause. If someone you work with is unsuccessful you should also seek to understand the cause. The more you understand the causes of things, the more you can make causes work for you and avoid causes that will work against you.
Everyone knows that if you walk into a bank and rob it, the effect of this may be escaping with some money; however, the effect is more likely to be getting hauled off to jail. This is one obvious reason why robbing banks is not that popular. More popular ways of getting ahead involve things such as going to college and working hard at our jobs. Most of society seeks out causes that are positive and more likely to give us better long term results. By and large we avoid things that are likely to cause negative results, and we gravitate towards what is likely to cause positive results–both for us and those around us.
If you look at a chair, the cause of its existence is generally the person who built it. If you wanted more chairs like this chair, the best thing to do would be to find the person who made the chair. If you find the person who made this chair, or the factory that made the chair, you will have discovered the cause.
If you look at a young child of age two or three, who appears incredibly happy and is always laughing and playing, you could study this child as well and find a cause. The cause of the child’s happiness might be a parent; it might be both parents; it might be the way the child naturally sees the world; it might be that the child has never been seriously disciplined. Its disposition might very well be genetic, and the result of its parents’ having similar genetics. There are countless potential explanations for why the child might be happy but there is likely also a cause that can be traced and quantified.
Similarly, if you look at a child who is incredibly unhappy all the time there is generally a cause for this as well. It may be how the child naturally sees the world, the discipline the child has received, the lack of care it has received from parents and relatives. It might very well be genetic. The more you study this child the more you will realize what it is specifically that has made him or her unhappy. There is always a cause.
One of the types of shows I have always enjoyed watching are shows like Forensic Files, Intervention, Power Privilege and Justice and other similar programming that provides in-depth psychological profiles of people who commit various despicable acts. One of the reasons I enjoy these shows so much is that there are often interviews with the families of the person who has committed the crime, which usually has involved murder, prostitution and/or drugs. The more serious the offense, the more interesting to me these interviews seem to be. In watching these shows, in most cases I am always more interested in watching and learning about the parents than the person who committed the crime.
One of the consistent themes I have noticed in these shows is that the mothers of the murderers, drug addicts and so forth are typically very cold. The mothers have typically had a lot of issues themselves and the thing I notice is that they are almost always very detached and unemotional in their speech. The fathers also seem sort of weak in many respects. You do not get a sense that they are all that loving, or willing to take the time to understand their kids.
I am making some gross generalizations; however, I have watched hundreds of these shows throughout the years and this same pattern just seems to repeat itself over and over again. In my opinion, for many of the people out there who are creating mayhem in the world and who are having severe problems, there is always a cause, and the cause is, in most cases, the peoples’ parents.
A few years ago I was complaining to one of my parents about something or another that happened when I was growing up, and my parent said something that was quite memorable: “Grow up and forget about it!”
I thought about this statement a lot at the time because it did seem to resonate with some truth. I had no business being upset about something that happened, or did not happen some 20+ years ago; incidentally I cannot even to this day remember what I was complaining about at the time. Nevertheless, whatever had occurred in the past had apparently planted a seed within me that was still festering in the present.
Another more extreme example: if a man is beaten up by thugs he is going to be a different person in the future in some ways than if he had never been attacked. The attack puts a seed in him. Going to war and being in combat plants seeds in men too. If a woman wins a beauty contest at a young age, this plants another type of seed. If a person goes to college and does horribly this is yet another seed. If a person gets fired from a job, if a person is raised a devout follower of organized religion these too are seeds, life- shaping causes that help form a person and his future.
Once you understand these seeds, you will generally understand their various outcomes, and will quickly come to understand the person.
The problem with understanding the cause for peoples’ situations is often that the causes are hidden. For example, when looking at a giant acorn tree, most people see only the tree. They do not think of the fact that the acorn tree came from the acorn nuts that are now growing out of it. The cause of the acorn tree is the seeds. But what most people see is the tree–not the cause of the tree, which is the seed.
The message I am getting at is very significant and it could change your life. You have many seeds that have been planted within you throughout the years. These seeds have been planted by your parents, your friends, your schools, and by chance events that have occurred. Some of these seeds are good seeds, which can result in positive outcomes, and other seeds are bad seeds, which can result in negative outcomes. The issue is that you probably are not aware of which seeds are which. You are living your life under the constant influence of seeds that were planted long ago within you–and you do not understand or know what they are.
In order for you to make the most of your life and career, it is crucial that you do your best to be influenced by the good seeds, and learn to avoid the bad seeds. When someone goes and spends years on a therapist couch, what they are essentially doing is learning about the bad seeds that have been planted in them, and coming to terms with them, in order to move on in their life. Most of us suppress and do not come to terms with the bad seeds that are influencing our lives; however, by learning to understand them, we are in a much better position to deal with them.
Conversely, there are an incredible number of good seeds out there that have a profound influence on us. These good seeds are the things that make us happy, the people that support us and help us grow, the circumstances that enable us to be better people, the positive things that have helped us get to where we are today and to be the people we are today. Good seeds are something incredibly valuable and we need to make a conscious habit of moving towards good seeds and reinforcing the good seeds in our lives.
I urge you to look at other people that have achieved the levels of success you too desire, and look for the good seeds that have brought them to where they are today. The more you look for the good seeds within people, the more you can use these same tools to move towards where you want to be. You need to adopt good seeds in your own life and bring good seeds into your life to the maximum extent possible.
Seeds do not grow instantly. Seeds take time to grow and they grow based on how they are nourished and the environment they are in. Every single day of your life you are planting seeds. You may be planting seeds that cause good things to happen in the future, or you may be planting seeds that cause bad things to happen in the future, or perhaps nothing at all. This is how it works: the more positive seeds you plant, the better your life will become. It may not all happen instantly, but it will happen.
Advertising is an example of planting seeds. An advertiser goes out and plants ideas in the public’s mind about buying its product or service, with the objective of creating instantly and over time, a harvest of revenue. Businesses plant seeds just as individuals do.
We are addicted to selfish behavior. It is easier to hate than it is to love. We are quick to argue and slow to apologize. Many people drive hard bargains. It is easier for some people to lie than to tell the truth. It is easier for some people to break promises than to do what they say they will do. Selfish behavior is an example of planting a bad seed. It may not happen instantly, but every bad seed you plant will come back to you in some way, making your life more difficult.
If you are not climbing you are falling back. The lower you descend, the more you suffer from depression and turmoil. The further you are from doing good, the unhappier you are likely to be. This can express itself in various forms of illness, financial hardship, social problems, marital problems, fear, anxiety and more. All of these are the result of planting bad seeds.
Reject the selfish impulses that pop into your mind–do not plant bad seeds.
Choose to interact with people who truly enhance your life–plant good seeds.
Choose to interact with people in ways that truly enhance their lives–plant good seeds.
Cheap Beer, Overpriced Chocolate, Being Visible and Approachable
For some reason, lately I have been receiving a lot of invitations from local stores to go and spend an evening looking at stuff–”new fall collections”, for example. It could be women’s shoes, beds, or other wares; however, the invitations just keep coming. They come by mail. The stores call our house. However, lest I think I am special, the stores usually advertise these same events in the paper as well, and promote these special events to the public at large, through their websites.
What You Will Learn
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I have only attended one of these events so far, at a store inside of the Palazzo Casino in Las Vegas. The event was inside a clothing store, and it did not live up to its promise: the vendor supplied nothing more than a tub of iced Budweiser, placed off to the corner in a metal tub. The invitation had said something about “hors d’oeuvres” and a “romantic evening”–but in reality there was nothing romantic about the evening. There was nothing more than a few cold beers on the floor next to the women’s belt section; they weren’t even imported. My wife had been excited about attending the sales event, because she had received a postcard about it in the mail.
“They probably invited everyone in this zip code,” I told her.
“I don’t care,” she said. “We’re new in town and this is the first thing we have been invited to.” That, technically, was not true. There was a politician (who happened to be gay) who had been inviting me to various events in town, which I had been politely declining. It was an uncomfortable situation because some of the events involved things like going to a dinner event with the Governor. My wife had been out of town when these invitations came about, and I did not want to go alone with the guy because I was nervous it might turn into a date. I was hoping the politician would invite me to an event where I could bring my wife, instead of going as a man-date.
The event at the store made me sad that we do not know more people in Las Vegas. My wife spent about an hour getting ready for the event. It was a real let down when we got there and all that was waiting for us there was some cheap beer. No Diet Coke, no wine, no snacks–not even a really amazing sale on something of interest. Keep in mind, I have not drunk a Bud since I was locked in a room inside my fraternity as a freshman and forced to drink 12 warm ones until I vomited. To this day the smell of Budweiser makes me want to vomit.
I could tell my wife was very disappointed because she had prepared for star treatment. She had even hand-carried a special formal purse, and we had hobbled uncomfortably through the casino because she was wearing high heels. One might have looked at the two of us and thought we were going to a wedding.
The store was very crowded, surprisingly. I looked around and saw a bunch of men wearing primarily cargo shorts and polo shirts, who were equally pissed off to be standing around a woman’s clothing store on a Friday night. One man had two beers in his hands and was working through them in short order. Most of the women were talking with the salespeople and seemed pretty excited to be perusing the store’s new “fall merchandise”–which did not look any different from anything else that was for sale in the store.
I stood around for about fifteen minutes looking at women’s magazines and eventually I became so bored I went to look at a chocolate store that was a few doors over. The chocolate store was selling a little bag of chocolate covered nuts, no bigger than my hand, which held probably no more than forty small nuts inside. Since my wife and I were not going to be eating for a while, I figured that this little snack might tide me over.
When I took the nuts to the counter the salesperson told me the little bag would cost $18.
“Are you kidding?” I asked.
“No, I’m perfectly serious. These are special nuts and the recipe is by our founder.”
“Who’s your founder–the Dali Lama?”
As if the fastidious salesman was telling me about a great religious figure, he told me in hushed tones about the founder, some rich woman living in the suburbs of Chicago. In a story that sounded as if he were describing a great historical figure the likes of which are rarely seen in any human lifetime, the salesperson explained to me how the woman’s husband was a doctor and how she was bored staying at home and began experimenting with chocolate recipes, and now has a thriving business with chocolate stores in four American cities.
“I don’t care if this woman has the ability to fly. There’s no more than twenty-cents worth of nuts in here!” I told the salesman.
Since I was angry I was going to have to spend $18 if I wanted a bag of nuts, I stormed out of the store with a bit of bad will, empty-handed. I felt seriously offended that someone was trying to charge me $18+ tax for around forty little nuts. After my wife and I left the Budweiser event we had been invited to, I took her by the chocolate store to show her my shocking discovery:
“Can you believe someone is charging $18 for forty small nuts! This really pisses me off!” I said handing her the bag of nuts for examination.
The salesperson was giving me a mean look while some other guy was at the counter with his wife, trying to convince her it did not make sense to spend fifteen bucks on a chocolate bar that was no bigger than the size of perhaps two or three average fingers put together.
“They tried to charge me eighteen dollars for a bag of nuts!” I yelled at him from across the chocolate store. The man and his wife looked up at me and did not say anything. I think they thought I was a little nuts. I knew how much that candy bar they were struggling over cost because I had gotten angry at the salesperson about that too a few minutes earlier.
“That’s what the bag of nuts costs,” my wife said.
“I know, but it makes me angry. I wanted a bag of nuts and I could not even buy one for less than eighteen bucks.”
I’d poked around in the chocolate store for around fifteen minutes in total, and the entire time I was there I had not seen a single person purchase anything. Eventually the guy and his wife walked out without getting the candy bar. At the same time, the store that had invited us to its Budweiser party had been selling stuff like crazy. People were literally standing in line with their Budweisers, buying various items.
The store that had thrown the Budweiser party was equally outrageous in terms of its pricing. I saw a $350 pair of tennis shoes, a $220 cotton tee shirt, and a few other things before I had been outright alarmed by the pricing there as well. However, people were actually purchasing the stuff. As I thought about it later in the evening, I realized that that the reason the chocolate shop and the woman’s clothing store were doing such different amounts of business was because the clothing store understood the importance of getting people in front of its merchandise–and the chocolate store was not making any special effort to do this.
The chocolate store had been furnished with expensive white tiles and was kind of intimidating for a candy shop. Everything was laid out in a fashion that made you almost nervous to look at it, much less touch it. The salesman inside the chocolate store was dressed in an expensive suit, had perfect teeth and skin, and spoke with some sort of affect that might have been French, or something even classier–I could not tell. In all, the chocolate store was an intimidating, aloof, expensive, and off-putting place.
In contrast, the clothing store we visited was grossly informal. Clothes were on cheap racks. The salespeople were dressed very casually and spoke with common accents. Some of them even looked a little rough around the edges. In short, the clothing store was “approachable”, and people were not afraid to stop by there. Even with its high prices, the clothing store seemed to be selling a lot of goods, and getting people to stop in. The clothing store had a more human element.
Open houses, free Budweiser, postcards in the mail, and all of these types of things are simply a way of getting people to view what is for sale. In order to sell anything, you need to make sure that you get people through the doors of the store to see what is available. If people do not know what is being sold, they are less likely to purchase anything.
The clothing store was bringing new customers in droves, all due to its open house. I am sure it holds these sorts of open house events every season, and for various other reasons as well. In addition to holding the open houses, the store has called my wife on occasion upon receiving new merchandise. I have seen their advertisements all over the place, and the business is continually doing everything it can to get customers into the store.
While I do not know for sure, I would say that the chocolate store will go out of business long before the clothing store we visited. The clothing store understands the importance of getting people into the store. Even the high prices of the clothing store will not prevent people from buying something if enough people get through those front doors.
Also, the attitude of the clothing store is not something that is going to keep customers away. Being approachable, open, easy to relate to, and more is something that is usually more effective than the opposite. It should go without saying that the easier you are to talk and relate to, the better off you will generally do when it comes to business–or anything.
What does any of this have to do with your career and life? Your effectiveness in your job search, business, and more will always be dependent upon your ability to get people to (1) see and (2) purchase your merchandise. Since you and your work are a piece of merchandise, if people do not know you are available, you simply cannot do well. The clothing store with the Budweiser event understood the importance of getting people into the store, and my wife and I feel for it. A store that is on a busy corner will typically do better than one that is not. You will always do better when more people see your merchandise than if they do not.
When you are looking for a job this means getting yourself in front of every possible person you can. The world and various employers need to be aware that you are around. Do not just wait for the perfect job to come along. Instead, you should be making sure that you get out and meet people who can potentially help you in your job search.
One of the most important things that you need to be aware of in your career and when you are looking for a position is to keep moving and continuing to be seen. The more people realize you exist and are available, the more success you will find.
Finally, you need to be approachable. You need to make it easy for people to relate to you, to talk to you, and to get to know you. Be friendly, open, and honest.
The people who typically do the best in anything are those who are able to (1) be seen and (2) relate to people. In your career you need to make sure that you are always seen and that people can relate to who you are and what you stand for.
The Importance of Trust and Access to Information
Two of the most important core components of my belief system are (1) having access to as much information as possible in order to make decisions and (2) dealing with people whom I trust. I think that trust and access to information, more than anything, can make your life function in an incredibly efficient and productive way. These are two of the guiding rules by which I live my life. I love utilizing information to make the best decisions possible. I also love, and in fact, demand dealing with people whom I trust.
What You Will Learn
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For a good portion of my life I was in the asphalt business in Detroit. The work was seasonal because I worked with asphalt sealer and hot tar. These elements stain and destroy everything they come into contact with. For example, when you do this for a living you can count on destroying the interiors and exteriors of your trucks, which means that generally after one season the vehicle will be unusable for anything but asphalt work. In addition, since my company did a tremendous amount of towing with my asphalt vehicles I generally ended up ruining the trucks completely. It is for this reason that at the end of each summer every year I was in the habit of simply taking the trucks to the scrap yard at the end of the summer.
Because I was purchasing “disposable trucks”, I learned very quickly that there were certain places to try and buy them that made the most sense. For example, if I tried to buy them from classified ads in a major publication like The Detroit Free Press or the Detroit News I would never get a good deal. I was looking for trucks I could purchase for like $250-$500, and the ads in those publications were expensive. I would always look in smaller publications that had hardly any circulation. The people who put ads in these publications rarely received any calls, so when I called they were eager to deal and sell their trucks at low prices. When selling something that is not well advertised, the seller is often much more enthusiastic about hearing from you than they would be if they were selling something that was well advertised. I would generally purchase a few trucks each summer with a value of $2,500 each or so for about one tenth of that price. I would get these prices because what I was seeking was not well publicized. This is the value of doing research.
In your job search there are also tons of firms and companies that do not advertise their jobs very well. For example, many companies (large and small) put their openings and positions on their website. Years ago I discovered that this was an incredible way to find job opportunities. We have a company called Hound.com that tracks down jobs from employer websites. Many of these job opportunities receive hardly any inquiries, and thus the employers are eager to hire people from the small pool of available applicants. In addition, there are tons of small job boards, association websites and so forth, which post job listings. We consolidate jobs from both job boards and employer websites on the site EmploymentCrossing.com. You need to find opportunities in places that everyone else is overlooking; there is nothing more powerful. You have more leverage when you look where others are not investigating. Therefore, you get more offers and better paying jobs.
One of the most important things you can do in your life is to mix it up and look at situations from multiple points of view. This really is a major key to success. Examining all the angles and seeing everything that is going on around you can give you a solid understanding of the job landscape, and can empower you to make your best decisions.
It is also important to trust people without question until they mess up. The power of trust is an incredible thing and over the course of my life I have found that there is a real benefit in trusting people without question. Very few people out there consciously choose to trust people; however, when you trust people without question you become surprisingly comfortable, relaxed and unworried for most of the time. You don’t have to play games with people and you can rest easily at night when you trust those around you.
I have been stolen from, cheated and have had many of my most sacred trusts violated. I was very close with many of the people who have betrayed me, and in some cases I trusted them for years or even decades. Obviously I learned that I could not trust certain people. I have been psychologically devastated by trusting certain people, but in the end I was left with the knowledge that I could not trust them. Ironically, once you have learned who you can and cannot trust you move forward in the world with a high degree of certainty, and you tend to worry about things less.
I am in Las Vegas today and yesterday I discovered a condominium I like on the Strip. I have found the people in Las Vegas to be very friendly and accommodating. Last night I slept in a model condo unit that also doubles as the sales office for the entire building. This is my new home in Las Vegas and my wife and daughter will be joining me here shortly.
The place where I am staying is not in the nicest building on the Strip but it has really good views, a big porch and it also has a lot of other advantages I am very excited about. I think my wife and daughter will like it here, and there is room for my dog and parrot as well. I am in the process of setting up more offices in Las Vegas, and will be here working for some time. I hate the process of moving; but alas this is part of work sometimes. Our company has actually had a small office here in Las Vegas since 2000. We are expanding and I need to be here during this time, which means moving to Las Vegas. I am not a gambling or partying type of person, but there is definitely a lot of invigorating energy here.
Yesterday I called a broker I have been dealing with and he told me that the papers were ready for me to sign on the unit I was planning on staying in; it is a large project called Turnberry. In my negotiations with the people selling the unit, I was told that the unit is what is called a “short sale”. I negotiated the price and after some haggling was told that the price had been accepted by the bank. I planned on moving into the unit yesterday. I spoke with the broker right before getting ready to move into the condo. I had initially planned on renting the units for two or three months until the offer was accepted.
I was sitting in my hotel room and I called and spoke with the broker for around 40 minutes. During our conversation he said something that took me by surprise:
“There is a second mortgage on the unit in addition to the first and we need to get another bank to agree to forgive that mortgage in order for you to close. It should be less than 60 days and I am going to push the second mortgage holder to give you a good deal.”
Incredibly, I was sitting there in a hotel getting ready to move into the new condo, thinking the entire process of negotiations and red tape was over. In that moment, however, I realized that I was very far from being in a position to actually purchase the condominium. Instead, everything was up in the air. I would be renting the place until I had more negotiations with yet another bank. The entire thing was very strange and difficult to believe. However, I am very glad I asked the questions I did. I puzzled over this as I left the hotel and in the few hours I had before my move in I decided to drive by and look at another condominium I had seen advertised in a small classified ad in the paper.
I walked into a unit in this giant new building, and I went to the top floor, where I encountered the builder himself. The building is 41 stories high and is the tallest condominium structure in Las Vegas. Like most of the newer condominium buildings in Las Vegas, however, this one is really suffering. It is only about half sold at the moment.
The builder was a nice older gentleman who purchased the land about 30 years previously, and completed the building around 6 months too late–just when the property market in Las Vegas had started to crash. I had seen signs around Las Vegas for the building and was aware of the various discounts it was offering. There were even advertisements in the Los Angeles Times. The last several times I have been in Las Vegas I have also seen trailers driving around the city with various advertisements for the building. In addition, I took a tour a few months ago, the last time I was in Las Vegas.
Yesterday, I took an elevator to the top floor and walked into the developer’s office, which was also an apartment. We chatted for several minutes as I looked around.
“I like your office, with the copiers, desks and everything. Could I have this one–just as it is?”
It was an outrageous question. I have taken a lot of negotiation classes and one of the things that you are supposed to do in negotiations is start off with outrageous requests. Then, when the person is sufficiently taken aback they will propose something more reasonable to them, which they might not normally have done had you not started out with an outrageous request. Since I typically work all the time, and having a bunch of office furniture set up and ready to go would mean that I could start working immediately while looking for a new office space. I expected my request to be met with a very polite no, or even some hostility. But it was not.
“Sure, that’s no problem,” he said. “It is too hot in Las Vegas in the summer and I want to take the summer off and go on vacation. I’ll move everyone out of here tonight and tomorrow.”
After about 10 minutes of very pleasant negotiations, the developer agreed to lease me the model unit at a favorable price, and give me a very fair option to purchase it at any time in the next 5 years if I would so choose. He also agreed to leave everything that was currently in the unit there for me, including copiers, FAX machines, desks and so forth. A short time later he got up and left for his summer vacation.
In one of the bedrooms a bookkeeper was working. In another unit two saleswomen were working. The kitchen had a giant model of the building in it. There were sales contracts and all sorts of stuff spread around the office. The developer was apparently ready for summer vacation as of today, and this was to be his last day of work. He had all sorts of golf trophies and other golf memorabilia scattered about. When he got up to leave he said he would simply vacate the unit with everything it it. Within a few hours, all of his staff had also left and I was standing in a fully stocked office (also a residential condominium) alone. It was one of the oddest experiences of my life.
Meanwhile, my cell phone had been ringing every 15-20 minutes with calls from the broker at Turnberry, trying to get me to come back.
“We’ll pick everything up tomorrow,” one of the sales agents said as she was leaving. I was standing in this condominium surrounded by tons of random papers and sensitive documents. The developer had used the master bedroom as his office, and as I went to sleep last night I slept directly next to his desk, which had papers on it that appeared to be related to projects he was considering developing, personal notes and so forth.
It occurred to me as I lay there that the people I was dealing with had a tremendous amount of trust. I did not look through papers or touch anyone’s belongings but I certainly could have. Here was a man who had just spent over $200,000,000 building a large complex; he had reached a deal and subsequently vacated his office with full staff almost immediately. It was a very unusual experience in all respects. The people in the office had apparently been working together for some 25 years and they all trusted one another. The man I was dealing with also apparently trusted me. Trust is one of the most important things you can have in business.
On the one hand, I put trust in another broker who ended up letting me down by leading me to a unit that would have cost me more than I thought it would. On the other hand, I found someone who had a tremendous amount of trust who even allowed me to sleep among their papers. This ended up being the best decision and I feel like I got the best deal on this unit, as compared to all the other units I was looking at. My decision unarguably ended up being the right one.
The entire experience of looking for a place to live on the Strip has been among the most stressful things I have ever done because there is so much information out there to process, very little guidance in terms of what does and does not make sense, and the market is a bit of a mess right now. My life and career have been about giving people access to information and here, in my search for a condominium, I found that the information available to me did not necessarily always make sense, or even present itself.
My search for a condominium is not much different from the searches that people undertake every day when they are looking for a job. They check multiple career sites, look in the papers and call recruiters, hoping to find those precious nuggets of information that will lead them on the right path to success. It is important in every decision you make to collect every bit of information you can, in order to make the best decisions possible.
In case you have not heard, the City of Las Vegas is in the midst of an economic meltdown of staggering proportions when it comes to condominiums and the housing market. Las Vegas was part of a massive property boom and now it has come crashing down to the ground quite violently. Condominiums that might have been $1,200,000 two years ago are now listing at $500,000. But you might not get them for $500,000. You might pay $800,000, or $750,000, or $600,000 for the exact same unit in the exact same condominium unit in the exact same building. It all depends on the broker you are using and what they end up telling you. It will also depend in your ability to track down information. Not all of the information is on the MLS. Some of the information you are going to find in newspapers, other information is going to be on the condominium websites, some of the information is with the owners of the condominiums, who you need to speak with.
The fact is that there are so many sources of information all over the place that making the best decision possible is extremely difficult. Another factor is that the prices and interest rates are always changing, so it can be difficult to know whether you are making the best decision possible. Often it comes down to the following question: Who can you trust when you are gathering information?
A few days ago I was looking at one unit over in MGM Signature Condos and I was considering purchasing it. I asked the real estate agent for comparable sales and he sent me over a list of “current listings” and “recent sales”, which suggested that the price I would have been paying for the condo would have been less than 50% as compared to other comparable sales and listings. At first glance this looked extremely good and it was something that almost anyone would have “jumped on” if they went by this information alone. However, I decided that I should also do some investigation online and I quickly discovered that the price I was about to pay was actually above what current units were trading for in the building.
Earlier last week I had found a unit I really liked and was excited about renting. I showed up to rent the unit and the owner told me that the price was going to be more than I had planned on paying for the unit.
The market out there is really crazy and it is difficult to know who you can trust. When you have reason not to trust people the onus is on you to investigate. You need to make it a point to access as much information as possible. The more you know and the more you understand the better ability you have to make sensible decisions.
Ultimately the way I ended up getting this new condominium was a lesson about trust, stress and an incredible number of other things that I will not soon forget. The unit was also something that I found at the last minute. I secured it through a last minute negotiation that was only brought about because the people I was previously dealing with had violated my trust. Ultimately, the person I ended up purchasing from was the man who has built the tallest residential condominium in Las Vegas–and last night I ended up literally sleeping in his office. This is someone who gave me a lot of trust, and he is also someone I trusted. I found this man and his condominium via a small advertisement in the paper–not on a giant website where everyone is searching. I believe this made him more willing to negotiate, and more amenable to my requests–even as outrageous as they may have seemed.
Without access to information, without mixing it up and without trust it is much more difficult to move forward in the world and to make the best decisions. You need trust and access to information.
You Need to be Seen as the Cure
Since I live on the ocean, whenever I look out the window the first things I generally see are surfers, people on jet skis and so forth. After years of watching at a distance, and without my personally having any ability to stay standing on a surf board, I made the decision to purchase a jet ski in order to start enjoying the water.
What You Will Learn
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The first jet ski I purchased was on EBay and I believe I purchased it for around $500. The jet ski was an old sort of jet ski that you needed to stand up on and then pull up on, after which it would start going forward. There was no seat on this particular jet ski; the only way you could use it was standing up. This jet ski is part of a long line of water sport toys that I have purchased over the last few years in my effort to develop ocean-like hobbies, which have all for the most part completely and miserably failed. Suffice it to say, when it comes to the ocean, she and I do not get along.
The problem with my ocean-going hobbies, which I always seem to forget about, is that I work all the time. I work from 6:00 or 7:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. or so Monday through Friday and also on Sunday. In addition, I usually get sucked in and work at least 5 or 6 hours every Saturday. I am obsessed with my work for various reasons, which literally leaves me no time for ocean-going pursuits; however, I like to think it does. Despite the fact I live right on the beach, I often go weeks or months without ever going down to the water. If you spend your time sitting in front of a desk as I do, you like to dream of ways you can let loose from time to time. Since I spend a lot of time looking out the window observing people having fun in the ocean, ocean sports have always taunted me as something that could be a lot of fun.
On the day before Thanksgiving a couple of years ago I went to a store in Oxnard, California that sold inflatable boats and I decided to purchase an inflatable boat. These are the sort of boats you see on television and in the movies, that are launched from larger boats and are usually employed to zoom out to rescue people. They can also be launched from land –or so I thought. I spent that day in Oxnard negotiating with the owner of the store and finally, around 5:00 p.m., I loaded up my boat with the engine into my pickup truck and started driving back to Malibu. My dream, and the plan, was to keep the boat directly under my house and haul it back and forth to take trips up and down the coastline from time to time.
I will to be the first to admit that working in front of a computer all day, doing numerous teleconferences and running several businesses can make a guy do some strange things. In many respects, I consider my pursuits somewhat healthy. A lot of people I know of, fantasize about and engage in far more nefarious pursuits to blow off steam when they find themselves working a little too much. I am really no different; however I do try and keep my non work-related activities as clean and wholesome as possible.
I was with an assistant of mine that day, and he had been somewhat astonished about our spending the day in a boat store negotiating the purchase of a relatively inexpensive inflatable boat. The negotiations went on for hours, but I enjoyed them. It is always important in my opinion to negotiate everything you can when it is not considered a crass thing to do. Negotiating with someone who is offering you a job may not always be the best idea, however, negotiating the purchase of a boat, some clothes or other retail items can sometimes pay great dividends.
As a case in point, I once purchased thousands of dollars worth of suits from Macy’s for a few hundred bucks. It was one of the strangest–and most strangely gratifying experiences of my life. After my second year of practicing law I had decided that I was going to go work for another law firm. The law firm where I had been currently working had absolutely no dress code, whereas the law firm I was moving to required that I wear a suit and tie. Macy’s was having some sort of insane sale wherein they had marked down the cost of their suits by 50% and then for an eight hour window they would be deducting an additional 50% on top of the 50% off. When I went to the cashier the bill was like $1,000 for all the suits.
“I’m not sure I want to spend this much money,” I told her sort of mumbling under my breath.
“I have just the thing,” she said. She pulled out some special staff coupon that entitled the store’s staff members to get 80% off one clothing purchase, and she gave it to me. I ended up purchasing 5 nice suits for $200. It was one of the strangest things I had ever seen. Sometimes just raising your voice can result in incredible savings.
As my assistant and I were driving up the coast, I decided that I wanted to pull over and launch the boat right then and there. I would drive the boat up to coast to my house. My assistant seemed to think my plan was a good idea and told me that it sounded cool, among other reassurances. He was a nice guy from the Midwest who had recently relocated to California, and I think he was watching a lot of my antics thinking it was all simply par for the course. We pulled along the side of the road, unloaded and started carrying the boat towards the beach where we planned on my inaugural “beach launch”. I had remembered something about the guy at the inflatable boat store saying something about a special class I could go to that taught how to launch inflatable boats from the beach into the ocean. As I soon learned, there is a special skill set associated with this, which is not quick and easy to develop.
The boat was much heavier than I anticipated and it took us several minutes to drag it from the back of the truck to the waterfront. The boat also had an engine that was on the back of the truck, which must have weighed at least 125 pounds. We set the boat next to the water and I went back to get the engine. Both my assistant and I were already sweating from all the effort. It took us at least 30 minutes to hook up the engine to the boat. Finally, we had the engine on the boat and I pulled the cord to start the engine. It started right up and the propeller was whizzing around in all directions. We did not really know what to do at that point, and it was very frightening. I pulled an emergency cord to shut off the engine. By this time our legs were covered in water right up to our knees and our pants were soaked. It was also getting dark outside.
“We need to get this thing in the water!” I finally said. The waves were crashing around us and they were huge–as tall as us, as they broke several feet from shore. The water looked pretty frightening and at some point my assistant said something along the lines of “I would not go out there if I were you!”
We pushed the boat further into the ocean, trying to get it to a place where I could jump into it, start the engine and sputter out to sea. However, no sooner than having gotten the boat out that far, a giant wave crashed over us and filled the boat with water. It then proceeded to flip the boat entirely. We both dove into the water and attempted to flip the boat back over. I am not sure how long it took, but we eventually got the boat positioned so it was right side up again. The problem was that it was now filled with water, and we were unsure of how to drain it. I jumped in the boat and attempted to find some plugs or something to drain the water, and I did, but no sooner than I found these plugs did a great wave knock me right over again.
We had first left the truck and attempted to launch the boat at around 5:30 pm. Here we were two hours later, hundreds of yards down the beach. The boat was filled with water and we were both holding onto ropes attached to the boat, in a heavily labored attempt to keep the boat from being pulled out completely to sea. Each time a new wave would come the boat would thrash around wildly, and then, once the wave had retreated it would attempt to pull the boat out to sea with it. Each time a large wave would come, one of us would shout something like: “Oh shit, Mother of God!!’ and the other might scream “HOLD ON!”
At some point we both agreed that the only way to end the struggle would be to deflate the boat and drag it out of the water. So I jumped in the boat and started pulling various plugs, hoping to deflate it. But the boat refused to deflate. That is, I had to physically push on the various areas of the boat that were not deflating in order to get the air out. As each wave would come it would flip the boat and me with it. It was dark; we were on a deserted beach and there was no one around to witness or to assist in our aquatic nightmare. We were shivering in the cold and our hands were wrinkled from the cold water.
We eventually got the boat deflated and started dragging it towards the truck, which was hundreds of yards away. There were parts of the boat all up and down the shoreline. The visible casualties from our fight with the boat were the flooring, which we had disassembled, the motor and gas tank, which we had taken off, and various other parts, including a little canopy made to protect the boater from the sun. We had ripped off the protective canopy in all the frenzy. The boat was entirely in pieces, it was dark, and we needed to locate all of the scattered parts that were hiding along the shoreline. The situation was probably even worse than I can recall now; I most surely have blocked out some of the details.
When we finally got back to the truck we decided we would use the headlights from the truck to track down all the parts of the boat that were missing. This seemed like a good idea, one which would save us considerable time, since there was hardly any visibility. We started the truck and I remember we were both shivering and completely wet. My assistant had gone into a sort of psychological shock, I think. He stared vacantly into the distance and mumbled several things that did not make any sense. When I put the truck in gear we did not move forward. The wheels of the truck just spun in the sand.
It was hard to believe that this was happening to us. I drive a giant “dually” pick up truck. It has four wheels in the back and it is not the sort of pickup truck that one person could push. But we tried. For the next hour or so we made every attempt to push and rock the pickup, to get it out of the sand. We tried digging and putting various things beneath the wheels. Nothing was working. In the end we called for a tow truck. Since it was the night before Thanksgiving, it was not easy to get assistance. I called my wife and she ended up bringing us dry clothes. I did not get home until well after 10:00 p.m. that evening, and I have never tried getting into that boat again. It is simply too heavy to move, plus it bears a certain psychological weight.
The nice thing about the jet ski that I purchased some time ago on EBay, was that it was no more than a few hundred pounds–much lighter than the inflatable boat. With a little effort I could drag it from under my house to the water and back. Unfortunately I never took the time to learn how to use it. I should have.
The waves in front of my house are consistently so large that the area is called County Line. It is considered one of the best surfing areas in the United States. Even the Beach Boys sung about it. In fact, the waves are so impressive that some people I know from Bermuda are flying all the way over here to stay with us and learn surfing for a couple of weeks over this summer. The main problem I have had with this little jet ski was that, due to the size of the waves, I was never able to stand up on it–not for long. Mostly I would just be knocked right over and get dragged around by the thing. Inevitably the jet ski would be tossed by the waves like a leaf in the wind and then thrown back to shore. Unfortunately, only after making the purchase did it dawn on me that stand up jet skis are made for lakes–not the savage ocean.
After my experiments with the stand up jet ski, I decided that the smart thing to do would be to purchase a sit down jet ski. A few weeks later I found myself at the Sea-Doo dealership. I was with my dad and we sat there negotiating for a few hours. Ultimately I ended up purchasing the biggest and most bad ass jet ski in the store. The jet ski I purchased was so powerful that you could allegedly take it underneath the water and come shooting right out. The guy in the dealership told me it would do over 80 miles an hour. It was very formidable.
Since I was planning on storing the jet ski beneath my house, we discussed doing a beach delivery, whereby we would launch the jet ski from the shoreline a few miles from my house and then ride it directly into the beach by my home. This seemed like a great idea to me and I was very excited about the prospect. The salesman agreed to assist me in delivering the jet ski, so we went to a public beach and before we had the opportunity to even unload the Sea-Doo from the truck, a state parklands officer came up to us and told us the we would get a ticket if we attempted to launch the jet ski there. For the next 30 minutes or so we snaked around looking for a launching place, and we finally found a deserted stretch of beach. I got on the jet ski and rode it back towards my house. Then the salesman swam out to take over and rode it at 45 miles an hour. At one point he launched it off a wave and landed it about 20 feet from the house, making the delivery official.
Unfortunately, we realized once the jet ski was on the beach that it was nearly impossible to get it any closer to the house, so that it would not be washed away during high tide. Despite the fact that the salesman had brought a helper with him, we had absolutely no luck lifting the jet ski. It was a complete nightmare. We struggled and pushed for a long while and realized that the machine must weigh over 1000 pounds.
At some point I decided that it would be best to go to the grocery store, Howes, down the road, and find a few guys to help us. I recruited about five guys and brought them back to my house. Sure enough, these five guys, the salesman, his helper and I were able to combine strength to move the jet ski. It worked out great! Over the next several months, each time I wanted to go out on the jet ski I would go to Howes and recruit several guys to take it out for me; then I would beach the jet ski and drive back to Howes in order to get some more guys to come help me move it in. I paid the guys $5.00 a piece to move it out and another $5.00 a piece to move it back in.
The tradition was that I would go to Howes and say in Spanish “I need 5 guys for five bucks each for a really quick job!” and the guys would all hop in the truck to help me move the jet ski. One time when we were all heading down the road towards the beach, we came upon an accident that had recently occurred. There was an overturned bread truck and a few cars that had crashed into a ditch. A couple of people who appeared to have gotten out of the cars were wandering around the wreckage in a daze. The accident looked bad; there were flames coming out of the bread truck. I veered to the side of the road and saw the guys I had picked up from Howes looking at each other skittishly. I could tell that this is why they thought I had recruited them for help–at five bucks a piece, no less.
As we ran across the road towards the bread truck a portion of the truck exploded, shooting flames at least 20 feet in the air. We all turned and ran back towards my pickup as the truck exploded again. Since my truck was pretty close to the mess, I jumped in and sped it forward, far away from the explosions. The workers I had hired ran towards me and then hopped into my pickup when it finally came to a stop.
As we sped away in the pickup truck, several policeman came roaring up to the scene and blocked off the road. Since I had not witnessed the accident, I decided to leave. When I looked at the guys they were all drenched in sweat and looked absolutely terrified. They thought that I had brought them to the accident site for a rescue mission, and we had all almost been killed in an explosion.
I heard one of the guys say in Spanish something to the effect of this was the hardest $5 he had ever made.
After some time it got pretty old having to hire and round up day workers every time I wanted to take my jet ski out. I hoped to find a solution whereby I could take the Sea-Doo out all the time without having to hire some guys. I did all sorts of research online and I eventually discovered a contraption that the owner claimed was ostensibly designed to move the jet ski in and out of the water.
The first one of these I bought I got on EBay. It cost a few hundred dollars and was delivered by some specialized shipping service because it was so large. It ended up not working at all. The problem was that, after I got the 1,000+ pound jet ski loaded onto the device, it would sink into the sand, immobile. I would sigh and have to drive to Howes. Another problem I had at the time was that I rarely carry cash around. Therefore, I would find myself driving around frequently in uncomfortable wet suits looking for a cash machine.
I continued searching for a solution to my problem and eventually I discovered a guy in Florida with a tool he claimed could solve my problem easily. According to him, his company had solved the problem of jet skis sinking in the sand with special tires, which looked like two basketballs welded together. The thing looked like some bizarre moon contraption, and once I had seen the pictures of it and had spoken to the guy, I was more than happy to pay $1,100 for this incredible device. I thought that my prayers had been answered.
One day while waiting for my special contraption with the lunar tires to arrive, I went downstairs and discovered that the small stand up jet ski I had purchased online had most likely been washed out to sea by a series of large waves the night before. The larger jet ski had been moved a little; however, its massive weight would have required much more than common waves in order to move it. The old jet ski had frequently been washed down the beach a few houses or so during various storms, and this latest episode was proof positive that I needed to make a change. The problem with the jet skis was that they needed to be stored beneath the house, which is on stilts. This results in them coming into contact with waves every so often, when there are storms.
The solution to this latest problem, I reasoned, was for me to build a special ramp beneath the house that could be lowered and raised. I would need to be able to roll the jet ski up and down the ramp on a little trailer to safely store it, and to take it out to sea. For this project, I consulted with an engineer who specialized in designing these types of systems for sailboats. He was able to verify that the foundation of the house was strong enough to support the jet ski, and he designed this ramp with a series of complex pulley systems that could move the ramp up and down. The entire project was extremely complex and took several weeks; however, I felt the investment was worth it in the long run, and by the time it was complete it was an absolute masterpiece.
The engineer, also a carpenter, was very proud of his work; when he was done he called me on the phone and requested I pay his several thousands of dollars extra because the project had been so much more work than he had anticipated.
When the specialized jet ski mover arrived from Florida it was yet another disappointment. It worked somewhat as promised and did not get stuck in the sand, but the problem was that the jet ski was so incredibly heavy that it still required at least two guys to push it. In addition, the beach sloped away from the house. While one person could easily get the jet ski going towards the water from the house, it was very difficult to get the jet ski back to the house without extra assistance.
I puzzled over this issue for quite some time. I could not understand how someone could live right on the ocean and not be able to use his own jet ski. Also, I had become increasingly annoyed with my neighbors who seemed to think that I was fighting a losing battle with the jet ski. My objective was now to show them that I could conquer this problem once and for all.
One day I finally came upon what I thought would be the perfect solution: An ATV. Not just any ordinary ATV; a serious ATV. I figured that an ATV with a massive winch attached to it could easily pull the jet ski into and out of the water.
The ATV I finally located was extreme. It was the most powerful ATVs ever built. Boasting 800 ccs, it had a very serious motor. It had seating for two on the back and best of all it had a winch built onto it. The winch was the real kicker; I knew it would enable me to move the Sea-Doo in and out of the water with ease.
The first time I used it, a guy from Chicago who was renting my neighbors house had come out to speak with me:
“Dude. I have been living on the water for years and I also grew up with ATVs. I just want to tell you that there is no way what you are contemplating doing is going to work.”
I proceeded to hook the winch up to the Sea-Doo and to drag it right out to the water using the ATV. Seeing the look on that moron’s face was great. Another cool thing about the ATV was that if you got stuck in the water all you had to do was put on the four wheel drive. The ATV was an absolute miracle worker.
As well as the ATV worked, the third or fourth time I used it the cable on the winch snapped and went flying back at the jet ski. Alas, I was forced to revert to Howes to search for eligible day workers.
The dealership where I had purchased the ATV was highly sympathetic to the situation and they tracked down a special supplier who made really, really strong ATVs and supplies, and ultimately I was able to solve the problem with the winch cable. However, within a month or so of getting that fixed, the ATV’s electrical system had become corroded from coming into contact with too much saltwater. It stopped working.
It was back to Howes, as you might have guessed.
After this episode, I decided to give up trying to keep the jet ski on the beach. A year or so later I moved to a different house. Now I keep the ATV (which goes unused) in my driveway, and I store the jet ski which I use very rarely.
A couple of months ago I was backing up my car during a bad rain storm and I had the radio on. I thought I heard something outside the car, but was not sure. Moments later I realized that the ATV had scraped up the entire passenger side of the car. The dealership explained that the damage sustained by the aluminum car body was more of a “10 foot gouge” than a mere scratch, and that they could not just pound out aluminum like they could another metal. The estimate they gave my insurance company for repairing the car was $24,000. The car has been in the repair shop for the past few months.
Now I am sure you are asking yourself, and you rightly should be, “What does any of this have to do with your job search and life?” Believe it or not, this particular series of events has an incredible amount to do with you and your career. In fact, these particular episodes teach some of the strongest lessons about getting and keeping a job that you may ever learn.
When I purchased those five suits from Macy’s on that fateful day, I had a serious problem at hand: I could not go to work without those suits. I literally owned only one suit at the time. The new suits were a cure for one problem. Then then was the issue of price–even with the double discount the total at the cash register had come to $1,000–more than I wanted to spend on those five suits. Yet somehow, right then and there, that Macy’s employee came through with a solution, a cure for my problem.
When I called the tow truck to extricate me from the sand, I had no other options available. Whatever price the tow truck driver had charged I probably would have paid. He held the cure for my problem.
When I went to pick up the guys at the market to help me move my jet ski all of those times I had no choice but to use them. There was literally no other way that I could have moved the jet ski. They were the cure for my problem.
When one of my jet skis washed away and I needed someone to design and fabricate a complicated ramp with a series of pulleys and so forth, I needed to call someone familiar with this sort of work. There are not a lot of engineers out there who specialize in boats, and who are also carpenters. The guy I hired for this had the cure for my problem.
When I needed an ATV powerful enough to pull the jet ski in and out of the water, Bombardier supplied the cure for my problem–the most powerful ATV available, with a winch on it. This was the only logical cure for my problem at the time.
When the cable on the winch broke, the dealership tracked down a specialized company that made heavy duty winch cables, and this company too had the cure for my problem.
When I backed my car into the ATV and destroyed the side of it, the only company that had a cure for my problem was the company that manufactured my car because they were the only ones who sold the body panels that needed to be replaced.
Employers are constantly facing a barrage of new challenges and problems. Being at the right place at the right time, to which we often attribute success, really means offering the right cure for the right situation. Become the cure–not the cause of your employer’s struggles. If you are the best candidate for the job, you are the cure for the situation. Let this be known through your words, and let it be seen in your actions. Then marvel as you watch your destiny unfold.
A Success Turn Around Formula That Works
What You Will Learn
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I did so poorly in ninth grade that I still cannot believe it. I did not fail completely, but a problem was brought to my attention by a school guidance counselor when I got to eleventh grade. I was called into the counselor’s office and was told the following:
“You got all A’s in tenth grade. Your academic performance this year has been amazing. Combining this with your being an officer of the student counsel, and a varsity athlete, you have really turned a corner. The only problem is that you had a 1.7 grade point average in ninth grade. If we were to forget about ninth grade and remove it from your transcript, you would be able to apply to any college you want. However, if we keep ninth grade on your transcript you will not get into good colleges. I suggest you spend an extra year in high school, and we can call your tenth grade year your freshman year on your transcript.”
And so it was. I agreed and my ninth grade performance was completely purged from my transcript. I was a completely different person in ninth grade than I was in tenth grade. I had not been a varsity athlete in ninth grade, nor an officer on the student counsel. I did not perform well academically, and had hung around the wrong crowd; at least one of my friends from ninth grade later went to prison.
What happened? How did I turn a corner so rapidly?
First, a little back story: I had been refused re-admittance into a very prestigious private school for my 8th grade year. This had been a complete shock to me and looking back on it I still do not think it was fair. Nevertheless, the expulsion happened and it had upset me greatly.
The way I came to learn that I was being kicked out was a real shocker as well. The school I had attended had a middle school and a high school, each of which was on its own separate campus. One day the middle school students were all bussed over to the high school to pick their classes for the following year, to walk around the campus and sit in on some classes. The middle school did not let me participate for that day’s special activities, and made me sit alone in a classroom the entire day. I was given no explanation whatsoever. Since I had not been kicked out yet, this really gnawed at me. I did not understand what was going on. Only later would the school formally tell me that I would not be invited to return the following year.
As anyone that has ever been kicked out of a group, dumped in a relationship, or fired from a job knows, this creates a lot of insecurity when moving on to the next group, relationship or job. Not knowing what is going to happen next, whether one will be accepted or rejected and so forth can become a huge source of anxiety.
When I got to ninth grade, I was no different from someone who has been fired from a job and does not know how to cope. My self esteem was extremely low. I wanted to fit in, but I was also very nervous and fearful because of what had happened to me the previous year. I chose friends that were not very intelligent, so that I could feel better about myself and in control of my life. I sat in class not paying attention most of the time, trying to feel and be cooler than the other kids. With the exception of a few classes, I received Ds and failing grades, in direct correlation to the effort I had put into school at the time.
One of the most pathetic moments in my life came when I decided that I needed to start skipping school. School was not fun for me because I was doing so poorly, and I did not feel like I was fitting in the way I wanted to. I used to have to take a bus to school, and the bus would leave before my father and stepmother left for work. I would leave at the same time every day and my parents could see me walk across the street to the bus stop and stand there with the other kids, waiting for the bus.
One day I walked across the street and stood at the bus stop where they could see me, and then hid behind a tree when the bus pulled up. I hid in a nearby bush, nearly frostbitten, watching until my family left for work, then I went back into the house. At that point I would call my mother (my parents were divorced and I lived with my father and stepmother), and she would call the school and say I was sick. For the rest of the day I would sit in front of the television, eat pop tarts and basically do nothing. I slept on a fold out couch each evening, and one day my stepmother came home to get something right after I had come back into the house. I hid under the couch for several minutes while she took a long phone call that she had received. It was a real low point in my life.
By the end of my ninth grade year, I had become addicted to chewing tobacco (my friends were not that classy), and I had started drinking on the weekends. In short, I was turning into a real loser. From the age of 15 until the age of 33 I chewed tobacco all day, every day, and would spit into a cup. It was a disgusting habit that I picked up from hanging out with the sorts of kids I should not have ever associated with in the first place. It was also an extremely hard habit to break.
How does someone undergo a transformation from a loser to a leader, and an academic and athletic success? The change that I eventually underwent was nothing short of remarkable, and looking back, I think I know how I was able to rebuild my life.
It all comes down to control. I gradually learned to control one element after another in my life and in doing so I was, after some time, able to control them all. There are all kinds of problems that occur in our lives, which can leave us feeling confused and in a complete state of chaos. When there is so much going on, and we find we are not in control of any of it, we often end up withdrawing and shutting down. This is exactly what I did in my ninth grade year.
When I look back on everything that happened, I believe that I was able to control the situation by simply focusing on one thing at a time. When I entered tenth grade, I decided that I would pass algebra. One day I sat down and told myself that I would not get an ‘F’ in the class. I would not be repeating it a second time. I told myself I would do everything within my power to control this situation, and I studied algebra religiously every night, never failing to do my homework. I studied and worked as if my life depended upon it. Within a short time, I was earning A’s and B’s in this subject.
I did the same thing with my Spanish class, which required me to memorize words every night. I memorized words and did my homework as if it were the only thing that mattered in my life. Pretty soon I was passing this class instead of failing it. The self esteem I got from passing algebra and then Spanish, and then other courses started helping me improve every single area of my life. This was how I gradually gained control over my own life: I focused on one area of importance at a time.
After the school had not invited me back for the following year, I withdrew. I stopped doing things after school. I limited the number of friends that I had. I tried to limit every input from my surroundings by missing school as much as possible.
When people face problems or become upset and confused, they typically withdraw, just like I did. The person who loses a job and is continually rejected from one job after another withdraws. After withdrawing, the person feels a great sense of loneliness, and the world just keeps passing him or her by. When you see the unhappiest and the most unsuccessful people in the world–the people who are defeated, what you find is that they choose to withdraw. This is how most people cope.
How does one go from a failure to a great success in a quick period of time? How do you turn your life around and do so FAST if you are not reaching your full potential. I propose a simple two-step remedy that works each and every time:
- Get control over the most out-of-control elements in your life, by focusing on one area at a time
- Become as extroverted as you possibly can, and do so quickly
In ninth grade I did not have control over the elements in my life. Specifically, I did not have any kind of plan or focus on doing better in my classes. I did not take responsibility for my own happiness.
A failing grade in algebra is an example of being out of control. By getting control over this one element, I was able to build from there and get confidence and learn to control other elements. This gave me confidence in other areas of my life.
The point of getting control over the most problematical areas of your life is that doing so empowers you to gain control over all the other areas of your life. In my case, starting to get control meant performing better in algebra class. Most of us have areas of our life that are out of control. If we can fix these areas, everything else will fall into place for us.
For example, many people find themselves stuck in bad relationships. They may have a significant other who is unfaithful, and who constantly causes them pain and confusion. They may have a significant other who yells at them for no reason and makes life difficult in general. Or, their best friend may call them all day long just to complain about the world.
Whatever the issue may be, when we are faced with a single element in our life that is out-of-control, everything else in our life becomes much more difficult to handle. We may start to worry about the other person constantly, or to feel insecure all of the time.
The cure for these issues is to identity and to take control over the issue that is out-of-control. It may mean giving our significant other an ultimatum, leaving them, or cutting ties with our friend who complains and makes life difficult for us. Whatever the case may be, once the issue is solved it will result in a great sense of possibility and freedom.
Other people have problems with food or substances that create constant problems for them. Once this one problem is solved the person can very rapidly turn a corner and experience incredible improvement in life. Someone may have a job at which they are criticized and talked down to all the time. Once they address these issues and move into a new job, their entire outlook on life can change for the better.
Have you ever witnessed the incredible transformation of people who have addressed an issue in their lives, like leaving someone harmful to them, stopping abusing a food or substance, getting out of a job that is bad for their self esteem, or addressing another issue? I have. I see it all the time. These decisions can make an incredibly profound difference in the people’s lives.
By the time I was 18 years old or so, despite an impressive record of success and having been admitted to some of the best colleges in the United States, I realized that I did not have a lot of self confidence. I was well liked and fairly popular in school, but I just did not feel like I would ever accomplish much. I felt a sense of lack, an emptiness that I knew would hold me back. I felt nervous around certain people, and knew that if I did not change this I would never reach my full potential. Despite having mastered my studies, despite having been a varsity athlete, despite having been elected to the student counsel and more, I still oftentimes felt as if I were not worthwhile.
Self confidence is a fascinating subject–something that I could write about forever. It is incredibly interesting to me, the power it has to influence the course of our lives. I have seen so many stars like Michael Jackson, Elvis and others die from drugs they were taking to influence their emotional state. I have watched powerful and well known people disintegrate due to not having self confidence. I have seen so many people stand on the sidelines of life and not accomplish everything they were capable of due to a lack of self confidence. A lack of self confidence is one of the main things out there that holds people back. It is an epidemic of sorts, and is incredibly dangerous.
At the age of 18 I decided I needed to fix my self confidence issue because it was out-of-control and limiting me. I purchased every book I could find about self confidence, even purchased a self hypnosis tape that I listened to daily. I studied and read everything I could about self confidence and within a few years I had a ton of self confidence and felt like I could do anything. I have been helped immeasurably in my life by improving my self confidence–it enabled me to get better grades, start businesses and take many, many risks I otherwise would not have. Self confidence can do massive wonders for you too. However, the lesson of this is that I had a weakness and an area of my life that was “out of control” and I made a decision to fix it.
In the ninth grade I found myself literally hiding under a bed, avoiding school and the world. In tenth grade I decided that I needed to do something, to get out of my shell. I decided to run for student counsel, to try out for varsity sports and to get myself out there. I had never run for an office or been a leader in my life. Something inside of me, however, told me that this was something that I absolutely needed to do if I was going to make a change in my life. I took action because it just seemed like the smartest and best thing to do. And it was.
Being extroverted as opposed to being introverted can change your life, and can prod you to great achievement. You need to get out there if you are going to achieve and make the most of yourself in the world. When you are introverted you are always focused on yourself and looking inward. You will not see the world and the people in the world as they are. This will do you no good whatsoever. When you are extroverted you can view the entire world and everything in it. And the only way to improve is to be a part of the world, not separated from it.
The solution to taking charge of your life and your career is simple:
First, find something that is challenging you in your life, over which you can gain control. Then take charge of it. It could be your self esteem, your ability to do a certain task, your health, or your ability to get along with superiors. Whatever is holding you back, the most important thing you can do is grab hold of the issue and control it. Start small if you want, or start with a larger issue. Just start somewhere, because if you do not start somewhere you will get nowhere.
Second, step outside of yourself and become as extroverted as you can. This will force you to stop focusing on yourself and to interact with and participate in the world around you. You need to be a participant in life and the world in order to reach your potential. If you are not participating in the world then you are holding yourself back and will not reach your potential. What is that you say? You are naturally introverted and have a hard time being extroverted? Well, how much has this helped you? Chances are, it has not. Find me someone who is happy and successful and I will show you someone who is able to be extroverted. The more extroverted a person is, with few exceptions, the more happy and successful they are.
This success formula has worked for everyone I have ever counseled. It has worked for me and it will work for you too.
Concentrate on Your Product
What You Will Learn
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When I was growing up I used to spend most weekends with my father. Like most fathers I knew, my dad loved to watch sports. Football was always on during the season, and he always seemed most interested in college sports. I have always been quite amazed by college football because of the high level of enthusiasm that students, alumni and others have for it. My mother went to the University of Michigan, my father attended law school there for some time, my grandfather went there, and my grandmother got a masters degree there as well. My grandparents liked the school so much that they both donated their bodies to the school when they died. We had a secondary small memorial ceremony for them six months after they died, to bury the ashes that were returned to us by the medical school.
Because my family was so excited about the University of Michigan, I was always hearing about Michigan football during the season. I even went to a few games at the giant stadium in Ann Arbor. Michigan, and football fans get really out of control. People drive around with flags on their cars, bars get packed with people during each game, and there is overall a tremendous amount of enthusiasm and support for all the Michigan teams. Our next door neighbors used to hang a giant Michigan flag on their house.
When I moved to California, I still could not escape Michigan football. I moved to Pasadena and since Michigan seemed to be playing in every Rose bowl, I would again see the crazed fans driving by my office and home with flags on their cars. And of course I went to the Rose Bowl to watch my home team play ball. Before each game stealth bombers would fly over the stadium, which was extremely thrilling to watch.
In all my years of working in the legal industry in California I have actually only met a few people who went to Michigan. It is a great school with an awesome law school and many other great programs; however, when I think of the University of Michigan what first comes to mind is football.
For people who grow up in Michigan, attending the University of Michigan is a wonderful thing. Typically attendees have proven themselves as top performing and exceedingly dedicated students. The most spirited new students typically move to a suburb of Detroit and hang a giant flag in front of their house, outfit their car with little flags and then travel to Ann Arbor to go to all of the football games each weekend.
When I got into Michigan, I was excited, but not nearly as excited as I was about getting into the University of Chicago. You see, I had played football in high school but was not that good of a player. In fact, I sat on the sidelines virtually the entire season. The thought of being reminded of football every day really did not appeal to me; it struck me as a depressing reminder of my years as a benchwarmer.
You are probably wondering what any of this has to do with your career and your life. In reality, this has just about everything to do with your career and life. Michigan, like any institution, has a variety of products that it could be known for. It could be known for how smart its students are. It could be known for its strength in math and sciences. It could be known as a school that spawns a lot of important politicians–like Harvard does. It could be known as a place where offbeat humanities types attend–like Reed College. However, what most people think of when they think about the University of Michigan is football. Just football.
Football is so important to a school like Michigan that the donations from its alumni actually increase dramatically when the school does well in the football season. Therefore, the school goes to great lengths to recruit for its football team.
I chose to go to the University of Chicago largely because when I thought about the school, I thought about academics–learning and studying. These were things I was much better at than football, and that appealed to me much more. A funny thing about the University of Chicago is that it had once had one of the greatest teams in college football–until the President of the school, Robert Maynard Hutchins, abolished the team:
Not only did Hutchins buck the dominant trends in philosophy and instruction, he also challenged higher education’s emphasis on intercollegiate football. Hutchins abolished the university’s football team in 1939 because he believed students needed to focus on scholarship and Chicago should play football only if it could remain competitive with major athletic programs. This was a momentous decision as the Maroons were a founding member of the Big Ten Conference and once a national powerhouse under the famed coaching of Amos Alonzo Stagg. In fact, Stagg, who had retired from Chicago in 1933, had been the first coach in the nation to be a tenured professor, and his large athletics’ budget was exempted from normal institutional review. Even as late as 1935, Chicago’s Jay Berwanger became the first Heisman Trophy winner, but by 1939 Chicago’s scoreboard indicated that the glory days had passed, including a 61–0 loss to Harvard. Therefore, despite the legacies, and partly because of them, after much debate the university dropped football. http://education.stateuniversity.com/pages/2520/University-Chicago.html
Today, there are few people who would think of the University of Chicago and not think of academics and scholarship. This happened because President Hutchins looked at the school and what its product and image should be, and decided that the emphasis needed to be on academics rather than sports. Every school produces a certain sort of product. For example, there is a high proportion of professors and others that come out of the University of Chicago. Michigan’s product is almost certainly more likely to be a football fan, or great athlete, than a professor. Because Michigan’s predominant product is football, a lot of the school’s reputation rests upon having a solid and good football product.
- What would happen if Michigan suddenly had no football team?
- What would happen if Michigan’s football team started losing all of its games?
- What would happen if there were a huge ethical controversy surrounding Michigan football?
If Michigan football went to hell a lot of things would change within the school. There would probably be decreased alumni contributions and all sorts of other issues. The school would no longer be known for the same sort of product, which would have a corresponding impact on the school. Similarly, imagine if Chicago decided it were going to have the best football team out of any college in the United States, and went to extraordinary lengths to recruit players and promote this goal? What sort of effect do you think this would have on the school? I am pretty sure that the academic people at the institution, as well as all the alumni would be pretty upset about this. It would not go over well.
The reason I use this example is because every company, every person and most schools have a particular product that is very strong, for which they are known. Companies and other organizations thrive on their ability to have a strong, defined product. In most instances the successful organization becomes known for one specific thing, and for doing this one specific thing especially well. When an organization tries to have multiple products that are beyond their sphere of influence, things usually end up going badly.
For example, what if Apple, the maker of the IPhone, MacBooks and so forth suddenly decided that it wanted to get into the business of manufacturing All Terrain Vehicles with the Apple logo on them. Say, in addition, that Apple decided that ATVs were where its future was, and that it was going to put a lot of energy into manufacturing ATVs from this day forward.
First of all, the ATVs would probably not be very good because Apple does not have decades of experience manufacturing these machines, like it does making computer devices. In addition, its core customers would suddenly be quite alienated, and would likely stop buying many of its core products, so the company would suffer in this way. Apple would be guilty of manufacturing the wrong product and forgetting what business it was in.
When I was in college I had a girlfriend who was one class year ahead of me. She was exceptionally creative, smart and funny, and had a great overall personality. In her final year of college she interviewed with major advertising agencies and did very well. It was difficult to secure these interviews and call backs with major advertising agencies, but she was able to easily pull it off. The advertising agencies loved her. She ended up taking a job with CBS in the summer, instead of a job with an advertising agency. What the advertising agencies saw in this woman was her creativity, sincerity and the ability to relate to all sorts of people, while being nonjudgmental, and constantly coming up with useful new ideas.
At the same time, she was also interviewing with investment banks and other similar employers. Her friends were all getting jobs with investment banks, and she was getting the cold shoulder from the investment banks. The interviewers would come in very well dressed, professional and so forth–and always be rude to her. The advertising agencies, on the other hand, were very nice to her, and they would come in much less judgmental and even a bit frumpy.
- The advertising agencies did not like my girlfriend’s friends, who secured jobs with investment banks–but they really liked my girlfriend.
- The investment banks really liked my girlfriend’s friends–but they did not like my girlfriend.
“They do not like me because I am too vulnerable and not bitchy enough,” my girlfriend told me one day. “I need to change,” she said.
She was visibly upset about the fact that the banks would not even invite her back for an interview. I knew why this was occurring: She was too much of a free spirit, and too likable. She did not project the sort of authority and confidence that a banker needs to project. A banker is just a different person and a different product than my girlfriend was. She was perfect for advertising because she was flexible, creative, fun loving, and the sort of person who would come up with all sorts of creative ideas and concepts for the advertising agency. Her friends were the exact opposite. They were uptight, inflexible and suspicious of creative thinking. They would have been horrible fits for an advertising firm.
My girlfriend did decide to try and change. She turned from one of the nicest people I had ever known into a “bitch” virtually overnight. It did not suit her at all because deep down she was not the sort of person she was trying to be. She was trying to be a different product–and more like her friends who got jobs in the investment banks. When she tried to be bitchy it just did not work out right. Because it was not part of her natural personality, she was often incredibly rude to people and burned bridges. Unfortunately this whole transformation ended up alienating me too, and a wonderful relationship that had looked like it was headed for marriage was soon over. All because she tried to change her product–and who she was.
The worst thing a person or a company can do is lose sight of what its product is. My girlfriend, for example, decided that she wanted to be a different product and it simply did not work. Organizations and people lose sight of what their product is all the time. The idea of what is your product is something that is of profound significance to your career and life, and losing sight of your product is one of the greatest causes of failure.
For several years I have run a legal recruiting firm, and I have hired and managed close to if not more than 100 recruiters over the years. In the legal recruiting field the product is the candidates that the recruiters represent and send out to law firms. There is really no other product besides the people that the recruiting firm represents. Due to this product being a person, in order for the recruiters to earn money they need to:
- have good products and
- have a lot of high quality products and
- have customers (in this case the customers are law firms who are willing to hire the candidates)
In order to be a successful recruiter, the recruiter needs to have a product, and to have many products they can sell. As long as the recruiter ensures this, and nothing more, he or she will generally be in good shape. However, it is very common for recruiters to forget what their product is. They may spend their days talking on the phone, and not sending candidates out to law firms. Or they may go out to numerous lunches and have all sorts of meetings with attorneys and others, but never send out a product. None of what they are doing is really related to what their business is really about–even though they may think so. They get incredibly distracted and stop concentrating on their product. It is very easy for me to tell when a recruiter is going to fail. All I need to do is examine how many products they have (i.e., candidates), and whether or not they are doing anything with these products (i.e., sending the candidates out to law firms). Assuming the recruiter is doing this, the person will rarely have problems making placements–and a good living. It is as simple as this.
One of the most unusual cases of a recruiter failing I ever observed was of an extremely talented recruiter at our firm several years ago. He related well to the people and candidates, who liked him very much. However, this recruiter never sent a candidate out to a law firm unless he was nearly 100% confident that the law firm would interview his candidate. He did not want to get rejected by the law firm. Because of this one characteristic the recruiter probably only made 20% of the placements he could have made. In this case, the recruiter’s failure to produce was more related to his ego (his not wanting get rejected) than anything else. Because the product of his efforts was so strongly tied to his ego, this particular recruiter did far worse in his job than he could have done.
You need to keep your product in clear view at all times. There is nothing more important than the product you are offering and you need to know what that product is. Imagine, for example, if you were a professional rock star and then you decided that your true calling was also to be a painter and a public speaker. The odds are that these other products would unnecessarily occupy your time and also make your original, highly valued product (a rock star) suffer. This exact sort of thing is extremely common and happens more often than you might think.
You need to know what your product is. You also need to be working for an organization that has a product and knows what it is. I personally have made a number of mistakes in terms of not understanding our companies’ products in the past, and this has hurt me and the people inside the organization. Several years ago our company was doing incredibly well in the student loan business and I hired all sorts of people for money losing products that were unrelated to student loans, such as educational seminars and other things. The new products were unrelated to what the company’s strength was at the time, and they did not endure. Every company and organization needs to know exactly what its product is and make sure it is promoting the right product. Our strong product in this instance was “student loans”–and we should have stuck to promoting this only.
An organization, or person, cannot be strong when it is trying to promote the wrong product. Random products or a lack of concentration on the right products leads nowhere. Everything is about supply and demand: What products can be exchanged that have economic value? The money coming into a company generally comes in due to some sort of product or service being offered, which must be of some value. The money does not flow in due to the gossip at the water cooler, the long lunches, the screwing around with ideas that the company will never use, the Internet surfing and so forth. The product itself comes from something that is important–a need that people have, which the company can fulfill in a unique way.
You cannot succeed without a product, or without offering a product that people want. Never lose sight of what product you are offering, what your strength is, and what makes you unique. Concentrate your efforts on delivering the product, and delivering it effectively–not the distractions that will inevitably emerge along the way.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you will land among the stars.