Comments on: Do Not Be Influenced by Others’ Negative Opinions of You

By: find attorney

find attorney — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 16:46:50 +0000

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By: julie

julie — Mon, 14 Mar 2011 18:31:15 +0000

what a fantastic post, I have you as my homepage as you always make sense and I completely relate. you discuss what other dare. Your posts are memorable and inspirering. I for one am glad you did not listen to the destructive comments as I have been able to relate to this post so much. Keep up the good work its much appreciated.

By: Neva Peters

Neva Peters — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 20:28:26 +0000

So very true – unfortunately I now feel that I am also stupid in believing that most companies believe their mission statement. What I have found in my last 3 positions is that they expect you to believe their mission statement when the company only believes in taking care of themselves. The best way they can look good is to make you look bad. My last supervisor continued on a weekly basis to tell me that I wasn’t doing good enough. Even though I guit 4 months ago I am still feeling the effects of the “beat down.” It is hard to remember that we all have made very good choices and decisions and are good people. Getting out of a situation is not always easy, but I am trying to remain positive.

By: Rick B

Rick B — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 01:06:07 +0000

Yes, the kind of emotional abuse you describe here is not far off from what I went through. I had to keep proving myself and I often had incompetent people who I had to please. I started to suffer from lack of self confidence and felt that they must be doing something right and I must be messed up in some way. The job got to be about 75% pain and suffering and 25% held some satisfactory parts to it. The way I dealt with a lot of it was to become a perfectionist and overkill some of the jobs I was on. Basically, I was governed by a fear of failure and the company took advantage of that. I finally left but am still rebuilding self esteem and my health.

By: Catherine

Catherine — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 21:11:56 +0000

Thanks for this very thought provoking article. Here’s my story to reinforce that you can overcome and move forward in your life…

I was downsized in early 2009 from a really high-end company. They laid off half of their sales force. I panicked.

A close friend of mine asked me to work for her in her home health agency. I had no experience in the medical field but I was desperate for a job. Besides, she was a good friend…and she promised I would be making even more than my old $100k+ job.

I was critized from day one. She didn’t train me and constantly berated me for not knowing the home health business. I worked my ass off and studied the business on my own and within a few months, I was closing more sales and getting referrals from hospitals that she had never been able to crack in the seven years of her business.

The more successful I became, the worse the abuse. Again, this was a good friend of mine….she docked my commissions for obscure reasons. I was making less than half of what I was promised. However, her business flurished and she bought herself a new Mercedes.

My self esteem had never been lower. I went from being a National Account Manager with prestigious companies,traveling the world, and winning achievement awards to getting beat up on a daily basis for not answering my phone on the first ring.

I can’t remember where I read this but these words struck me to the core. “If you don’t know when enough is enough, then you are destined to contribute to your own suffering.” I quit the next day.

It’s been several months now and I still don’t have a job. But I gotta say, I have never been happier. I know that I will land soon and work for a company that values me. I will return the favor by building their business and value to their customers.

By: Mary

Mary — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 23:24:13 +0000

I really identified with this essay about others’ negative opinions. I have felt that way almost all my adult life about the career that I initially chose. I decided, finally, that it was the career itself and not the different jobs within it that I was having problems with. So – I went to law school to try and change things and re-enter the work force with a different skill set. Unfortunately, I did not pass my state bar the first time and had no money to try again. Since then, I have not been able to land a permanent job in either my old field or new.

That is another reason people do not leave abusive situations, particularly in this economy. Having a job, I have learned to my infinite dismay, is better than not.

By: Gonzalo Vergara

Gonzalo Vergara — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 05:49:49 +0000

Really good article!!! Strive to do your best, improve yourself (as Mr. Barnes streses in his columns) but never be afraid to be yourself… this is what makes you an individual and gives value to your life.

Never let your dignity play second fiddle because someone tries to put you down. You can always find another job (Mr. Barnes and his company will help you find one); and if another individual tries to put you down in a relationship all the time, that relationship will not last. Leave it!

By: Fatima Da

Fatima Da — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 00:03:48 +0000

Very interesting story and thanks for sharing…and I do agree with you. Our self worth and Sanity are two of many key/important aspects in life we should not ignore…