Narcissistic Entitlement Syndrome

The word “narcissism” comes from the Greek character Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection and was made famous by the Greek poet Ovid. The story is one of great psychological complexity. In the story, Echo falls in love with Narcissus and gets rejected. The story makes it clear that Narcissus is only able to love himself and not others. Conversely, Echo completely loses herself in her love for Narcissus and has no sense of self at all. At the end of the story, Narcissus tells Echo, “I would die before I would give you power over me,” [Read more]

Choose an Employer Who Is Marching Forward

There are generally two types of employers in this world: the employer who is marching forward and the employer who is in retreat. There is also a third type of employer (for whom nothing is changing) that merits some discussion as well. However, for the most part, there are employers who are marching forward and employers who are retreating. What I am about to share with you could be the most beneficial advice about choosing between employers that you will ever receive. When I started my first job with a law firm, the firm was growing at a meteoric [Read more]

Try as Hard as You Can

Many people want and demand a lot out of life. They want the happiest family, the best material goods and vacations, the best homes, and the best cars. They demand the best in everything. They also want the best jobs and the most advancement. Often, these same people feel very angry and upset if life does not provide them the things they want. A lot of people are very upset with the world. They are angry about jobs they have lost. They are angry about advancements and breaks they have not received. In fact, these people believe the [Read more]

Do Not Get Involved in the Social Side of the Office

Several years ago we had an employee at one of our companies who was extremely intelligent. This person was older and had worked at several jobs before coming to our company. Although he’d never excelled at any of these jobs, he’d done well enough. He was hired as a writer to assist with various tasks for our companies. His abilities were not bad, and had he simply kept his head down and done his job I am confident he would still be here. Instead, this person was our company’s worst nightmare and still is to this day. The characteristics this person exhibited hurts more [Read more]

Show Up on Time

Several years ago a friend called me and encouraged me to interview at his law firm. He told me people at the firm were involved in various movie deals and hobnobbing with movie stars. He told me all of the lawyers were driving around in Porsche convertibles and the firm represented Los Angeles as I had come to see it in movies and television shows. He told me the firm was so exciting that none of the attorneys actually practiced law, and instead spent their time ”doing deals” and socializing with movie stars. For several months I [Read more]

Concentrate on Your Contribution

There is a secret to being an outstanding performer in any job and getting more raises, more recognition, and more responsibility. The secret is to be 100 percent focused on your work and to be passionate about your job. This is where your energy needs to go. The secret also involves another element that is equally important: don’t think about your anticipated reward. If you are committed to excelling at your job, you should not think for a second about what you are receiving in exchange for the work you are doing. Virtually everyone I know who has succeeded in any calling has shared these characteristics. People who possess these attributes end up getting hired even when the economy is crashing. In fact, if you have these characteristics, you will do well in whatever calling you decide to pursue. These characteristics breed admiration, rewards, raises, and also have the potential to make people famous. One of the best employees I ever hired really epitomized these characteristics when he received an unexpected $20,000 raise one day. Instead of seeming really happy about this, he simply said “thanks” and continued talking about the work problem he was involved in right before getting the raise. I could tell that deep down this guy did not even care much about the raise because he was so focused on the work. Throughout the years, I have received emails from him well after hours on numerous occasions, when he has worked late into the night at the office. He’s never told me about working late into the night. He has never bragged about the work he’s done. He has never asked for a raise. Nevertheless, year after year, the raises keep coming. The contribution he makes continues, and he is never focused on the reward he is going to receive. Interestingly, numerous people have come and gone during the same time. Every month or two they demand a new raise, show me a list of additional tasks they are working on that merit additional compensation, and when required to work late they often refuse, or, if they do stay late, make a big deal about it. Everything with these people is quid pro quo. One of our employees once received a paycheck that was $7 less than normal because of a deduction he had set up for insurance. Instead of investigating this and considering the reason behind it, the employee immediately assumed the company had intentionally shortchanged him the seven bucks. This employee, who was making $80,000 a year at the time, left me a message on my cell phone demanding the $7, and calling me dishonest. Additionally, he sent me an email stating that what had happened was “OUTRAGEOUS!!” (the capital letters and exclamation points are his). This employee also spent the morning he received his check going around telling other employees what had happened, spreading fear throughout the organization. At the time, the company had over 600 employees. This person did not stay employed with our company for long. He left because he found an opportunity where he believed he could make a few thousand dollars a year more. He lost that job rapidly and after that, I think he did not find work for a couple of years. That is what happens to people who focus solely on their reward. Despite their potential, they are so focused on protecting what they do have and making sure they have as much as others they do not concentrate on their work. These types of workers are too focused on themselves, and they spend too much time thinking about how they are underpaid and deserve more from their employer. While the above example may sound extreme, I have actually seen this sort of situation occur many times throughout the years. Some people are so focused on protecting what they have or deserve to have, they never get into their work. You need to get into your work. People who are focused on their work always rise. The natural tendency of bosses, supervisors, and companies is to generously reward people who are making an extraordinary contribution. We want to help those who are helping us. People who are focused on the reward are more problematic. If people are going out of their way to ensure they are rewarded all the time, the tendency is to resent them and feel they have gotten more than they are worth. A dynamic is set up wherein employers feel they need to protect themselves from the employee. Also, a tendency is to want to balance the scales by taking back from these sorts of employees. When you look at really good entrepreneurs who succeed in business, you quickly understand they are focused on providing value before they receive a reward. Entrepreneurs know they can only receive a reward if they make a contribution and somehow enrich a person’s life. Entrepreneurs who fail often do so for the same reason that employees fail in their jobs: they concentrate on taking rather than giving. You need to be focused on giving. Many successful business owners do not even reap any substantial profits until after several years of being in business and providing exceptional value. If you look around at people you have worked with in the past, you too will see there are generally two groups of people. The first consists of people who are focused on their job and are doing the best they possibly can. The second consists of people who are constantly evaluating the rewards they are getting relative to their efforts. [Read more]

Love What You Do

If you wish to get and excel at a job, one of the most important things you can do for yourself and for your employer is to love what you are doing. When I say, “love what you are doing,” I truly mean it. You must be so passionate about what you are doing you can hardly believe you’re getting paid for it. I do not care if you are 20 years old or 65 years old, you need to find and do work you enjoy. People who enjoy their work are the ones [Read more]

Never Focus on the Money: Focus on Your Higher Purpose and Contribution

People fail far too often in the working world because they focus too much on the money they earn at their jobs. The money you are paid is generally commensurate with your contribution to something more important, more meaningful, and much larger than yourself. When you focus on what you are doing for the world and the value of this contribution, you become energized. Being energized by your work brings more and better work your way, and ultimately leads to greater earnings. The money is a byproduct of your contribution to your job. You will be paid in any organization at a rate matching your contribution to the bigger picture. What is your particular contribution to the bigger picture? Every job makes a contribution to a bigger picture. I started delivering papers when I was 10 years old. By the time I was 13, I was getting up at 5 a.m. every morning to deliver over 175 papers in a prestigious suburb of Detroit. High-ranking auto executives lived in most of the houses. When I delivered these papers, I found myself energized by the thought I was providing them information they would be using [Read more]

Be Committed to What You Do

I am about to provide you some of the strangest job search and career advice you will ever receive from someone who’s in the recruiting industry. One thing you should know about me is that I’m a straight shooter. If I see a pattern repeat itself enough times, I know it’s something that must be true. The pattern I’m about to explain to you is so powerful it could change your career forever. I know it has changed mine. The secret is commitment. When I was in my 20s, I had a girlfriend who watched soap operas. She was committed to those shows. She would watch them every single day, and if she could not watch them, she would record them. I’m ashamed to admit that I would sometimes watch the soaps with her when she would catch up on the missed episodes. The one thing I quickly realized about soap operas was they were all about commitment, in that none of the characters could commit. Each person on every one of the shows would get into a series of relationships, be tempted by others, get out of relationships, get married, cheat, and so forth. This was all the soap operas were ever about. The characters would inevitably suffer hospitalizations for nervous breakdowns or horrible accidents (caused by their distractions). Then there would be horrible, drunken, public confessionals, and all sorts of other malfeasance. Moreover, the people on these shows would always be led to believe that, no matter how good their situation was, the grass was greener elsewhere. Several years later, when I got into the employment market and started recruiting, I began noticing this same soap opera pattern with clients and coworkers. People would leave a job for any lapse, no matter how small. If they were criticized by an employer, I would see them start looking for another job. If someone heard another employer was paying more, they would send a résumé. If their current company or firm were getting bad press, they would start looking for another job. The reasons were innumerable. Some might seem proactive, while others were purely reactionary. One thing seemed clear to me: There was a major lack of commitment in the marketplace. People could not or would not commit themselves to a single employer, or to anything for that matter. Commitment is key in order to experience any form of success. You should not do any sort of job if your heart isn’t in it, and you can’t be committed. If you are a public relations intern, you need to be committed to that job. If you are the president of a corporation, you need to be committed to that as well. Not being committed to your career will only have negative consequences. Several months ago, I was speaking with a proofreader in my company, who resigned because she had found a better job across the street, one that paid more. The amount of the pay increase was minimal. I was actually prepared to give the woman a raise, a higher amount than her new job. In our meeting, the young woman explained she liked working for our company, but she needed to make more money because her husband had been unemployed for some time. I told her I was very sorry about this and asked how she became aware of the new job. She was a nice girl and I was interested in talking to her about this. The job she was doing at our company was very demanding and had required her to take work home at night, and to work very hard for the most part. In response, she told me she’d been freelancing for the other company for some time, and this was how she came to entertain a new full-time job offer. Once she told me this, I was no longer interested in trying to keep this person at our company. I knew immediately she was not committed to our company to the degree I wanted her to be. She was not someone I wanted on my team. Your boss (and we all have bosses) wants employees who are committed to what they do. Whenever I hear someone tell me they are just doing something until they can find something better, I know that person will never really succeed. When I see someone leave a job for trivial reasons, I also know that person will probably not reach the success for which they’re striving. When I see people watch the clock and leave at 5 p.m. every day because they are not really interested in what they are doing, I know those people will probably have mediocre careers. Commitment shines through, and it is easy to see when it’s not there. Each morning, I read the Wall Street Journal. I spend at least 45 minutes reading it cover to cover. Most of the stories in this publication are about Fortune 500 companies and other such organizations. At least once a week, I see something along these lines written there: John Smith started out as a repairman for a local office of X company in 1977. Today, he is CEO of the same company, with 18,000 employees in 26 countries and revenues of $4.2 billion last year… It’s not coincidental I keep seeing stories like this in the paper. Without a doubt, the people who are rising up in these situations are those who are the most committed. When they join a company they join and remain in a committed fashion. They show up to work. These are the kinds of people who grow within corporations. They usually keep their jobs, but if they ever lose a job they will find another job quickly. Their commitment attracts success. Being committed also has financial rewards. I have several people working for me on salary, whose incomes have consistently risen (more than tripled) in the past 3-4 years alone, because I know they are committed. I know their hearts and souls are in the job. I have recruiters working for our company who make 2-3 times more money than the average recruiter due to their level of commitment to the job. It’s very common for people who’ve held too many jobs within a short span of time to never find a job in their industry again. This happens to [Read more]

Sympathy, Morale and the Importance of Being Organized

In every job I have ever had, I have been happy for the most part. When I was an attorney, for example, I liked many aspects of being an attorney. When I worked in the asphalt business, I loved many aspects of that business. Most people are able to find some level of enjoyment in every job that they do. What is interesting, though, is that in every job I ever had, there were always people around me who were more than happy to stop by my office and go out to lunch with me, just [Read more]

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