Comments on: The Importance of Fitting In

By: Dawn Dziuba

Dawn Dziuba — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:24:20 +0000

The idea that anyone would want to work in a place that resembled their
family is absurd. I would make sure I even avoided working with people who had the same names or years in difference as my parents or siblings. This idea is ridiculous. Most people want work to be completely different from their family life.

By: Sandye Whitaker

Sandye Whitaker — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 09:57:16 +0000

Dear Mr. Barnes,
Your article on “fitting in” hit the nail on the head. Thank you for such insight on a touchy, and very real, subject matter. Just check out how many CEO’s were Eagle Scouts as young men to further validate your comments. My “fit in” is living in Aspen and it has been an amazing commonality. I sincerely enjoy your writing.

Kindest regards,
Sandye Whitaker

By: Sharon Cosgrave

Sharon Cosgrave — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 17:56:57 +0000

I need some advice. I have 30 years of experience and during that time have had 10 jobs. Early in my career, I had trouble balancing demands of marriage and career and made moves to accommodate my husband. Post divorce, I had challenges with merging firms and new management teams that moved out the old team and brought in a new one. How do I deal with this so my resume gets read without job-hopping bias? Thanks.

By: Jim Cox

Jim Cox — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 20:23:19 +0000

A great article that could be improved by giving specific examples of how one can better fit in. I’ll share my failures here.

My experience at University (BA and MBA) encouraged “standing out,” not fitting in. This left me poorly prepared for the world of work where the rules are quite different. Being the smartest guy in the room is great at school, but I discovered too late might be highly threatening to my coworkers or boss.

At my first full-time job, I overlooked opportunities to socialize with my peers after work; I didn’t consider it important to my career.

I paraded my counterculture hobbies and interests without gauging how odd they might make me look in a conservative corporate culture.

I brown-bagged my lunch to save money and ate alone; while my peers ate out together and shared information through informal channels.

I considered my sense of humor and style of clothes quirky and unique. I did not know that my Kentucky accent had already branded me an outsider.

My hard work got me transferred to a different, more conservative department where my hard-headed independence was even less appreciated. I was soon invited to seek employment elsewhere.

By: Rachael Sutton

Rachael Sutton — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 15:47:06 +0000

There is a culture in every family, community, company, organization, and religion, and to function, you do have to be comfortable to be part of the team, but I wouldn’t be too quick to judge and assign blame, if someone doesn’t fit in. Not every culture is healthy, and not every person who holds a leadership or management position is stable or really the right one for the task.

I think sometimes, the misfit has more to do with management refusing to recognize the importance of assessing and correctly placing people in the right task. We define the job, and then try to make people fit, when what we really have is a whole list of tasks and duties, and a whole group of people to assign to those activities.

The vast majority of job dismissals are attributed to a lack of people skills. If you lack them, you will have difficulty fitting in anywhere there are people. If it is just a conflict of personalities, then, sometimes re-pairing, or separating “conflictees” can make all the difference.

The bottom line is the failure is really a shared responsibility, and it always offers learning opportunities if you follow with the right questions. I highly recommend an exit interview and informal discussion with peers.

1. Why didn’t this work out?
2. What can we do differently or improve?
3. How can we screen out this kind of cultural difference?
4. Is there a trend here?

By: victor perri

victor perri — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 15:25:01 +0000

It is rather incredible that throughout this article there is not even an acknowlegement to yhe facts that making “fitting in” the sine qua non of success in the professional world is both irrational and highly discriminatory for reasons that are neither objectively supportable nor a matter that a candidate has the ability to contol. This is largely just a euphimism for a new form of discrimination and obsequiecsness in the workplace. Vic Perri

By: Robert Maddox

Robert Maddox — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:56:00 +0000

I have an associate paralegal degree but, I have never worked as a paralegal and there is a two year gap between now and when I graduated. I was thinking that membership and getting certified by the “National Association of legal assistants and paralegals” would benefit me along with membership at a local paralegal association would help, but would like your opinion.

By: Richard Van Dunn

Richard Van Dunn — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 14:36:57 +0000

I would like to buy up to 2 hours of Mr. Barnes personal time for some personal career coaching. Please tell me how this can be accomplished.

Respectfully,

Richard V. Dunn

By: Sonya

Sonya — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:40:57 +0000

Excellent article! I could have used this information a long time ago, but it is just as fitting now. Thanks!!!

By: Mel Mann

Mel Mann — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 12:00:58 +0000

Shaw said, “All history is made by unreasonable men.” In my experience in business this is very much true as groupthink doesn’t advance toward goals effectively, even when the goals are shared. Your observations are accurate, however wouldn’t you agree when social connections run up against business decisions the latter will trump?