Above Life’s Turmoil

Above Life’s Turmoil by James Allen is an excellent book that will help you confront the truth of who you are. The message of the book is timeless and asks you to look inside of yourself and change instead of trying to change external conditions around you. This is a classic in self-improvement literature that I am sure you will enjoy.

–Harrison

Above Life’s Turmoil

by James Allen

Foreword

True Happiness

The Immortal Man

The Overcoming of Self

The Uses of Temptation

The Man of Integrity

Discrimination

Belief, the Basis of Action

Belief that Saves

Thought and Action

Your Mental Attitude

Sowing and Reaping

The Reign of Law

[Read more]

We Create Problems So That We Can Grow and Be Happy

When I was 15 years old, my grandmother took me to a Honda motorcycle dealership one day and bought me a moped. I believe it was called an Aero 50. That was one of the greatest days of my life at the time because, for at least the previous few years, I had been lobbying my parents for a moped and they had never gotten me one. Then, one Friday, my grandmother came over and I tried the same lobbying approach on her, and by Saturday afternoon, I was riding a new moped. When I got [Read more]

Abraham Lincoln, Bringing People Together, and Your Career

Several years ago, after September 11, 2001, I was speaking with the founder of an internet consulting firm in San Francisco. The firm was getting ready to close its doors and go out of business because all of its work had gone away. During the several years when the business had operated, they had consulted for a few firms that had ended up becoming very successful. However, the majority of the firms they consulted for had closed their doors and gone away. Since the founder of the company had been in the business for so long, I was very interested [Read more]

Charlemagne, the Roman Empire, and the Importance of Good Leadership

Over the past several years I have become fascinated with leaders and entrepreneurs and what makes them successful. The power of an entrepreneur or leader — to take an idea, unite people around it, and create a long-functioning and successful organization — is profound. When organizations are experiencing a decline, a good leader can turn things around. When a company is starting up, a good leader can make it successful. In fact, the leader of a nation can profoundly shape its outcome. I have no doubt that many large companies and other organizations have been saved by the [Read more]

Employers Want to Hire You

One of the most important things for you to realize when you are looking for a job and see a position advertised is this: The employer wants to hire you. If the position is advertised, the employer is actually desperate to hire you. When I say ”desperate,” I mean that the employer wants you yesterday and not today. The employer is losing money, or has a need that is really “calling out” when they start advertising jobs. A few years ago I was running a company that was growing like absolute madness. We could not hire or bring people on fast enough. I remember, at the time, that I hired a person and paid him $85,000 and his assistant another $50,000 just to bring people in to hire. I advertised our jobs on our own website and also made sure that those same jobs were advertised on numerous job boards. In one month I took out contracts for over $120,000 worth of job postings. Twice a week I would meet with this manager and the conversations would generally go something like this: ”I have over 40 job openings right now! Each of these jobs that is not being done is costing me a tremendous amount of money. You are probably costing this company like $500,000 a week by not getting these openings filled and filled fast!!” Each day I would watch this person go home with a stack of hundreds of resumes to review. He used to fall asleep every single night reviewing resumes. Our need for people was absolutely out of control. We needed bodies and did not know what to do. In other parts of the country I remember we needed people so badly that people would walk in, start interviewing, and if they looked like they were respectable they were hired on the spot. During this characteristically busy time, I heard a story from one of our managers about when a girl walked in for an interview to our office, which was bustling and out of control. He looked at her and said: ”You look fine. I do not have time to interview you. Sit down and start answering the phone!” This is what it is like when companies are growing and need people. They want to hire you. Sometimes if you get really lucky, they do not even ask many (if any questions). I remember walking out of my office one day and seeing a man with scores of tattoos down his arm sitting directly outside of my office. I had no idea how he had been hired. The man had a shaved head and was wearing jeans and a starchy clean tee shirt. He had a belt on that appeared to be a chain of some sort and was also wearing boots. The man had some of the most intimidating and scary looking muscles I have ever seen on a human being. He looked like a larger skinhead version of Mr. T, with a shaved head and a bad attitude towards humanity. Just to be clear, this is not the sort of office atmosphere I have traditionally fostered where I have worked. This was quite a scene for me and a lot to take in. I did not care, however. It is best to allow people to be themselves. ”Nice tattoos!” I told him as I exited my office. I noticed that his biceps were probably larger than my calves. I probably should not have said this. The tattoo on his arm appeared to be some sort of important scene. It looked like a woman with a snake wrapped around her body screaming. Whatever it represented, the tattoo was positively intimidating. I will never forget what happened next. The man looked up at me and growled, then went back to whatever he was working on. I was afraid he was going to kill me. I met with several people over the next few days and no one could figure out how he got hired. We had been so busy with everything he had been hired by mistake. He had showed up for work and people were so afraid of the guy they did not want to tell him that hiring him had been a mistake. Then, incredibly, he was allowed to start work. At the time we had around 120 people working in the particular office he was in. About 30 people who were sitting within 20 feet of this guy were stone cold silent during the day. It had formerly been a fun and playful work atmosphere, but they were all absolutely terrified. Men and women. ”We need to fire this guy and get him out of here,” I told a group of our managers behind a closed door meeting one day. ”I am afraid he is going to kill someone.” It certainly looked that way. The guy skulked through the office, bumping into people and staring them down in response when they did not react. Everyone (including myself) was absolutely terrified of this man. ”I’m not going to fire him. He will kill me if I do!”’ one manager said. One after another, the managers came back with the same thing. There was no way any one of them was going to fire this guy because they were terrified of them. Every single manager refused to fire the guy. They were afraid of physical violence directed towards them. We ended the meeting with none of us knowing what to do. A few days later a guy in the mail room declared that he was not afraid of the guy and would fire him. This completed the process and everything went pretty smoothly from there, as far as I know. When companies are in ”hiring mode,” they need people so badly that even assassins can make it through the door (as evidenced by this case). Back at this particular point in time our company was so desperate to hire people, it was amazing. These are the sorts of employers you need to find. A company that is growing and needs people. In a bad economy, places like debt settlement firms, collection agencies and others are growing and bursting at the seams. In a good economy it may be mortgage companies. The point is there are always tons of employers out there who are growing and want to hire you. I read a story the other day about a debt settlement company that is growing so fast, it is unbelievable. You need to find companies like this. When you go into interview with any company, they are desperate to hire you or someone else. Think about it. When an employer takes the time to line people up to interview you and bring you in to speak with them, they must be pretty eager to hire someone. Most employers that are interviewing people are very eager to hire. Exceptionally eager. Here is what happens, however. Most people go into interviews and throw off all of the wrong signals and end up not getting the job. It happens to everyone. You do not get the job because you throw off the wrong signals and the employer thinks you do not want the job, do not have the confidence or charisma [Read more]

Improve When Others Are Not

One of the more interesting experiences of my life occurred when I was about 13 years old and I was on an airplane headed to Spain to study for the summer with a group of high school students. The airplane had literally been held up about 20 minutes because of me. I was so much younger than the other travelers that no one was too interested in spending much time with me. Consequently, I had mostly been left to my own devices up to that point in the trip.  We were traveling from Detroit to New York and I was almost left [Read more]

Your Job is About the Transference Energy

A few years ago I was in India and was interested in going to see what is called ‘‘an energy healer’’. I was interested in this because I had been to several seminars where I had heard about people changing outcomes and healing others with energy by transferring energy from the universe. I went to see a Reiki energy healer and they did something called ‘‘balance my Chakras’’. This was an experience in itself, but the real knowledge I got out of energy and its place in our lives between people happened when I was sitting in the lobby waiting [Read more]

You Should Not Dabble: To Succeed It’s All or Nothing

My last helicopter lesson was on a Christmas morning several years ago. I am very glad that I made that my last helicopter lesson. I had shown up at the flight school around 6:00 am. The previous evening I had been out pretty late and was not in a mood to fly a helicopter that morning. I had to go to school at that hour, however, because it was the only time slot I was willing to pay for (it is cheaper to rent a helicopter early in the morning), and I also had a full-time job to be at during [Read more]

Socrates and Your Job Search

Several years ago, we were launching a newsletter for law schools. One of our employees who was working on the project decided that the title of the newsletter should be “The Signal” and he was very enthusiastic about this particular title. In fact, I had never seen him so enthusiastic about anything. The problem with this name was that the domain name for it had been taken long ago and I seem to remember that the person who owned the domain name had no interest in selling it. Without a domain name, it did not seem like it made sense to have an important newsletter going out to law schools with this particular name. The newsletter was supposed to be electronic, and due to it being electronic, people would start associating the name “The Signal” with the newsletter and looking for it under this URL when they did searches online. I explained this to my employee but he was having none of it. He did not care what the URL was. He was convinced the newsletter needed to be called “The Signal,” and when I would not agree to this he became extremely irate. He stomped out of work. He stopped working on the project and refused to work on the newsletter the next day. What had happened to this particular employee is that he had decided that things just needed to be a certain way and he did not want to hear anything that was different from this certain way at all. He had made up his mind that only one name was appropriate and had thrown all of his thinking, energy, and spirit behind something that was really unnecessary. However, this is something that many of us do in one form or another, and we do it with numerous, numerous things. One of the biggest challenges for me in working with people looking for jobs, is that most people seem to believe that their search needs to work in a certain way. They believe that there is one way of looking for a job and that way is the only way. People are extremely attached to doing things a certain way. For someone who is in their mid 50s, they may believe they should never go online and that the best sources of jobs are always in the newspaper. Other people may believe that networking is the only approach to getting a job. Still, other people may believe they will only be able to ever get a job with a certain type of employer. People are very stubborn and this obstinance is something that really holds them back. The guy who worked for me was so frustrated by the title of the newsletter, he ended up not coming into work regularly and turned from a very dependable employee to one who was completely unreliable. This was a huge mistake and he ended up losing his job. He was pigheaded about something that did not really matter. Many of us are pigheaded [Read more]

Remain Calm

For a portion of one summer when I was younger, I had a valet job at the Grosse Pointe Yacht Club outside of Detroit, Michigan. I worked during the lunch hour and spent most of my time sitting in a small air conditioned shed in a corner of the parking lot waiting for cars to pull up. When a car would pull up, I would fling open the door to the shed and run over to the car, hand the person a ticket, and park the car.

One day, I was sitting in my little shed and a giant Cadillac pulled up and a man stepped on to the curb. As I was exiting my shed, he looked at me and shouted:

“Hey Boy … PARK THIS!”

The man then proceeded to throw his keys in the grass.

This amazed me. I used to lift weights and played football in high school. From the way I’d taught myself to think, this sort of treatment was not to be tolerated.

“Are you kidding?!” I shouted at the man. “Are you trying to start something with me?! Because if you are, I’m ready!” I strolled slowly up to the car which was about 20 yards away. Apparently terrified, the man went sprinting inside of the club. A few moments later the manager of the club emerged and fired me. The manager was so upset about the whole thing he actually called my mother and told her about the incident.

I lost my job because I lost my cool.

When you think about your life and your career, what would be different if you had, instead, developed the ability to remain calm? Most people are agitated–moving in many different directions and unable to remain calm. When you remain calm many things end up changing in your life.

Remaining calm is one of the most important traits we can have. Being calm is not just about being relaxed and not yelling. Being calm is about being focused enough to absorb the world around you and make deliberate and carefully considered decisions before acting. When you are calm, you do not lose jobs like I did, and you are more likely to keep friends and to advance rapidly in whatever environment you are in. People will trust you more. People will look to you to fill leadership roles. When we are calm, we are far more powerful than when we choose, instead, to react from our gut with anger, fear, or other nonproductive emotions. Calmness is a virtue and one of the strongest you can have. The calmer you are, the more you can control and understand the world around you. The more you understand the world around you, the better you can be at everything you do. This is the nature and importance of being calm.

Several years ago, I took a multi-day course at Disneyland about leadership. While I could write for several days about what the course covered, I remember when the instructors summed up the entire meaning of the course after countless examples and numerous exercises they said it with few words: “Leadership is about being calm.”

The more I thought about this example, the more I realized the most important thing we can do in business, our careers and in leadership, is to be calm. The more we relax our minds and our bodies, the more positioned we are to make the correct decisions in our careers. I once read a book about former president Kennedy. Apparently, Kennedy liked to use stimulants and was often up for days during his periods of stimulant use. While it is not widely talked about, there was some fear among members of his cabinet that he might have potentially created a disaster during the Cuban Missile Crisis due to his use of stimulants and inability to remain calm. Some conspiracy theorists have even speculated he was assassinated by the CIA because they felt his inability to control his emotions could have led to a nuclear Armageddon. Despite an illustrious presidency in many respects, Kennedy’s inability to consistently be calm was considered by many a massive weakness.

Several years ago, a high school friend of mine named Jeff was coming to Los Angeles from the Midwest to visit me and a friend of mine, John. We decided we would rent a giant limousine and take Jeff around Los Angeles to show him the sites. The limousine was so large it had a Jacuzzi in its trunk! I had honestly never seen anything like it. Because it was so massive, it blocked two driveways when it was parked in front of my house. About 10 minutes after the limousine arrived we called our friend to see where he was.

He told John and I he would not be able to make it because he was having dinner with his girlfriend and her parents, who’d shown up at the last minute. At that moment, I got extremely angry and felt hurt. Here I was with this giant limousine in front of my house with a bubbling jacuzzi in the trunk I’d already paid for. I felt alone and stupid. I exchanged some harsh words with Jeff and decided I would never speak with him again.

That was several years ago.

Do I regret it? Yes. I overreacted. In contrast, John got mad too, but he made up with Jeff just a few days later. To this day, I have not spoken with Jeff.

It’s easy for me to look back now and realize how wrong I was. Jeff was rude, but if I had looked at the totality of the situation I would have realized getting angry was a stupid decision. Instead, I should have remained calm and simply filed this episode away and recognize that I could not always trust him when we made plans. I could have also been empathetic and understanding of his need to entertain his girlfriend’s parents. Instead, I chose to get mad.

I’ve seen careers abruptly crash because of people failing to be calm. People react inappropriately to a perceived slight and fire off a crazy and savage email to someone. Someone does not think something through before acting. People whose careers soar to incredible heights are most often the ones who have the ability to remain calm. Being calm is more than just consistently being relaxed. Being calm is having the ability to react in a level-headed way to circumstances around you and face the world without getting flustered and keep your confidence strong.

Being calm is a sign of security and self confidence.

When you are calm, you are often more in control than the people around you. Many people fly off the handle at work, in public and when they feel they have been wronged. Generally, when someone flies off the handle, someone else is receiving their anger and negative emotion. The person who is on the receiving end typically has a couple of potential reactions. The first is to lash out and get angry. This is the most common reaction. The least common reaction is when the person on the receiving end remains calm. The person who remains calm puts themselves at a profound advantage. Usually what ends up happening is the person who has reacted angrily, or irrationally, comes to their senses and realizes they acted and responded in the wrong way. They come back to the person they have reacted to and seek apologies or attempt to make up. At that point, a subtle power shift has occurred and the person who was able to remain calm has assumed control. When you remain calm, you almost always end up in the role of the leader—regardless of the situation.

When we think of generals, presidents, CEOs and other leaders, we rarely think of them as people who fly off the handle. Instead, we think of them as people who are constantly able to remain calm no matter what. We want leaders who have the ability to stay focused and calm despite the turmoil around them. We do not want people who fly off the handle.

We think more of people who have the ability to remain calm. We respect those around us who stay calm. Being calm is so respected we have a word for it in the English language – “cool”. We call people with the ability to remain calm “cool”. We elevate people in society we believe are cool. Fonzi from the show “Happy Days” was considered “cool”. LL Cool J is considered “cool”. Action heroes are always “cool” when others around them appear to be acting nuts. We respect people in our society who are able to maintain their composure and stay cool.

In your job, nothing is more important than being cool. One of the best jobs I ever had growing up was working for Domino’s Pizza as a driver. Back in the 1980s, I was making $150+ some days delivering pizza. The tips were really good. Unfortunately, I only worked there for one summer due to an incident delivering pizza in a bad neighborhood. I did not get fired from this job. However, when I tried to get a job there the next summer they told me they did not have any openings (which I am almost certain was not true). I’m pretty sure they told me this because of the incident I am about to relate.

I dropped off a pizza in a bad neighborhood and the person’s change was only a few cents. When the person asked me for change I said: “Are you kidding?” There was only a few pennies at issue and in addition to not giving me a tip the person was asking for a few cents. I was deeply offended.

After I fished the few cents out of my pocket, the guy said to me: “If you had the change ready, I might have let you keep it. Now get the f**k off my porch.”

I was absolutely incredulous. I got in my car and started driving away, but then my anger got the better of me. I stopped my car and backed up. I got out of the car and screamed “F**k you!” at the top of my lungs at the house. The guy came out of his house and screamed “F**k you too, bitch!” This bizarre episode lasted a minute or two as we stood there screaming at each other. Eventually I peeled out in my car and drove away.

When I got back to the pizza parlor, my manager said, “Calm down. Calm down.” The manager looked like Bill Murray and he said something I will never forget to this day: “I know that guy too. He is a total a**hole, but you have to calm down. It is not professional to stand on the street screaming at a customer when you have a Domino’s pizza sign on the top of your car. The guy’s neighbors called me about you!”

The calmer you are, the more opportunities will present themselves and the fewer opportunities you will end up losing in your life. There is no sense losing your calm. This is simply not something you should do. You need to remain calm at all times.

Remaining calm will not only keep you employed, it can also help you get a job. When you are calm, you make better decisions and understand more of the world around you and what is going on. You can see opportunities where others cannot. People who are effective networkers are often very calm because they are very adept at being able to listen to others and understand where others are coming from.

People who are not calm are most often more interested in making themselves heard than understanding others. Steven Covey, the author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, is fond of saying “Seek to understand before being understood.” This is excellent advice and something I have heard many of the most successful people repeat time and time again. In sales, for example, this is something I have seen transform careers. People who have the ability to remain calm are much more likely to have cultivated the ability to understand. Understanding people and situations requires that you remain calm.

When we react to things in the world, or instantly make decisions, we are most often doing so due to our conditioning and the things we have been led to believe. We react instinctively instead of thinking things through. The ability to react instinctively often serves us well. However, when we are able to remain calm we are often far more effective. One of the most effective things we can do is to delay our decisions and not make decisions quickly. Making rapid-fire decisions is something that can do us a great deal of harm. When you are calm you are able to make decisions in a slower and more deliberate way that will serve you very well. If you delay making a decision you can always make another decision later. [Read more]

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